Infinity0 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) DID HE LIKE ME???????? Need help from the men especially because I've never met anyone like this guy before! *************Sorry this turned out longer than I thought it would be:love:******* Sooo y not? right? Joined this Free online dating site. Just out of curiosity honestly. First of all...SO MANY guys trying to talk to women!! I dont even open all the messages I get. It's a different experience for sure. This guy talked to me and he lives 2 miles away. His pictures caught my eye. I though he was super cute and just seemed like a nice guy so we decided to meet right away. This is the first time I meet anyone online, but I was brave and just did it. Just to "hang out". We try to figure out on the phone where to meet since we both work 1 mile away from each other and both finished at the same time BUT the conversation is so awkward! He wants me to decide where to meet? umm ok me: "let's meet at starbucks?" superman:"I don't drink coffee, but I'll drink water and watch u drink coffee" I though he is joking so I laughed.... .....silence..... me: um...u can drink coke? superman: I don't drink soda... me: laughing again...."so what do u drink?" superman: water ok so we decide to meet at the mall. I decided to not show up. Then looked at his pic again and decided he was too hot I'll give it a try what the heck and if he is as weird in person I'll just never contact him again. So I meet him. He seems standofish! No compliment, nothing. Which is ok I like guys that don't bull**** too much anyways. Decent looking confident kindda cocky guy. Kind of my type somehow. I pay for my own coffee and bought him a bottle of water lol ok so he didn't pay. This is a first. But since today was the day of "firsts" it's ok. Maybe this is how online daters roll...I dont know! LOL He asked me if I ate I said yes. He said he didn't have time to eat because he came to meet me. I told him he should order food. He did. We sit down. He tries really hard to make conversation. Actually the conversation was good. He kept asking me stuff about myself, I asked him stuff abt himself. I really liked who he was. We actually are very similar in many ways. He seemed kind of nervous and at times his hands would shake. He laughed a lot and seemed very interested but at the same time we would run out of stuff to talk about and he kept coming up with new conversations. I still couldn't tell if he liked me though? Normally when a guy in real life approaches me and asks me out I know he likes me because he knows exactly what I look like and chooses to talk to me. What if this one expected me to look different? My pics online are current, but maybe I look better in the pics? or just different? He didn't give me a single compliment! I am feeling insecure here for the first time out with a guy!! errrr when he is done with his food I asked him what he wanted to do. He asks me back what i want to do. I said: "well I'll just go home" he sais he will too.....okkkkkkkkkkkkkkk So we walk to the cars. He is walking really confident trying to make some more conversation. me: okkk that's my car superman: ok I guess me: ok um nice to meet you....*awkward hug* superman: likewise....keeps staring me: waiting for him to say "I'll call u" or "I hope to see you again" or SOMETHING NOTHING LOL This has NEVER happened to me before! I have never been on a date where a second date hasn't been arranged before the end of the first date. Maybe because we are just "hanging out?" but even when I "hang out" they ask to hang out again tomorrow or soon. WTF? was I that bad? I must be too fat for him!? lol He is a f*****ng health freak and has the widest shoulders I've seen on a 6'1 guy. Soldier dude But compared to other guys I have dated he is kind of average honestly. So I got in my car, called my friend and we arranged to meet for drinks and I completely tried to erase the whole experience from my head. But I couldn't stop thinking about how horrible this experience was. I really liked him though and he really didn't seem to have liked me. Which is ok I guess, but still kind of hurt my ego. 30 mins later he texts me: superman: I hope you had a good time *my name* me: lol did u? where there is coffee (and water) there is good time! superman: I did! lol I see you didn't need me then me: haha that's not what I meant superman: hmmmmm 30 mins later superman: