confusedLilone Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I have been talking to this man for a week and a half now. We both have a pretty strong connection. Saturday he wants to meet, and he keeps telling me he wants to have sex with me or we get each other off. He said he wants me to be his girlfriend,and he feels a very strong intimate and mental bond with me. Now I am not giving it up yet, that is just nuts.. but how do I know if he is just looking for sex or he really does want to be with me?
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 A man who's looking for more than just sex isn't going to tell you he wants to have sex with you on the first date before you've even HAD the first date. 1
Author confusedLilone Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 A man who's looking for more than just sex isn't going to tell you he wants to have sex with you on the first date before you've even HAD the first date. I figured. He said it doesn't even have to be sex, he just wants to be physical with me. I guess even though he appears nice, he's a loser. 1
Star Gazer Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I guess even though he appears nice, he's a loser. Do you think nice men tell you what they want to do to you sexually before they've even met you?
sillyanswer Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I guess even though he appears nice, he's a loser. No need to throw out "he's a loser". He's just being assertive about what he wants (which is sex).
phineas Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Honestly, I really wish I knew what these men had that allow them to talk to a woman in a such a way & they will still go out with them.
OwlSoul Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Well, tell him you'll have something intimate only after 2-3 months. If he really likes you he'll stay.
therhythm Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I have been talking to this man for a week and a half now. We both have a pretty strong connection. Saturday he wants to meet, and he keeps telling me he wants to have sex with me or we get each other off. He said he wants me to be his girlfriend,and he feels a very strong intimate and mental bond with me. Now I am not giving it up yet, that is just nuts.. but how do I know if he is just looking for sex or he really does want to be with me? Honestly if you have not even been in a date and he is telling you he wants sex (pushing for it) and telling you that he wants to be your boyfriend... he is just trying to manipulate you and his aim is definitely sex... be careful! Never trust a man who push for sex! Sex should be a mutual act not something that someone does to make someone else happy!
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I have been talking to this man for a week and a half now. We both have a pretty strong connection. No you don't. Saturday he wants to meet, and he keeps telling me he wants to have sex with me or we get each other off. I'd be very turned off if a stranger talked to me like that but how do I know if he is just looking for sex or he really does want to be with me? He only wants sex. Why are you even meeting him on Saturday if you don't want to sleep with him? He's already told you this is why he's meeting you - to get physical. You are putting yourself in a potentially unpleasant situation where you'll have to turn him down, he'll get all annoyed/frustrated/beggy/etc. Or you'll end up sleeping with him and then regret it.
JourneyLady Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Honestly, I really wish I knew what these men had that allow them to talk to a woman in a such a way & they will still go out with them. I can tell you... First, they have a seductive way of saying things that make a woman believe they really care about you as a person (and love you) while still being very vague about their intentions toward you. Second, they often are involved in things that make it "look like" they care about humanity in some way, so that a woman believes they are somehow more evolved than other men (ie. not so interested in material wealth). The naive among us tend to think that men involved in such things couldn't possibly have ulterior motives! Third, the women who succumb to this often have a physical chemistry with the man that is overwhelming and powerful. ----------------- My ex bf is like this. He told me last month he was still "in love with me", but is already pursuing another woman now that he has moved. I'm sure that if she has that physical chemistry with him, she thinks he's the bees knees... I know I did. So many times we broke up and then, when he couldn't find someone else to have sex with, would get back with me and give me attention and love... and in the process just "happened to mention" how I was turning him on. (Just to remind me of how good the physical part was, knowing I hadn't been touched in some time.) I'm still suffering from the aftermath of this man in that it is hard to imagine sex being that good with anyone else. After five years, I was fully bonded to him (but not the reverse) so it's difficult to see myself with anyone else. So for now, I am concentrating on making friends with a lot of people and getting out there. These kinds of men (or women?) are a death trap to your heart...
BradJacobs Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Why are you even meeting him on Saturday if you don't want to sleep with him? My guess? Since he threw out the alternatives of getting off, she's all ready had that inner chat where she decided a handie or BJ was going to be okay provided he wants her as his gf.
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 My guess? Since he threw out the alternatives of getting off, she's all ready had that inner chat where she decided a handie or BJ was going to be okay provided he wants her as his gf. After all a BJ is the new handshake. 1
pcplod Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Whatever his intentions he has absolutely no class or finesse. Or patience. Come to think of it, I rate patience quite highly in someone, even when it isn't about sex. You can be having great sex with someone but if they have no patience and it is patent, then that will do my head in pretty promptly and I'll go off sex with them very quickly.
MidwestUSA Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Honestly, I really wish I knew what these men had that allow them to talk to a woman in a such a way & they will still go out with them. No, no you don't. You just stay the way you are please!
RedRobin Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Honestly, I really wish I knew what these men had that allow them to talk to a woman in a such a way & they will still go out with them. The same ones that concoct internet scams, Ponzi schemes, etc... It's a combination of charm, persistence, and knowing that a certain % will go for it.
RedRobin Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 OP, stop contact with this guy unless you are ok with a ONS/FWB arrangement.
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