RogerWallace111 Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 A sense of perspective, please. Imagine sitting down in 40 years talking about your old boyfriends. Or he's talking about old girlfriends. Maybe with your adult children. Maybe with friends. You get to each other. You say about how serious it was and how much you loved each other. Marriage was on the table. They say, what happened? And you say, I got drunk and said his dick was kinda small/she got drunk and said my dick was small. Is that going to sound like a valid reason for the dismantling of your relationship to your audience? It sounds comically petty, to be honest. More to the point, the massive responses and the outraged condemning tone here really reveals the wider zeitgeist of this forum's attendees. A guys dick got called small. It probably is. Big ****ing deal. She's already said she doesn't care. People can get drunk and say far, FAR meaner things that can wound on a much deeper level, deliberately. Newsflash: your dick is probably small. Even if it's massive, you wouldn't be here if that was relevant to your relationships, would you? My dick is distinctly average. It impresses nobody. This doesn't bother me. Being told so doesn't bother me, although I admit that's only happened in private conversation, never at a party. Some serious insecurities, and women who clearly have too much experience of that insecurity, on here, to support the concept as you have all done that this woman has committed an unspeakable crime and her relationship in which she was very invested has ended. I very rarely say this because it's trite, but this calls for it: grow up. Given that the guys feelings are really hurt, it's not comically petty at all. As keeps getting brought up, again consider if he'd said she was the least attractive woman he'd been with. She wouldn't get over it, and when she told her kids in 40 years about it, they'd say "Whoa, that's f*cked up. In front of yourguys' friends ? It's not like you can control the way your face looks." Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Yeah I agree with you actually on ugly being a better analogy than small chested. I can't understand the women who have little problem with what this girl did and are trying to rationalize or explain it away. I mentioned earlier in thread that just as you said, the ultimate source of confidence in a straight guy (not commenting on gay guys bc I'm not) is their package. Not just its size, but how well it works. My dad's a urologist specializing in erectile dysfunction and at least one patient a month will break down and cry. They tell him they feel like less of a man because they can no longer please their wives, and most of them are 50+. If those guys derive confidence from their packages then it's even more so for young guys, especially in this day and age. Yep. It's not as much about the physical fact of the size as it about the ability to please one's partner. Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Serious? 5.9 is avg length and 4.8 average girth according to reputable studies involving professional measurement. I'd say that length below 5.5 or girth below 4.25 could be categorized as small. You are above average. Online statistics blah blah but I'm significantly larger and if I was the OP's boyfriend in this situation, I actually wouldn't be upset at all. No joke. I'd just say hahah I'm definitely bigger than average so it's dirt off my shoulder. Thinking about it more, it's flacid size I feel self-conscious about. My very respectable hard 6.5 can shrink to about cork-length depending on the weather 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JackDrc Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 Given that the guys feelings are really hurt, it's not comically petty at all. As keeps getting brought up, again consider if he'd said she was the least attractive woman he'd been with. She wouldn't get over it, and when she told her kids in 40 years about it, they'd say "Whoa, that's f*cked up. In front of yourguys' friends ? It's not like you can control the way your face looks." Yes, but it would be much worse for the guy to say that because he is a guy. Women are sensitive. So you're a guy and you're acting butthurt? Get over it because women have it worse. Do you agree with this logic? I know you don't and I don't either. Talk about wanting to have their cake and eat it too. I've seen so called enlightened women who despise macho men as unfeeling and uncaring. They wish men were more sensitive. And when they say sensitive, what many of them actually mean is that they want the guy to be more sensitive to their feelings. No sensitivty requred when it comes to male feelings because they are men. And please pick up the check on our date despite me being an empowered woman. Why is it that so many of those who claim to despise male chauvinism display the mirror image of that behavior, the only difference being that this time the emotional abuse is directed at male gender, they undermine the core philosophy of their argument. I'm a true feminist male. Not the kind who excuses the bad behavior of women because if I'm doing that then I'm not being true to my belief that men and women should treat each other with respect. While the original poster's conduct is not illegal, she did give him the functional equivalent of a slap to the face. Most men in Ian's situation would find it easier to get over that, I imagine. I know I would. Striving for equality means that we don't excuse the behavior of people with whom we share sexual chromosomes. The OP's behavior was as bad as everyone is saying it was. If Ian forgives her then they have to forget about it. He can't use it against her later in a fight if they stay together. If he can't handle it then they should break up. Jumping off soapbox now. Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) Threw me off with the initial sarcasm The thing I should clarify is... I'm saying all this as someone who thinks everyone should, ideally, come to terms with & accept exactly who they are (as far as the things they can't change). Penis size included. It is what it is. But that doesn't mean they will fully come to terms with it, regardless of how hard they try. If you tell a guy his dick is "big enough", or tell a woman she's pretty, does that mean they're not going to have moments of self-doubt ever again ? No matter how much a person accepts a reality, they still have the capacity to feel it's sting. You can accept your wife leaving you to the utmost possible point, but it doesn't mean you won't have sad thoughts over it sometimes. Edited July 12, 2013 by RogerWallace111 Link to post Share on other sites
