crude Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 What is the incentive into getting into a relationship with you when he's getting everything he wants plus keeping his freedom/options open? I love how Ninja and others always assume the man is only after one thing, only to find out he COULD have sex, but he passes. You'd think by now you posters wouldn't assume that men are all after sex, but you keep making the same mistake. This is why I always laugh at the "just not that into you" people, who assume that no man on earth would pass on sex if he was interested. There's a giant segment of men who have opted out of the dating game who might be interested in a woman, but they've learned to be contented with their job, friends, and hobbies.
Kamille Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Hi Paige Listen, you are not the first woman to whom this happened. Yes, it's frustrating. No I don't understand why men walk away from what could be a great relationship. But what's even more striking about these scenarios is the torture we women will inflict on ourselves. Why do we stay with men who tell us they don't want to be in a serious relationship and men who act accordingly (as you said your guy did)? Why aren't we better at establishing what we want early on? It sounds like you value the connection you have more than he does. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate your relationship the same way you do. Basically, flip the question. Make it about what you want. 4
Revolver Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 The reality is he probably doesn't like you as much you think he does.
Mrlonelyone Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 He does not like you as much as you like him. You want him to like you that much but he doesn't. It could also be, as one other here said, he likes you but sees how needy you may be and does not want that in his life. When we fall in limmerance, a false form of love, we feel that the object of our affection is perfect and everything is perfect and it hurts to not be around them. When this is a mutual feeling people have gotten married only to wake up in a couple of years and realize they really don't like eachother at all. That is what you are feeling but it is one sided at least to some degree. (I don't think you would feel so concerned unless the man was showing you some attention.) Hi Paige Listen, you are not the first woman to whom this happened. Yes, it's frustrating. No I don't understand why men walk away from what could be a great relationship. But what's even more striking about these scenarios is the torture we women will inflict on ourselves. Why do we stay with men who tell us they don't want to be in a serious relationship and men who act accordingly (as you said your guy did)? Why aren't we better at establishing what we want early on? It sounds like you value the connection you have more than he does. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate your relationship the same way you do. Basically, flip the question. Make it about what you want. This. OP what do you want out of life and a relationship and is this man giving it to you. We have all been there. We want a relationship with a particular person and don't get it. Then we get a relationship with another person who likes us back and then wonder why we thought the first person was so wonderful. It might not happen right away, but in 6 months or a year someone new will come along and make you realize what real love is like. I'm not a dude. I've just had this happen to me enough to know that he's not ready to be in a committed relationship with you. Marriage/LTR/whatever label you want to put on it. Sorry but "relationships" are not all equal. Marriage is a quantum leap above and beyond a "relationship". A "relationships" life time is measured in months at most a couple of years. marriages are measured in decades. (Relationships where people are living together for years, with children, etc. are what's called common law marriages.) Some guys and gals only start serious relationships when they can see possibly being married to a person for the rest of their life if all goes well.
umirano Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 A "relationships" life time is measured in months at most a couple of years. marriages are measured in decades. Not anymore. In my country the divorce rate is 51%, the average marriage lasts a little less than 7 years.
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