In Desperate Need Of Guidence (7 years, 2 kids...and a NEW man)

[Tscottlindsay]

Hey guys, I'm in desperate need of some emotional support and maybe a little guidance. You see what happened was a couple days ago my fiance of 7 years and two beautiful children left me for another man at the drop of a hat. I was completely blind sided by this. We had had a great relationship, we fought of course, but nothing ever too serious. Other than the 2 other times she did this to me. I pushed those aside contributing them to the fact that we were young, and ever since my first was born she had been loyal and dedicated. I contribute that partially to the fact she had low self esteem however. I can say this because after having our second her body had really bounced back and she was looking amazing. Getting her confidence back scared me for this reason. Now besides all of that there is also a problem with her mother. She is the type of mother trying to live vicarious threw her. Attempting to get her to sleep with as many men as possible and get drunk and party every night. She can normally ignore her mother and make her own decision. its just that recently we had lost our home and she was forced to move back in with her mother. So she can only fight her off so long.

 

K, not to add even more, but there is. See after she had left me for this other guy she came and seen me the day after she had slept with him. We spent the whole day talking and flirting, and even before she left she started to make out with me and even get a little more physical. But what sticks out the most before she left was her telling me she wanted to marry me and move in with me were im staying. Even though she cant stand the people I'm staying with. Now keep in mind i didn't know she had slept with another man at this point, let alone a day before. I actually found out the next day. After i got home from work she had texted me saying that its over and that she had had sex with someone ells on a camping trip she went with him on the day after we broke up. (again, something ells i didn't know) Now shes telling me that she doesn't want to get back together with me because she doesn't want to put me threw it, and that she has hurt me enough and doesn't want to hurt me again. But what she doesn't know is that her refusing me and treating me like **** after 7 years and 2 kids is more painful than anything she could possibly do. Theres just so much more to add i cant keep my head on strait, so i guess ill add to it as i calm down and remember. But please, i don't know what to do. i will do anything to keep her. She means the world to me, that is why i had been completely faithful to her this whole time. The scary part is her sleeping with another man isn't bothering me, but her leaving is killing me. I pray every day to have her back, and curse god every night for doing this to me. I don't know how to even begin to get threw this because we had been together since high school. I'm 24 now so i was 17 when we first got together. She is all i know out of life. I have no friends, and cant speak about this with my family. So I'm at a lost and have nothing to do but lay in my bed, sulk, cry, cry, and cry. I just feel so distraught. Please help.

[Tscottlindsay]

Me and you have almost identical stories, except I only had one kid involved. The best thing you can do is try to hold yourself together, and act as if things are not bothering you. Don't go begging and crying to her, and try to keep low contact (I guess just limit discussion between you and your children).

 

I begged and pleaded, and all it did was make things worse, and pushed my ex away. I no longer see my child anymore, but that was my personal decision. The whole situation was unbearable to me,

 

Not saying you should do any of that. Just don't go digging a deeper hole for yourself, because if you play it off cool she may come back since you have children together.

 

This is what i thought would be the best approach to this situation. I've been trying, only sort of succeeding but still attempting, it been less than a week so its still fresh with me. I am glad to know im not the only person going threw something this...intense...that has to be the most comforting thing ive had since this all went down, so thank you.

[Chi townD]

Dude, are you kidding me? She did this to you twice already!!!!! Sorry to say this, but I think it's time to move on! Dude, there's 7 billion people on this planet and you're hung up on one that's going to cheat on you, leave you and, basically, piss on your face all the while laughing on how gullible you are.

 

You DESERVE BETTER!!!! Hell, I even wonder if the kids are even yours! You might want to think about getting a DNA test done on the kids.

 

You don't deserve this kind of treatment. Time to grow a spine and get mad!!

[Tscottlindsay]

K now that a couple days have passed these feelings im having are turning very dark. Not sure how to cope with it. Just trying to keep my head above water, but am panicking and slowly slipping under.