Xinreeki Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) You have to truly love yourself for who you are, before the hurtful things others say about you, will be completely stripped of their power over your emotions. Of course, in reality everyone has insecurities to one degree or another, but ultimately, you can only control your OWN actions and reactions. Still, I think the OP has seriously hurt her bf with her actions and words. Whether he is able to forgive you or not OP, is completely up to him now. All you can really do is apologize best you can and give him time to think about things. Edited July 12, 2013 by Xinreeki Link to post Share on other sites
JackDrc Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 I just realized that white is apparently a male poster and not a female. That's even more upsetting. If we have men willing to excuse this type of behavior and minimize its impact, I think there is little hope for the species. The only differences between men and women will be anatomical and cellular in nature. Hey white, When you read this thread and see that you're basically excusing the behavior and that this kind of comment wouldn't bother you, I question your manhood. Not your physical manhood, but your emotional manhood.If you are willing to be a vicarious doormat then that's incredibly disappointing. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Red, giving a great BJ and telling him how much you love it will not fix anything. He feels hurt, because of standards imposed my society which affects his self esteem. She never purposefully said that he was better or worse than any other man. She perhaps was saying that she loved him, despite the fact that he is smaller (since in society, the smaller penis is considered less noble as a lover) I would rather a man love me than my tits...my tits will get saggy, but love lasts far longer. Her friends were simply making conversation, that doesn't mean they aren't good friends. If he feels humiliated then perhaps the size of his penis is HIS problem, not hers. Her alcohol use is her business... has no bearing on what transpired. I disagree with you on many areas here... - if my 'friends' idea of making conversation were to compare body parts of people they supposedly cared about, they wouldn't be friends of mine anymore. - Everybody has something they are sensitive about. What the OP did was thoughtless and cruel... mostly because of the trust they supposedly shared. That is not love... and this is not about the size of his penis in the big scheme of things. - her use of alcohol becomes his business when making decisions about whom to marry and when her use of it affects him personally... like it has. and, TBH, I've found that there are few disagreements that an awesome BJ can't fix. Well, so far... ;p 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Yep. It's not as much about the physical fact of the size as it about the ability to please one's partner. Seriously, out of all the men she's been with the OP chose her current partner as the one she wanted to marry. I think that says something about his ability to please her, over the other men she has been with. Maybe she is inwardly delighted that she found a man who doesn't hurt her when he enters. And it was smallest she has been with. A woman would have the same answer only being with 3 guys and the other 2 were 9". Men need to get over this 'bigger is always better' thing, and realise different women have a different 'optimum' size requirement. As for the public party situation, that was unfortunate, but she can't go back and change that now. So rather than beat up the girl who was already remorseful and beating herself up before she arrived at LS, maybe focusing on damage control would make a more effective thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Seriously, out of all the men she's been with the OP chose her current partner as the one she wanted to marry. I think that says something about his ability to please her She banged all the guys with big dicks and now she's marrying the guy with the biggest wallet. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JackDrc Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) and, TBH, I've found that there are few disagreements that an awesome BJ can't fix. Well, so far... ;p If you have a significant other, you could test this theory with more data. Do what the OP did and see if oral sex makes up for the pain in his heart. If I was Ian and I decided to stay with her I would demand a ménage a trois by bringing another girl in, with no reciprocation on my part with another event later. This way I could prove to myself that I am able to satisfy two women simultaneously, which should overcome what the OP did in his eyes. And in return Ian I would never use her comment against her again If OP loves Ian (he's her fiancé after all), she should be willing to do this. She made his confidence issues HER problem when she opened her mouth and now it is it her job to fix them. Edited July 12, 2013 by JackDrc Link to post Share on other sites
