ChessPieceFace Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I agree with Stiletto_Heels... do not confirm that this is true. Try and pass it off as you just trying to be funny and you realized your mistake the instant it came out. If/when he asks, tell him it's not true. And I hope you're convincing. If you try to avoid answering, he'll know. I hope it works out for the best. Yeah, compound this assault on his manhood with lies, that's totally the answer. 4
shexy Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Yeah, I really hate to say this, but lying to him after the fact is lame. "Gee, sweetums, I didn't mean it when I said you have the smallest dick ever. I was just kidding you. The guy I dated before you REALLY had the smallest dick ever. Yours is gigantic compared to his. It feels like you're going to split me in half baby!" See how ridiculous that sounds? 2
salparadise Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Yes, I do understand and respect your perspective. I thought about it quite a bit and I just don't think in this case that being brutally honest is the right thing to do.
ChessPieceFace Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 She already was brutally honest, she brutalized his manhood and her relationship. What are lies going to do now except make things worse. Does no one have any shred of decency, anywhere? He's going to be humiliated every time he sees any of the people she told. Or anyone they told. That's even ignoring the ED he'll probably have with her now from the humiliation of knowing he's the smallest she's been with and she had the gall to broadcast it to the world. She literally damaged his entire life with this comment. It should not be forgiven. 4
bubbaganoosh Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Tell you how he feels. Put the shoe on the other foot for a second. Say your at a party and "Ian's" talking with a bunch of people and the topic comes up about the women's private area and someone asks about the real tight ones and someone asks "Ian" if he was with a woman who was loose and not tight down there and he said in front of everyone "My fiancé", then says "Aw honey, I was just kidding. How would you like it? Think it would be funny? It's not about if the guy is 4 inches or 12, it's called respect. He's your fiancé and you not only disrespected him, you humiliated him and took away his dignity. I wish you luck. By the way, if you can't handle your booze, then stick with ginger ale. 5
Titania22 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Well yeah it is kinda true that he's on the small side but it doesn't matter to me and I really mean that. If it was a big deal to me I would not be engaged to him. I know guys are really sensitive about stuff like this. I just don't want to lose him over something incredibly stupid that I said in all of thre seconds at the party. He's a really smart guy so I know he's going to ask me all sorts of questions and I don't know if I should be honest or fib or what. And ofcourse his real name is not Ian!! What did you expect mer to do? Give his real name? I know I was stupid at the party but I'm not that stupid Tell him he's the perfect size for you, and you wouldn't have gotten engaged to him if he wasn't. Fact is: Men and Women come in different sizes, and it's about finding the perfect fit, rather than finding the "biggest" one you can.
BeholdtheMan Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I didn’tthink before I opened my mouth because I answered my fiancé. Well Ian gave me a stunned and shocked look.I recovered and said I was kidding but I think the damage was done. The friendsin our group sort of acted sobered upand left the group.You literally disrespected his manhood in front of other people. You're right. The damage is done. Be as apologetic and contrite as possible. Whether or not he wants to forgive you is really up to him now. There's not much you can do.
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 If he has ounce of self-esteem, he'll dump you. You slandered him in arguably the worst possible way. The male equivalent would be him blabbing to his group that your t*ts are the smallest of everyone he's been with. Consider yourself extremely lucky if he doesn't break up with you. I sure would. 2
bluegreen Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I honestly would be surprised if he stays with you after this you could have insulted his car toy figure's collection or even mommie dear but his manhood? O girl for the rest of your life another drop of alcohol should not pass your lips And worse that is really your opinion and he knows it. I honestly don't think there is saving this car wreck 1
Eggplant Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 In addition to staying away from alcohol, avoid discussing sensitive topics altogether. Don't talk about your sex life in public. 2
Keenly Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Sounds to me like the damage is already done. If I was this guy, I would not be able to have as much respect for you anymore. You have made a couple things perfectly clear. You are unsatisfied sexually. You tell his personal business to other people, in FRONT of him. It also shows a lack of respect for him on your part. Don't use the alcohol as an excuse... We don't do anything drunk that we are not capable of sober. 8
bluegreen Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I know who does this talk much less brag and make jokes about most private personal part of life in public or with other people? I once read conversation that an ex was having with friends about being with some girl and I was disgusted from that moment on for whole duration of us being together. This is just not done 1
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 This is also an example of why you don't mention any aspect of your sex life with even your best friend. These things leak out. And he technically could sue you for slander. There's certainly witnesses.
