toc200 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 So I am approaching the 5 month post BU mark. I have been doing a lot of looking in myself to see how I have come along. I will try not to ramble much and ask for your thoughts and opinions. -broke up mid February. She initiated but I mostly agreed. -were together for 2.5 years. Lived together for 2 years. I'm now 24, her 22. -she was my first love, she had bfs before not as serious. -I had her move out immediately. -we didn't really talk for the 1st month post BU. both were recognizably distraught. -After one month we started to talk a little, decided to hang as friends and hooked up a couple times. I know, I know but that never really bugged me. It was her texting me later that she wanted to be single and not so in love that bugged me for a while. Next, she moved back home early April, and I went to my hometown too. She texted me off and on; usually it seemed when she had been drinking. Told me she misses me, looks at our photos lots. Then we didn't talk for a while. 2 weeks later we small talk, she out of nowhere tells me that she started to see someone. It hurt. Asked her if she wants us to stop speaking. She said no, I like it, continue. Later that night she texts me that she had loved me so much; that she would have stayed with me but our faults never got a long. Would be so excited to see me. * I must add here that I am unsure if she truly is seeing someone. I have seen no other evidence of it but I do see photos of us together on her FB: kissing, love dove captions, etc. why is she keeping this stuff? This brings me to my deepest regret: I wish I would have behaved different. In many ways I took her for granted. I had never known heartbreak. She had her faults too but because of this I pushed her buttons a bit. I can't get over this feeling of remorse. I really would like to get off this rollercoaster but I feel stuck in limbo. On my highs I feel great, I can go talk to girls. Then I get a low and feel I will never get another shot at this love. Thinking about her out having fun. I haven't hooked up with anyone, I'm not a one night stand kind of guy and when it comes to building a relationship, I just don't feel ready. For those of you who have had a relationship similar in duration and seriousness. How did you feel at this time frame? I'm trying not sulk, I can practically control my highs and lows with thoughts but everyone in a while, a thought pervades and I'm back in the gutter. Your 0.02 much appreciated
eleve82 Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 Tell her how you feel and leave the rest up to her. You cannot push the situation but there's no harm for you to express your feelings about regret - it could also help you move on. She may or may not want to try it again(the other guy she is interested in is irrelevant to be honest, "seeing someone"doesn't necessarily mean its exclusive or a serious bf). Just make sure you don't end up being a third party (ie any reconciliations must be above board) and if she isn't keen on moving on, at least you know you tried.
Philosoraptor Posted July 12, 2013 Posted July 12, 2013 First you need to remove her from facebook, it's doing you no good to see her. Then you need to break contact, not for her... but for you. As it's only hurting you to maintain contact as she clearly has stated she doesn't want anything serious with you. If you want to be "ready" for another relationship you need to take care of yourself so you can heal most efficiently. That begins now with removing her from your life. You did great at the start by moving the breakup along quickly, but sabatoged your own progress by resuming contact when you still had feelings for this person.
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