mbee Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) Hi Everyone! I had a question for you guys. So 2.5 months ago was my breakup with the ex. He dumped me, cheated on me and left me for this married chick who lives 1000 miles away. He's still "with" her whatever that means but whatever. So the first month was crazy. I didn't know he had cheated at first so was being super nice, responding to his calls, being sweet. Once the truth came out, I tried going NC, but he sent major breadcrumbs (I love you, I'm thinking of you, I want you to be in my life, your amazing), wrote me 6 page emails, showed up at my job (did not see him and asked him to leave) and begged me to see him. He even told my friend to tell me he canceled his flight to see this married chick cause it wasn't working out. It was ridiculous but I thought he was having a wakeup call, figuring out what he lost, etc. No he wasn't. This happened for 6 weeks after the breakup. I almost learned my lesson and then he gave me the whole "I need to let you go" speech and said I was hurting him. This was in June. At that point we didn't talk on the phone or anything. He sent me a couple of sweet texts, emails, etc. He made his Facebook profile public (I know this was intentional for me to see), wrote a poem about me and put it on FB for all to see (this is 100% about me) and on a website, and other random things not worth mentioning. I did break NC a couple of times cause him reaching out was making this so hard, and the poem he wrote made me feel really confused. Well he sent me an email a few weeks ago saying he was broke and couldn't pay bills he owed me (we lived together for a year and his name is on our lease). I was being sweet and a total pushover and said, no problem. Well a few days later I find out he's flying to be with this married woman for 3 weeks, meaning he's not working for 3 weeks and had enough money for a plane ticket, eating out and whatever other expenses. I got pissed and wrote him an email saying if he can do that, then he should pay me back and that it's not fair for him to not own up to his responsibilities. He replied back basically saying the following: he will entertain the possibility of paying me back but sees no reason why he should, how he's moved on and how I need to let him live his life since he's letting me live mine, how I need to stop rehashing the past, and this is quoting him, "It makes me sad to watch you besmirch whatever we had by the person you're portraying. I believed you were bigger than this. Just let it be. We only hurt each other this way. Let me remember you as someone better than this." I have not responded at all and will never respond. I'm mainly venting and just want to hear people's insight, especially if you've been in a similar situation. I'm taking the loss on the money. It's not even worth following up on. And it makes me angry. He acted like his behavior has been totally normal, like this is a normal breakup and a normal situation and that he doesn't have to even live up to his responsibilities or show me any respect. I've been holding this response in my head but it's almost been a couple of weeks and since it's still in my mind, I figure it would be good to vent about it with you kind folks and get your insight or motivation to move past this and reassurance that leaving this alone is the right call. Edited July 11, 2013 by mbee
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