well hopefully you're not sitting at home bored we kind of text back and forth and I am still confused as to why he is texting me if he didn't like me but I was nice and polite. last texts: bla bla bla bla bla he said something abt me needing to have more fun and be more adventurous and I said ok and he said he didnt like that answer and I should have said "I'm ready" so I said "I might be!" superman: I'll remember that for next time I see you then! me: superman: superman: This is a good start )) end of texts until he texts me again to hopefully ask me on a normal date where he will arrange something instead of asking me what I want to do. soooo now he has not exactly asked me out again but kind of hinted towards it and kept initiating texts. I kept wanting to tell him: "WHY ARE YOU TEXTING ME AND WHY DO YOU CARE IF IM SITTING AT HOME IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME????" The texts after we hang out confused me. So did he like me? LOL :bunny::bunny::bunny: Edited July 10, 2013 by Infinity0
ScreamingTrees Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 You're really melodramatic.. It's a "horrible" date, but you enjoyed talking to him and you're meh about him, but you're getting nervous and giddy about whether or not he's into you? You sound like the real weird one here, honestly. It's normal for both parties to be nervous and maybe act a bit awkward due to that.. And you think he's weird because he'd prefer water over coffee and soda? But he's a "health freak", right? Makes sense to me. Learn to put the jumbo Hasbro™-like puzzle pieces together. The wording of how he'd said it over the phone is sort of awkward, but maybe it was nerves.. Or you're not repeating his words in the way they were spoken. "while I watch you drink coffee".. Sounds like an odd way to put it. If he'd said "It's cool, I'll just get water and you can get your coffee" it'd sound less like he was going to sit there and just stare a hole into your forehead fantasizing about how chloroforming your ass and dragging you back home to the basement. Anyways, he could be into you, maybe he's not.. Either hint at it, ask him, or wait. Your choice. 2
Author Infinity0 Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 haha Thnx ScreamingTrees. I am repeating most of his words correctly I hope, but English is also my 3rd language so maybe I'm not. So yeah I think I'm freaking out then because I've never met anyone this way before. Talking to him was interesting because it felt like an interview at times. He kind of just kept asking me stuff and was so worried of silence while we were sitting. But when he first saw me he didn't compliment me or paid for my coffee (the coffee thing honestly was different, but I didn't really mind it because it wasn't an official date). I kind of cut the "date" short and he didn't suggest that we do something else to try to hang out more. He didn't mention wanting to see me again and the hug in the end was awkward. But then he started texting me hinting that there will be a next time. I am assuming now after the texts that he maybe did like me, but in person I just couldn't figure him out.
ScreamingTrees Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 haha Thnx ScreamingTrees. I am repeating most of his words correctly I hope, but English is also my 3rd language so maybe I'm not. So yeah I think I'm freaking out then because I've never met anyone this way before. Talking to him was interesting because it felt like an interview at times. He kind of just kept asking me stuff and was so worried of silence while we were sitting. But when he first saw me he didn't compliment me or paid for my coffee (the coffee thing honestly was different, but I didn't really mind it because it wasn't an official date). I kind of cut the "date" short and he didn't suggest that we do something else to try to hang out more. He didn't mention wanting to see me again and the hug in the end was awkward. But then he started texting me hinting that there will be a next time. I am assuming now after the texts that he maybe did like me, but in person I just couldn't figure him out. Well, there you have it. Maybe he was worried about leaving a **** impression so he tried to keep things going and wanted to get a sense of who you were and what you're all about? It does sound weird, but I don't know. Are you still interested, or not? I'm assuming you are?
