Curious_Jack Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 So here we go. Me and my GF of 2 years, 9 months broke up on Saturday, about 5 days ago. Well, over the past couple months there has been some emotional separation between us, my gut was saying something was wrong, that it was no longer working, but I ignored it. Well, when we did break up, because of the past several months of emotional separation between us, and lack of communication, I kind of got used to the idea that it was going to end anyways, and accepted the fact that I was going to find myself single again real soon. Because of that, since the break up, I haven't been that bad. I feel fine actually, which to me is kinda odd, but its true. I feel almost completely fine. I was wondering, I want peoples opinion here, after I wait about a month for things to settle down again, if I am still fine with being single and have no setbacks, would it be to soon to date again? Or just go out and maybe get laid? What would people think about that? What would other women think and feel about that? I am approaching the age, to me at least, where I want to settle down and get married. Would it scare off potential women that I am dating again so soon after a breakup, even if I explain about the separation? I want peoples thoughts on this.
StrongLass Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 So here we go. Me and my GF of 2 years, 9 months broke up on Saturday, about 5 days ago. Well, over the past couple months there has been some emotional separation between us, my gut was saying something was wrong, that it was no longer working, but I ignored it. Well, when we did break up, because of the past several months of emotional separation between us, and lack of communication, I kind of got used to the idea that it was going to end anyways, and accepted the fact that I was going to find myself single again real soon. If you're serious about marrying in the future that isn't the sort of response that you can just let slide in a LTR... you seem so oddly indifferent & removed from this reaction of yours when you should really be examining WHY things got to that point. Did you even love her? Because of that, since the break up, I haven't been that bad. I feel fine actually, which to me is kinda odd, but its true. I feel almost completely fine. I was wondering, I want peoples opinion here, after I wait about a month for things to settle down again, if I am still fine with being single and have no setbacks, would it be to soon to date again? Recommended introspection above aside, only you can decide whether or not you're truly ready. Or just go out and maybe get laid? Assuming you've consented, you have a willing & legal partner, and you are both responsible about STD/birth control...why not? That's YOUR call. What would people think about that? What would other women think and feel about that? Opinions will always vary of course. As a woman personally though I find your attitude about the end of your last relationship more disconcerting than anything. I can't help but think "Would he do that again? Stop caring & just wait for me to end it?" That's me though. Would it scare off potential women that I am dating again so soon after a breakup, even if I explain about the separation? If they're looking for something serious? Yeah it might. Explaining may hurt or help depending on the woman listening, because ultimately they're going to come to whatever conclusion about it that they feel justified.
Author Curious_Jack Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 If you're serious about marrying in the future that isn't the sort of response that you can just let slide in a LTR... you seem so oddly indifferent & removed from this reaction of yours when you should really be examining WHY things got to that point. Did you even love her? I did in fact love, at one point I actually thought we would get married and have kids. But for the past several months she has been pulling away, talking less with me and wanting to do less. She has also been meaner to me, after I have been trying real hard to change my life around and be a more positive person instead of negative. I even tried to be more romantic and surprise her often, which I thought she appreciated. But things kinda came to a head about a month and a half ago when we had sex after 4 months of not having any, and she said she felt nothing, no emotional connection, nothing. She had an orgasm, but she just didn't feel what she called the magic. I think at that point was when I realized it may be over. Opinions will always vary of course. As a woman personally though I find your attitude about the end of your last relationship more disconcerting than anything. I can't help but think "Would he do that again? Stop caring & just wait for me to end it?" That's me though. Its not that I stopped caring, I really tried to keep things going, but after a certain amount of time, and nothing changes, and she openly expresses she is not sure what she wants, if she even wants to get married someday, than I just had to accept the fact it may be over. The end wasn't her ending it either, I brought it up, I asked her about what she wanted in her future, if things can improve between between us or not. We had a long, several hour conversation, and breaking up was what was decided to be best, as she doesn't know what she wants in a relationship, whereas I do. I want to settle down, start a family maybe in a few years, at least before I am 35. She just wasn't sure, she said she doesn't know if she sees herself with me or not.
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 OP - Regarding your question... It is entirely up to what works for you. Some need a fair amount of time, while others need less. It's totally contingent upon you and your own situation... Besides, you will know quickly if you attempt, but are not yet ready.
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