dreaming4ever Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 My bf and I just got into this big discussion tonight about girls and guys. I said that I wish I had a girl that was a close friend because I need someone to talk to sometimes about things.....and yes my bf is my best friend and I tell him lots but I think girls can just relate to girls so much better than with guys. I was saying girls and guys even THINK differently and that's proven....but he totally wouldn't believe me. Because there's some things I might want to talk about that I know he wouldn't be interested in because he's a guy....whereas with a girl I could sit talking for hours about that topic. I was so frustrated because he says that girls and guys can relate to each other just as well as girls and girls or guys with guys. And that is so obviously NOT TRUE! I mean, I know my bf really well but I don't think I could ever know him as well as I know a girl because the sexes are so different. Like take emotions for instance....girls can be emotional with each other and UNDERSTAND what it's like when a girl feels emotional whereas guys are conditioned to NOT be like that so sometimes that makes them feel weird if a girl is emotional.....do you get what I'm saying? So my question to you guys is....do you agree with me that girls can relate way better with girls and guys with guys or do you think the gender doesn't matter at all?
GuyMontag Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 In a sense, you are both right. If there are ways that you can not relate to guys (such as emotions) then you probably are correct that on that particular aspect a girl would be better suited to you. However, I know girls that feel that they can relate to guys on the levels that you are talking about and guys that can relate to girls on subjects generally considered to be guy-guy territory. I believe it all depends upon on the person. I have a pretty good emotional I.Q. and can relate to some of those qualities often described as feminine (so can have pretty good female-friend relationships). My G/F can relate to "guy-logic" (trademark pending, lol) so she has good guy-friend relationships. Thank for the good topic.
Author dreaming4ever Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 GuyMontag, I can see what you're saying....but I think it's rare that a girl can totally get guy-logic as you call it and also rare for a guy to high emotional I.Q. I try to understand my bf as much as possible but sometimes I just don't. I would do anything in my power to change that too but sometimes I just want to scream. While I don't believe everything in the book, I think the guy who wrote the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" made a lot of sense....because guys and girls tend to react differently in patterns to different situations. Like the whole cave issue...when guys go into their cave sometimes and just don't want to talk....haha in fact my boyfriend was like that tonight. When I say things like that my bf says i'm generalizing but in fact it's true..... Like for an example....i can sit and chat with a girlfriend for a LONG time, just talking back and forth and laughing and such....and my bf will watch this and be like "OMG you guys talk a lot!"....girls are just like that sometimes. Whereas most guys don't talk NEAR as much.... Girls can also relate better to girls in hormonal situations....because we KNOW what it feels like at our time of the month...whereas guys can't "get" that and that's because if you are the same gender as someone else you automatically have things in common before you even get to know them. That's not to say all girls will get along with all girls because they are both female, but I think they have better chances of doing so than with guys. I understand that people will disagree with this and that's ok....like I know there's girls out there that have a group of guy friends they hang out with all the time and that they get along with really well....but i honestly think they are exceptions to the rule. Part of it even involves the fact that girls and guys tend to like different things like shopping vs. watching a football game....it just makes SENSE girls would understand and relate better to other females!!
Merin Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Well.. I find that most of my closest friends are guys.. not that I've set about for it to work out that way, just sort of has. While I love my girlfriends and am able to talk with them about things I know some of my guy friends would not be all about LOL I also respect and seek my guy friends opinions on things that sometimes I think my girlfriends would be to afraid to tell me straight up. It's funny because I find my guy friends will commiserate with me however be more direct in telling me when I'm full of s*** where as my girlfriends will also commiserate with me, and tend to tell me the person in question (usually my bf ha!) is full of s*** even if it is probably ME who has the issue, know what I'm saying? So.. thats my two cents
Author dreaming4ever Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 Isn't there any women out there that get what I'm saying? A few months ago, I started talking to a girl on this site and well, being women we had stuff in common. However, oddly enough we found out later we had a TON more in common than we originally thought. So we started emailing each other mile long emails telling each other about our lives and how we felt about certain topics and stuff like that. It was incredible. Now she's a really close friend of mine and we talk all the time (except right now she's away ).....I just KNOW that that couldn't have connected with a guy that way because the ways girls and girls relate to each other is different than we do with guys.....do you see what I'm saying? It's just how the world works.
LaShawn Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I don't think it is how the world works. I think it completely depends on the person. Yes many women need a female to confide in. I personally usually have more to talk about and have more in common with guys. I have never since the age of 5 had very many female friends. I don't know why, I just don't seem to get along as well with women. That is the way MY world works.
whichwayisup Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I find sometimes it is easier to be friends with guys. More laid back and no bullcrap! What you see is what you get. Short, sweet and to the point! The laughing and sillyness is alot of fun too! I know I have a real sick sense of humour and I used to work with just guys at my old job. I have alot of close girlfriends though, and it is definately different. Both are good and I enjoy both kinds of friendships!
Adunaphel Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I relate to people who have a mindset similar to mine, regardless of what sex they are. The only exception is when I'm discussing love/relationship topics - I relate more to girls.
Jilly10340 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I relate better to guys. It seems every girl friend I've ever had has stabbed me in the back in one way or the other. I've never had that experience with guys.
Amethyst Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 I agree with most of the others. Sure, there are times when you just need "girl talk" so you can talk about things that you can't discuss with most guys; but, I still think girls and guys can relate to each other quite well (though it *does* depend on the individuals involved). I have TONS of guy friends, but I only have a few girl friends. I get along better with guys and find they aren't as 'catty' as many females can be. That doesn't mean you're wrong in the way you relate. It just means that while *you* may not be able to relate well to guys, there are plenty of ladies that can (and vice-versa). This isn't a topic you can generalize, because it's specific to the individual.