forgetmenot75 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 he seems very insecure, i guess he was waiting for you to take the initiative...Doesn't seem to be very brilliant so far... 4
CptSaveAho Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 He's looking for a hook up The adventurous text gives it away Player in training 3
forgetmenot75 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 He's looking for a hook up The adventurous text gives it away Player in training ??? Doesn't seem like a player. Why do you say that??? 1
BeholdtheMan Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 *snip* 1) How old are you? You sound like you're barely out of your teens. 2) If a semi-attractive guy denies you the validation you so desperately crave, don't chase his validation. The guy will catch on and use this knowledge to get into your pants before swiftly moving on to the next chick with low self-esteem 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 This guy sounds like he has no game. Probably lacks experience. 2
lissa90 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Hm, from what I've read it seems like it kind of dropped hints but you didn't take the bait. Especially when you just replied with ":)". And anyway, why don't you take the initiative and ask if he's free on so and so day to do something. Maybe he likes..maybe he's nervous. Maybe he's neither but damn, I'm a firm believer that if you want something you go and get it. Don't sit back and twiddle your thumbs and second guess. All these damn dating rules. Do this, do that, wait for the guy to ask or initiate. Screw that, takes too long. 1
Fondue Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 You made him sound more awkward than he probably was. I actually pictured this in my head instead: Him trying to engage YOU in conversation, but YOU only responding to his questions. Let the conversation flow, ask him stuff back. You keep mentioning how he made effort to talk, but did you make any effort to do so, too? Also, what's with your desperate need to be complimented? I never do it. Especially with people I meet online. It's just not my thing. Get over it. Some people don't need to flatter others to impress them. He probably went on online dates before, I get the feeling that since this was your first, you probably were the more shy/weird one. 2
Lansing Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I agree with Fondue. I hate it when I am talking with a girl and it turns out to me asking her questions because I am the type that doesn't really start telling stories about myself until the girl shows interest in wanting to hear about me. Also, you said it was a horrible date and you are getting a ton of messages from other guys. It you sound hung up on this guy! You should really make sure you aren't I to him just because you want him to want you. 1
Author Infinity0 Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 You made him sound more awkward than he probably was. I actually pictured this in my head instead: Him trying to engage YOU in conversation, but YOU only responding to his questions. Let the conversation flow, ask him stuff back. You keep mentioning how he made effort to talk, but did you make any effort to do so, too? Also, what's with your desperate need to be complimented? I never do it. Especially with people I meet online. It's just not my thing. Get over it. Some people don't need to flatter others to impress them. He probably went on online dates before, I get the feeling that since this was your first, you probably were the more shy/weird one. No not really. I was comfortable talking to him and interested in his job etc etc. I am a happy person and like to laugh. He made a few jokes I found funny and I said stuff that made him laugh too. Not a desperate need for compliments. I am used to men comenting at least something like "u look great" just to b a gentleman. It is not a huge deal that he didn't, but it would have been nice. He said this is the first time he meets someone online lol. He is so interesting!! When we talked on the website we just had small conversation and he found out what time I get off. He never asked me if I wanted to meet but then arnd 4 he sais "ok I'm almost done. R u done?" I said ill b in a bit and then he sais "ok let me know when ur done so I can come meet u. LOL. I found that confidence that he assumed I will meet him kind of attractive. 1
Author Infinity0 Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 This guy sounds like he has no game. Probably lacks experience. I hope so! He looks great very fi guy. He ia just not 100% my type bcz he has blonde hair. 1
Author Infinity0 Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 1) How old are you? You sound like you're barely out of your teens. 2) If a semi-attractive guy denies you the validation you so desperately crave, don't chase his validation. The guy will catch on and use this knowledge to get into your pants before swiftly moving on to the next chick with low self-esteem I'm 25. Got in a serious relationship at 19 married him at 22 and divorced at 24:o I'm actually a pretty confident person. I just couldnt figure this guy out. I dont like games (even though i have kind of learned how to play them...but iwould prefer to not have to)and dont have experience meeting ppl online. Usually I get the validationa guy likes me by the fact that he aproaches me in person. Everyone needs that kind of validation when u hamg out or go on a date. Y would u assume its low self esteem? Wtf
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 He never asked me if I wanted to meet but then arnd 4 he sais "ok I'm almost done. R u done?" I said ill b in a bit and then he sais "ok let me know when ur done so I can come meet u. LOL. I found that confidence that he assumed I will meet him kind of attractive. This strikes me as very odd. I'm not sure whether this is confidence or cluelessness. He does sound strange which, I guess, you find a turn on. 3
FitChick Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Tell him that because English is not your native language he needs to be very clear when he speaks to you and not hint at things and expect you to know. Can't imagine what else you could do. He sounds like one of those insecure men who became gym rats to attract women but then had no idea what to do once they got one. 2
Author Infinity0 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) Tell him that because English is not your native language he needs to be very clear when he speaks to you and not hint at things and expect you to know. Can't imagine what else you could do. He sounds like one of those insecure men who became gym rats to attract women but then had no idea what to do once they got one. He might be one of those! oh well. He asked me what I was doing after work today and if I wanted to hang out. I told him that "I will be honest...I am surprised you want to hang out since yesterday you seemed like you couldn't wait to get out of there". He texted me this 3 text-message long text. He said how he was nervous because he didn't expect to meet online "someone I could never have a chance with in real life" lol and how he hopes he didn't ruin everything. etc etc. I haven't replied yet because I feel like now he is trying to turn into a little player. :bunny: ok my ego has been satisfied. :rolleyes: Edited July 11, 2013 by Infinity0
shexy Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 That wasn't a horrible date. Trust me on that one. It sounds like you were the one that was all drama and anxiety, not him.