RedRobin Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 First... address the fact that you publicly humiliated him... Second... address the fact that you have incredibly tacky friends who would even ask such a thing in mixed company. Third... address your problems managing alcohol. Third... do NOT compare him to other men and do not lie. Period. If he insists on knowing how his compares... Tell him all the things you love about his body... and love about his penis... every detail of it... Then give him the best BJ and sex ever to show just how much you love it and him.... 3
bluegreen Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Poor Guy just imagine how humiliated he must have been at that moment 1
sweetheart5381 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Ya, listen up all. OP messed up and said something she should not have said. We can all understand that part and we all know why too. We have all done things that we regret... EVERYONE screws **** up from time to time. I don't hate her, in fact I like her cuz she has talked openly about her fears, etc. She F'd up and admitted it. If her man loves her, he will listen to her and understand her. It may take a little while, but it will be understood. A true, loving relationship doesn't end over this sort of crap.... that's what old R veterans call an "argument". You get mad as hell, you vent it, you talk together and you solve it. If you value the relationship more than your own ego/self, then you solve it and move on. Doesn't sound like penis size is the real issue here, just sayin 1
RedRobin Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Poor Guy just imagine how humiliated he must have been at that moment I dunno. I'm sure he has some idea he's not Phallus, the Love God, or whatever. Probably he is more surprised and hurt that someone who he thought loved him and whom he trusted betrayed him like that. 1
KungFuJoe Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I could set the world straight if anyone ever listened to me. I don't coddle poor behavior. Publicly outing a guy for a small penis is definitely in the top 5 worst things a woman can do short of criminal action. She utterly humiliated him. I guarantee guys have committed suicide over what she did. How can she repair it? She can't. Like cheating, some things aren't fixable and shouldn't be. This isn't fixable. Their relationship can never be what it was before. She did something stupid, that's for sure. But you make it sound like she just raped a baby. 3
bluegreen Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Hold on a sec do you really think she is only one this forum was hard on ? Are you kidding me we are not here to kiss each other b...ts but to provide real clear genuine advice to those who seek it. She destroyed this guy's confidence and one they had in relationship she publicly humiliated him she caused and will cause loss of friends and vicious amount of ridicule and gossip to follow him around for who knows how long. And I can go on and on and all because she had one excuse I was drunk? What if he was drunk and started talking about her cellulite saggy breast wide thighs or dandruff and how his ex size 2 had non of these issues she would have killed him just as any girl would after of course she kicked his ass to the curb. Don't make us issue here if she came and ask for it said she could handle it being honest we she should be able to handle us being honest to 1
sweetheart5381 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 First... address the fact that you publicly humiliated him... Second... address the fact that you have incredibly tacky friends who would even ask such a thing in mixed company. Third... address your problems managing alcohol. Third... do NOT compare him to other men and do not lie. Period. If he insists on knowing how his compares... Tell him all the things you love about his body... and love about his penis... every detail of it... Then give him the best BJ and sex ever to show just how much you love it and him.... Red, giving a great BJ and telling him how much you love it will not fix anything. He feels hurt, because of standards imposed my society which affects his self esteem. She never purposefully said that he was better or worse than any other man. She perhaps was saying that she loved him, despite the fact that he is smaller (since in society, the smaller penis is considered less noble as a lover) I would rather a man love me than my tits...my tits will get saggy, but love lasts far longer. Her friends were simply making conversation, that doesn't mean they aren't good friends. If he feels humiliated then perhaps the size of his penis is HIS problem, not hers. Her alcohol use is her business... has no bearing on what transpired.
Space Ritual Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Wow, quite a conundrum...... O.P. although he may stay with you I don't think I need to remind you that us men have way more fragile egos than we would ever let on. Saying what you did will probably cause a lot of embarrassment for your fiance down the road, being you did this in a public setting I am sure everyone at the party that was not present immediately heard about it within about 2 minutes. So from now every time he sees somebody that was in that group or even at that party he is going to be wondering if mutual friends are smirking or whispering "Pin Dick" behind his back when he walks by. Generally people are pretty brutal when it comes to that stuff. The damage has been done. He may forgive you, he may not...but I guarantee if he says he does he will have that in the back of his mind every time you two are intimate now so be very prepared to suffer more collateral damage to your relationship. You can't "Un-say" something at this stage and sadly this will probably make him think you are looking for someone who may have a larger appendage. So the fallout from this may not be immediate, but it will affect your relationship with your fiance for the forseeable future Good Luck but do not be surprised if your engagement becomes short lived. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Wow, quite a conundrum...... O.P. although he may stay with you I don't think I need to remind you that us men have way more fragile egos than we would ever let on. Saying what you did will probably cause a lot of embarrassment for your fiance down the road, being you did this in a public setting I am sure everyone at the party that was not present immediately heard about it within about 2 minutes. So from now every time he sees somebody that was in that group or even at that party he is going to be wondering if mutual friends are smirking or whispering "Pin Dick" behind his back when he walks by. Generally people are pretty brutal when it comes to that stuff. The damage has been done. He may forgive you, he may not...but I guarantee if he says he does he will have that in the back of his mind every time you two are intimate now so be very prepared to suffer more collateral damage to your relationship. You can't "Un-say" something at this stage and sadly this will probably make him think you are looking for someone who may have a larger appendage. So the fallout from this may not be immediate, but it will affect your relationship with your fiance for the forseeable future Good Luck but do not be surprised if your engagement becomes short lived. I hear ya bout the dick size stuff, but if they truly love each other then it wont matter. Real love is so deep, you never wanna marry without it, and the size of a dick, tits, etc wont make a damn difference so long as you turn each other on and pleasure one another. My man may have a big dick, but its his love that I want most of all. I can get a king kong dildo for the other stuff
Space Ritual Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I would be willing to bet that Real Love ship sailed for parts unknown about the time he left the voicemail saying he was staying at his friend's house... 4
BradJacobs Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I hear ya bout the dick size stuff, but if they truly love each other then it wont matter. Real love is so deep, you never wanna marry without it, and the size of a dick, tits, etc wont make a damn difference so long as you turn each other on and pleasure one another. My man may have a big dick, but its his love that I want most of all. I can get a king kong dildo for the other stuff His version of "real love" may not include public humiliation. 1
kaylan Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Wow, telling a guy his junk is small, is like basically calling him a bad lay. Itd be no different than me telling a girl she was sucked at oral or top of being a boring lay. I dont know if one can recover from this. Once you burn someone like this, its hard for them to feel that your ever satisfied with them in the future. Its one thing to politely bring sex topics up between the two of you...but its a whole new ball game when you do it drunkenly in front of other people. 1
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