kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 This is LONG(You need the details). plus awful grammar hehe I've known him for 4 years and everyone knows him as the smart, shy guy in the university. but 2 years later he kinda changed. I mean he's no longer shy...he flirts with girls when he has the chance and that's when I no longer like him haha turned off. When I first met him 4 years ago, I was instantly attracted...I like smart, shy-type guys...Well I always catch him glancing at me and that's it, nothing else. He tried talking to me but never tried flirting with me until we got the chance to work together on something for half of the semester. I know when he flirts with other girls...it's terrible...it's kinda disturbing lol. That's not the guy he used to be. Anyways, he started flirting with me but no, just no...I frankly told him to stop...like every day. But months went on he kept going and the flirting has become decent...plus he's befriending my friends...and he started saying to me that he likes me(he never told that to my friends but when they are around, he's just giving them hints that he likes me...he can't even talk straight). Well I'm not an easy person so I started asking him tricky questions. I remember always asking him why he has changed coz he's not like that years ago...well I dont get an answer actually...he just looks down when I pop up that question. One day, my question has gone to a point it got personal lol...and I will not mention it here...but that question has lead into an emotional conversation with him. He didn't want to tell me at first but I was insisting him to tell me all about it(I'm kinda cruel haha) and I learned that he had a bad relationship and everything fell apart...he convinced himself that he will change(And that's the change I have witnessed) blah blah blah and it's now hard for him to trust people and fall again. And he said if one day he'll love again, he'll be cautious. After that long convo, we said goodbye to each other and the next day he became comfortable chatting with me...like we're good friends lol. 7 months have passed and we still managed to talk to each other even we can't see each other coz of summer vacation. He continued flirting with me online as usual but he became sweeter. No more nasty jokes lol. The school was about to start and of course we need to enroll blah blah blah pass some papers and requirements blah blah blah. Well, everytime he had plans of visiting the school before the enrollment period, he was always texting me a week ahead that he'll be at school that particular day and hope he'll see me...I just say "maybe he'll see me". Well that 1st time, me and my friend had to finish something at school so no matter what I do, this guy will see me...and yeah he did haha. Small chat and that's it...I don't like him anyway haha. Then there's the second time when he texted me again a week ahead coz he was going to pass something at school...I replied that for sure he's going to see me coz I'll be at school the whole day. Well the day came...I wasn't able to get up early and woke up at noon. I received a text from him saying that he didn't see me and he's going to come to school again that afternoon just for me as he already passed his requirements that morning. Well I don't believe he'll do that anyway haha why waste time on me? Apparently I went to school that afternoon and I was a bit scared(well just shy) that he'll see me so I stayed in a different building for 2 hours and went to main building to catch up with my friend. Stayed there for 3 hrs. Well I did not him there so I was happy lol. Well that night, I was chatting with my other friend...talked about how boring and cold that day was. then my friend jokingly said "you were cold? well you should have came up to <insert_the_guy's_name_here> so he'll give you a warm hug haha "...and in my head I was like what?? for real?? he came back?? O_O I felt really bad for his effort haha. Well he didn't text me and I had no plans on texting him about it. 3 days later, he started to chat with me again online saying wuts up blah blah and then I said I didn't see him that day...he said "I was there morning and early afternoon...you weren't there." then I said that I was there that afternoon but didn't see him...then he replied "well, you missed me." then logged off. We continued chatting days later...and that's when I started liking him again after the first time I had a crush on him years ago. Lol. I'm still not sure if he's a player or not as he continues his flirty cheesy jokes. I don't wanna fall for him that's why the day came when I didnt reply to his messages and then he asked why. I told him that he should stop talking to me and I should stop giving him any attention as I might like him again. That's when he knew I used to like him haha. Then he said that isnt it a good thing if he continues talking to me I'll like him and we will both like each other? And blah blah blah. Well I already like him. I gave him hints but he never asked me out!! WHy!??! 2 weeks ago he told me that he wants me to be his girlfriend as he thinks thats the only missing part between us...but I said why? since he never made a move. Well he replied that he will not make a move...with a question mark lol what hahahaha. Then I didnt reply. Then he continued that he will stop talking to me for the mean time as I might being pressured and even told me not to rush things...then logged off with a smiley lol. we didnt have any conversation for a week until yesterday. Yesterday while I was at class, he texted me if I'm at school and if I want to join him giving chess tryouts later that day...well I agreed...so we met...had a little talk...I was the awkward one...lol but damn...he still not asking me out... I dont wanna waste my time playing his game...well if he's even playing a game... so is he playing a game on me or he's just shy to ask me out? -_- and not long ago I admitted that I like him...