sdraw108 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) ok so we decide to meet at the mall. I decided to not show up. Then looked at his pic again and decided he was too hot I'll give it a try what the heck How are we 2 pages in and nobody has spotted this yet? This is despicable behavior. Arranging a date with someone and then deciding to deliberately not show up? And then changing your mind solely because he is "too hot"? And now you're happy with the outcome, not because he's indicated he's interested in you, but because your "ego has been satisfied". What is wrong with you? Edited July 11, 2013 by sdraw108 6
ScreamingTrees Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 How are we 2 pages in and nobody has spotted this yet? This is despicable behavior. Arranging a date with someone and then deciding to deliberately not show up? And then changing your mind solely because he is "too hot"? And now you're happy with the outcome, not because he's indicated he's interested in you, but because your "ego has been satisfied". What is wrong with you? But he's not that hot, because he has blonde hair. 3
ScreamingTrees Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 I'm 25. Got in a serious relationship at 19 married him at 22 and divorced at 24:o I'm actually a pretty confident person. I just couldnt figure this guy out. I dont like games (even though i have kind of learned how to play them...but iwould prefer to not have to)and dont have experience meeting ppl online. Usually I get the validationa guy likes me by the fact that he aproaches me in person. Everyone needs that kind of validation when u hamg out or go on a date. Y would u assume its low self esteem? Wtf If you don't like games, no one's forcing you to ever play them. You play them because you choose to, no matter what, it's your decision. There will never be a life situation that requires you to be manipulative to save your own life.. Not in this lifetime.
RogerWallace111 Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 Damn this thread has me lol'in ! You sound like a funny girl. I'm not sure how you connect his saying he was nervous and that you were better than what he could "get" in real life with him being a "little player"... But not surprised with your satisfaction now that you feel you've affirmed that you're the superior one 1
Author Infinity0 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 How are we 2 pages in and nobody has spotted this yet? This is despicable behavior. Arranging a date with someone and then deciding to deliberately not show up? And then changing your mind solely because he is "too hot"? And now you're happy with the outcome, not because he's indicated he's interested in you, but because your "ego has been satisfied". What is wrong with you? He said he doesn't drink coffee....or coke.. First of all I'm a huge coffee drinker. That's what we do in my country (yea yea I know this is America ok ) we drink coffee to socialize. But it's not that he doesn't drink coffee. It's the way he said it. He wanted to meet and then wouldn't decide where to go. Everything I suggested he shut down. Conversation was awkward. I have an accent so I don't know if he didn't expect that? American guys comment on my accent and he didn't even do that over the phone. Which again is ok, but different. So of course I would think I don't want to meet him. He didn't even seem interested on the phone, but I figured ok maybe that's just his personality and then looked at his pics again and honestly his body is just HOT. Put a brown wig on that and he is good to go :laugh: j/k so no harm in meeting him. But also since this is the first time I am meeting someone online it is only normal for me to get hesitant or change my mind as the time to meet them approaches. I think.
Author Infinity0 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 But he's not that hot, because he has blonde hair. u're funny
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