Mara2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I have a hubby who is well, not the easiest to get along with. My hubby has always been known for being a jerk. And I have many people tell me they are sorry for me, and I just blow it off because it's part of who he is. Most girls with any brain would not put up with his stunts. Well, last spring, we went to get a divorce and I ended up seeing some one while we were legally separated. Real great guy and I've known him for many years. I was working things out (as friends) with my hubby and while hanging out with the hubby, he called me into his room while on the phone and waved me over, and put on the speaker phone and on the other line was my then bf, saying he didn't give a f about me (he never ever curses, never at me-he's a classic gentleman) and that he didn't care if he saw me again, etc. And this was just out of blue. So long story short, I was crying my eyes out and DH hung up the phone and was all comforting. Well, 2 months later, hubby and I became real close again and cancelled the divorce. He was SUPER sweet to me. Then we moved back in together, and all went down hill and back to the way he was. Lot of screaming and cursing, and my whole pregnancy was just pure terror, and if I ever went to leave he threaten to take my son once he was born (his families are millionaires and work in the gov. etc- while I'm an under the table nanny- he would've been the better home for a child). And about a month before Charles was born he decided to join the navy. He left for BT a month ago. Well, I have been talking to the guy again- we're just friends- and he told me that my hubby had called him while we were dating crying saying he needed me, loved me, etc, but that he was in the way, so my hubby needed him to break it off with me. And my hubby did this before when I was in high school, so I know it's def. not beneath him. ANd of course, this guy was like, okay, you obviously love her, and she'd be better off cancelling the divorce then be with me (my hubby took EVERYTHING and left e with nothing, so I was in a pretty bad situation). It's really angering to know that my hubby had this really really great guy make himself to be the bad guy, just so he could be the false good guy. I'm so mad. I feel like I was completely tricked. I feel bad because me and this guy have been talking and I just can't stop thinking of what ifs but I feel it's wrong. But this guy and I get along sooooo well and he always puts me first and never ever yells or curses at me, he's the complete opposite of my hubby and such a gentleman. Obviously, I don't want to be with my hubby, but I'm afraid of him taking my son. but on the other hand I want to be with someone who will make me happy. And right now things are good between the hubby and I- after all we're not around each other we just communicate through letters. So I would feel bad breaking it off, esp. since he is in BT and it's stressful, but I'm scared of when he gets done school and we move to where ever. I really don't want to go back to that life style. What do you all think? Yes, I know couples' therapy would be great, we marreid to young, we shouldn't had gotten back together so quick, etc, but I guess I'm asking what would you do if in my shoes?
AE1 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 It sounds like you have a lot going on. Your baby, you, your husband, this guy friend. I can tell you from personal experience the grass always look greener on the other side, so dont make your decision based on your guy friend treats you one way vs your husband treats you another. If I were in your shoes, as hard as it is, I would decide what to do with my husband first. Work things out? counseling?, separating? Decide what is best for you and your baby. Then go from there. I hope you figure things out. You deserve to be happy. 1
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