soinlove Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Me and MM have been "together" for about a year now. no sex, other things, but the emotional connection is what is all about. i am so in love with him. but i am getting to the point where when we are together and he is holdingme i just cant help but cry. it is hurting me so much that he is still living with the W. i know i need to break up with him, but the thought of losing him from my life is heart wrenching. but so is living with the pain of knowing that i can not be with the man i love.i try to date other men but none of them are him. he is everything i want and need besides the wife of course.i dont know what to do. i guess i need to know how others let go when their hearts told them not to. and reassurance that i will be okay and will heal becasue right now i dont know if i can go on. i am getting so upset just thinkig of it. he is so importnant to my life and family, he and my son are nuts about each other. i just cant let it go he is what is keeping me strong, i am going through a divorce with my husband and he is so mjuch to me. HELP
Quilly Posted October 22, 2004 Posted October 22, 2004 You didn't say specifically, but I take it MM has indicated he is not willing to leave W? If so, then you need to start working on accepting that. I've been struggling with this for nearly two months so I know it's not an easy thing to do. But if he's decided to stay in the marriage then you really have only two choices: 1) stay with MM and continue hurting; or 2) grieve for what you had and then move on and find someone that wants to be with you and be happy. Yes, logically that seems a simple choice; emotionally it's not that clear cut. And while you'll find plenty of advice as to what you should do, how to end the relationship, how to cope with the loss, etc., etc. None of it will do you any good until you make the decision to end it with MM and you commit to making that happen. In my own opinion, truly accepting that MM will not be a part of your future in the way that you want, is the hardest part. It's something that only you can do... but once you do it, things will get easier. Good luck.
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