Author dreaming4ever Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 I knew there would be girls who would respond to this thread of mine saying that THEY personally get along with guys better and have always been like that. I'm just saying I think YOU girls are the exception!! Yes, girls sometimes enjoy relating to men better because they are not catty but the fact is that GIRLS can relate better to GIRLS because they think similarly and have a lot of common interests. I'm not saying ALL just MOST.....you've gotta agree with me on that, even if you YOURSELF don't fit into this rule...
blind_otter Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Originally posted by dreaming4ever My bf and I just got into this big discussion tonight about girls and guys. I said that I wish I had a girl that was a close friend because I need someone to talk to sometimes about things.....and yes my bf is my best friend and I tell him lots but I think girls can just relate to girls so much better than with guys. I was saying girls and guys even THINK differently and that's proven....but he totally wouldn't believe me. Because there's some things I might want to talk about that I know he wouldn't be interested in because he's a guy....whereas with a girl I could sit talking for hours about that topic. I was so frustrated because he says that girls and guys can relate to each other just as well as girls and girls or guys with guys. And that is so obviously NOT TRUE! I mean, I know my bf really well but I don't think I could ever know him as well as I know a girl because the sexes are so different. Like take emotions for instance....girls can be emotional with each other and UNDERSTAND what it's like when a girl feels emotional whereas guys are conditioned to NOT be like that so sometimes that makes them feel weird if a girl is emotional.....do you get what I'm saying? So my question to you guys is....do you agree with me that girls can relate way better with girls and guys with guys or do you think the gender doesn't matter at all? All of my bestfriends have been guys, and not the guy I am seeing. Even most of my female friends are lesbians. There are definately things I don't like discussing with a significant other that I need to talk to my friends about. I don't relate to women very well at all, except my older sister, we talk about everything, but she has mostly male friends, too! It's a personal thing, but I am a female that can't relate to other women. I have mommy issues. I have never had the experience of being friendly with another woman and becoming great friends. They always end up f*cking me over.
Author dreaming4ever Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 blind_otter, once again you are an exception to the rule!
Amethyst Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Originally posted by dreaming4ever I'm not saying ALL just MOST.....you've gotta agree with me on that, even if you YOURSELF don't fit into this rule... Actually, no I don't. Most of the girls I know have more guy friends than girl friends, and several of my guy friends have more girl friends than guy friends. I find it odd that even though pretty much EVERYONE here has taken the position this same position, you say WE are the exceptions to the rule. Isn't the more likely thought to be that YOU are the exception since YOU are in the minority?
Author dreaming4ever Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 So you're going by the fact that a lot of YOUR friends and some other people you know are more easily friends with guys then YOU are right? So what makes you saying that from experience conclude that you are right when i'm saying this from MY experience?
Amethyst Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Originally posted by dreaming4ever So you're going by the fact that a lot of YOUR friends and some other people you know are more easily friends with guys then YOU are right? So what makes you saying that from experience conclude that you are right when i'm saying this from MY experience? That's just it. You are NOT saying this is from YOUR experience...you're saying "this is the way the world works". As I said, I'm not saying there is something wrong with the way you relate. I'm simply saying that you CANNOT say *most* people agree with you because we don't. You don't relate as well to guys as you do to girls. That's fine and dandy. But, don't try to say the rest of the world feels that way and those of us who don't are just "exceptions" to the rule. You can see by this thread that there are a lot more "exceptions" to *your* rule than there are people who follow it. Edit: And, BTW, I didn't say girls I know related better to guys than I do. I said that most of the girls I knew relate better to *guys* than *girls*.
honey2005 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Which sex do you relate to better Girls, definitely
honey2005 Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Isn't the more likely thought to be that YOU are the exception since YOU are in the minority? I've read that most guys and girls relate better to girls, especially when they're having a serious problem that they need to talk about.
Amethyst Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 Originally posted by honey2005 I've read that most guys and girls relate better to girls, especially when they're having a serious problem that they need to talk about. Hehehe...that brings up a whole different "rule", doesn't it. I love analyzing the way the human psyche works.
Author dreaming4ever Posted October 23, 2004 Author Posted October 23, 2004 I don't want to get in an argument about this or anything...but the fact that a few women have responded to this thread by saying THEY can relate to guys more doesn't mean that's automatically how most people feel. This is just a small amount of people here.
Amethyst Posted October 23, 2004 Posted October 23, 2004 Originally posted by dreaming4ever I don't want to get in an argument about this or anything...but the fact that a few women have responded to this thread by saying THEY can relate to guys more doesn't mean that's automatically how most people feel. This is just a small amount of people here. I completely agree with you. So, can you supply the statistics / studies that support your rule? Edit: I'll admit that when I asked for the stats and studies, I was being facetious. You created this thread and asked our opinions. You *expected* us to agree with you; and, when we didn't, you start concocting excuses as to why we didn't. (We are ALL "exceptions" to the rule, remember?) It's obvious that you didn't post this thread looking for real opinions...you just wanted everyone to take your side. In fact, I'm sure that, had we all agreed, you would've presented this to your boyfriend as *proof* of your rule. Therefore, a "few women" responding to this thread in that way would've been enough for you. Instead, we disagree with you so we're but a "few" of the many and we really prove nothing. The simple fact is that we are getting nowhere. I, like most here, believe you can't generalize something that is an individual preference. You don't agree. We've posted back and forth and have not changed the other's stance; thus, this is my last post on the subject. No argument here.
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