Keenly Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 So you have liked this guy for years, but you never once asked him out. Wheres the logic? Are you going to just wait around and do nothing every time you like a guy just because you are female ? I mean you are here telling us all about how hr has not made the effort to ask you out, but you are guilty of the same thing . 2
RogerWallace111 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Some game-playing on both ends but I agree with the above post ^ 1
Author kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 So you have liked this guy for years, but you never once asked him out. Wheres the logic? Are you going to just wait around and do nothing every time you like a guy just because you are female ? I mean you are here telling us all about how hr has not made the effort to ask you out, but you are guilty of the same thing . I'm shy -_- the other day when he was talking to me I stuttered when I replied... it was embarrassing -_- he just laughed it off
Author kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Some game-playing on both ends but I agree with the above post ^ could you please specify-the game-playing? haha xD
Southern Cal Dude Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I'm shy -_- the other day when he was talking to me I stuttered when I replied... it was embarrassing -_- he just laughed it off So it's ok for you to be shy, but not him?
Taramere Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 2 weeks ago he told me that he wants me to be his girlfriend as he thinks thats the only missing part between us...but I said why? since he never made a move. If you like this guy and you want things to go somewhere with him, then that's a fairly silly response on your part. I mean yes, coming out with the "will you be my girlfriend?" comment when he hasn't made a move might be a little odd, but at least he's trying to take things forward - and in response, you're making him look/feel foolish. we didnt have any conversation for a week until yesterday. Yesterday while I was at class, he texted me if I'm at school and if I want to join him giving chess tryouts later that day...well I agreed...so we met...had a little talk...I was the awkward one...lol but damn...he still not asking me out... I'm not surprised, really. There seems to be some part of you that enjoys making him feel awkward whenever he tries to crack onto you. I dont wanna waste my time playing his game...well if he's even playing a game... Nothing you've said here indicates anything other than a guy who likes you, but is perhaps a bit young and inexperienced, struggling to take things forward and getting treated like a bit of an idiot by you every time he tries. Look at this for an example... everytime he had plans of visiting the school before the enrolment period, he was always texting me a week ahead that he'll be at school that particular day and hope he'll see me...I just say "maybe he'll see me". You're the one playing games here. If that's working in keeping his interest then fine - but own it, and stop projecting the game playing onto him when he's he's made several efforts to take things forward with you. 6
white Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I think both you and he are shy and you're both busy ****ing it up with years of obfuscation and confusion rather than growing a pair of balls and going about it sensibly. 2
Author kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 he's actually older than me... but yeah I kinda get your point haha...I mean maybe he also thinks Im the one playing coz when he asked me to be his gf and me replying why, he said "so what's this? Just a tutorial?" O_O I'm not playing games...or maybe I am...I'm just skeptical...I dont wanna end up getting hurt... ok, I chatted with him last nyt and his replies were cold...end of convo...if I'm the one who will make the move, HOW? any tips? he's older than me so I dont even know how the hell should i act... -_-
Treasa Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Forget him and find someone emotionally available who has the nutsack to tell you how he feels.
Author kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Forget him and find someone emotionally available who has the nutsack to tell you how he feels. He actually told me he likes me...and I'm not even sure if he's just tellin me that as a joke...
Taramere Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 so you think he's shy? Yes, I think he's shy - but making the effort in the best way he knows how, and that you should also put forth some effort here instead of leaving all the risk-taking and shouldering of the embarrassment burden up to him.
Author kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 So it's ok for you to be shy, but not him? well the problem here is...he used to flirt with just about every girl...so I'm not sure if he is for real or not
Author kjill Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Yes, I think he's shy - but making the effort in the best way he knows how, and that you should also put forth some effort here instead of leaving all the risk-taking and shouldering of the embarrassment burden up to him. so what should I do? It's hard for me as well coz I don't really talk to people and people tends to get intimidated with me coz I look snobbish. Btw, how to flirt back nicely? I mean I know how to flirt through written communication but in reality I can't...I just stutter...sometimes I simply don't reply or just smile. And when he flirts with me like touching blah blah blah...I dont play along...I kinda sound harsh...like kinda mad...and everytime I do that his face looks kinda sad o.O I dont know how to deal with this too...
todreaminblue Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 He actually told me he likes me...and I'm not even sure if he's just tellin me that as a joke... if he has told you already he likes you, tell him you also like him and then set a real date........it sucks to be shy.......for men and for women....always worrying ......swallow the worry you feel about if he is a player or not and take his comment about liking you as serious and make a serious move back...just be honest .....open the conversation by letting him know how you feel see where it goes.....i wish you much luck.............deb 1
Author kjill Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) how to interact with him without sounding desperate? Edited July 11, 2013 by kjill
Recommended Posts