shexy Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 She banged all the guys with big dicks and now she's marrying the guy with the biggest wallet. Ok, now THAT was funny Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 and, TBH, I've found that there are few disagreements that an awesome BJ can't fix. Well, so far... ;p Oh there are several. But we men will still take the BJs knowing that we're going to break up with you later. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Well, youre in a pickle about a little pickle...you need to: 1. Apologize for hurting his pride. 2. Apologize for taking him down in public. 3. Help him regain face with his friends. You must spread the word that you were not serious, or you were pissed at him. 4. Beg his forgiveness. You must tell him that he's the best sex you have ever had, hands down. Tell his friends that Link to post Share on other sites
JackDrc Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Oh there are several. But we men will still take the BJs knowing that we're going to break up with you later. And she would deserve it too, sadly. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 If you have a significant other, you could test this theory with more data. Do what the OP did and see if oral sex makes up for the pain in his heart. If I was Ian and I decided to stay with her I would demand a ménage a trois by bringing another girl in, with no reciprocation on my part with another event later. This way I could prove to myself that I am able to satisfy two women simultaneously, which should overcome what the OP did in his eyes. And in return Ian I would never use her comment against her again . Is this your for real proposed solution? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Well yeah it is kinda true that he's on the small side but it doesn't matter to me and I really mean that. If it was a big deal to me I would not be engaged to him. I know guys are really sensitive about stuff like this. I just don't want to lose him over something incredibly stupid that I said in all of thre seconds at the party. He's a really smart guy so I know he's going to ask me all sorts of questions and I don't know if I should be honest or fib or what. And ofcourse his real name is not Ian!! What did you expect mer to do? Give his real name? I know I was stupid at the party but I'm not that stupid Guy can't really help what he's born with, no more than a woman can. Only difference is women can get implants (even though most people find them, well, fake). I like nice sized breasts, but they don't make a woman. I wouldn't turn a cute, smart, witty lady if she had a smaller chest. Link to post Share on other sites
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Well, youre in a pickle about a little pickle...you need to: 1. Apologize for hurting his pride. 2. Apologize for taking him down in public. 3. Help him regain face with his friends. You must spread the word that you were not serious, or you were pissed at him. 4. Beg his forgiveness. You must tell him that he's the best sex you have ever had, hands down. Tell his friends that It's not even so much hurting pride. The fact that one would say something like that in-front of other people is bogus. Time to put the drink down I think. Link to post Share on other sites
JackDrc Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Is this your for real proposed solution? Are you saying you disagree with it? What is wrong with it? She destroyed his manhood. He may have psychological erectile dysfunction with her as a result. What guy would be eager to stick his penis in a significant other knowing she had mocked him for its size? If that were me, I might have trouble getting up. He could regain his manhood by satisfying two at once. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Man some of you guys are so sensitive. I thought women were supposed to be the sensitive gender. Link to post Share on other sites
Avulare Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) Wow... Tonight on LoveShack I learned that a man's penis is apparently the most important aspect of a long-term relationship between a man and a woman. Comparing penis size to a woman's appearance is fallacious; men tend to value attractiveness in women more than women value big dicks on men. There really isn't anything in the opposite gender you can compare it to, there is no part of a woman's body that she mysteriously values above everything else in life (so it seems from reading some of the posts about men's penises on here) that the man actually doesn't care too much about. The OP estimated her man's penis to be approximately 4-5" long (I'll just say 4.5" for the sake of argument)... Given that the average penis length is something like 5.5", the dude's penis is probably well within one standard deviation of the mean and can therefore be considered to be a normal penis. What the OP did was tasteless, sure, but if the guy is going to be indefinitely butthurt about it and drag his bruised ego to some secluded cave and hide there for the rest of his life, that's his own problem. It would be ridiculous for him to end a relationship because of a drunken comment his SO made about something that she probably never even thinks or cares about. Good grief, she didn't even know how big it was, it's obviously not a pressing issue in their relationship. Edited July 12, 2013 by Avulare Link to post Share on other sites
Vials Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Small dick =/= bad lover. Societies like ours like to make up these stupid misconceptions. If Ian was really that bad of a lover, the OP would not be engaged to him. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Wow... Tonight on LoveShack I learned that a man's penis is apparently the most important aspect of a long-term relationship between a man and a woman. No, the most important aspect of a long-term relationship is trust, and the OP ruined that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Well Our O.P. has not checked in so either she decided that all of us were way too harsh or the S.S. Real Love hit an iceberg Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 This thread is awesome Link to post Share on other sites
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