Prin Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Ok, here is the situation. Short and to the point, I was with this girl for 8 months and everything I'm the relationship went to fast and we fell for each other to quickly. A few months ago she became less attracted to me and I wasn't able to read the signs. She dumped me two weeks ago and I have not once initiated contact with her. She did once in the first week over email asking how my hernia went (sorry about being so specific) I told her fine and acted as if I wasn't phased by our break up. Now less then 2 weeks after how break up she contacted me again at night over google messaging. Which we have never used with each other before. She put I hope all is well and the name she only calls me. I acted happy and told her that I was doing well just been busy! She said she was doing good and progressing. We joked about how this reminded of when we were younger and use to use AIM. I cut the conversation off by saying. I have to run and I will talk to you later followed by a joke. She laughed and said Have Fun! What I need advice on is I really would like to get back together with her, and I don't know what this means when she is iniating contact when I am doing the NC (she doesn't know I am doing this) Where do I go from here? Do I contact her next or let her contact me again? Any advice will help! Thank you!
Author Prin Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Oh sorry I told her I have to run because I was meeting a friend*
Simon Phoenix Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Ok, here is the situation. Short and to the point, I was with this girl for 8 months and everything I'm the relationship went to fast and we fell for each other to quickly. A few months ago she became less attracted to me and I wasn't able to read the signs. She dumped me two weeks ago and I have not once initiated contact with her. She did once in the first week over email asking how my hernia went (sorry about being so specific) I told her fine and acted as if I wasn't phased by our break up. Now less then 2 weeks after how break up she contacted me again at night over google messaging. Which we have never used with each other before. She put I hope all is well and the name she only calls me. I acted happy and told her that I was doing well just been busy! She said she was doing good and progressing. We joked about how this reminded of when we were younger and use to use AIM. I cut the conversation off by saying. I have to run and I will talk to you later followed by a joke. She laughed and said Have Fun! What I need advice on is I really would like to get back together with her, and I don't know what this means when she is iniating contact when I am doing the NC (she doesn't know I am doing this) Where do I go from here? Do I contact her next or let her contact me again? Any advice will help! Thank you! You aren't doing NC if you are responding. NC means you aren't talking to her. No, you don't contact her and stop being so available to her. As for why she is contacting you, she's likely relieving her own guilt from breaking up with you.
Author Prin Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 I thought NC was I would never be the one who made contact first and when they did I would act fine and be to the point with my answers. So you are saying she is doing this to get over me faster? I feel like it is because she is having a hard time and lonely! Just my opinion and she is only asking how I am doing! I feel she wants me to be sad and miserable so she has a reason to not be with me! But I am answering her if I am not phased by the break up at all and moving on just fine with my life! I really do thank you for the advice and any additional! Just really confused right now
BeholdtheMan Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Well, she broke up with you in the first place. If she really wants to win you back, make her prove it. Make her chase you. If she doesn't put in the effort, move on. A good rule is to let her contact you more than vice versa. If you reveal that you're desperate to get her back, she'll know she has power over you and you'll be fu**ed. Mindgames I know...but it's almost unavoidable when dealing with these situations.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I thought NC was I would never be the one who made contact first and when they did I would act fine and be to the point with my answers. So you are saying she is doing this to get over me faster? I feel like it is because she is having a hard time and lonely! Just my opinion and she is only asking how I am doing! I feel she wants me to be sad and miserable so she has a reason to not be with me! But I am answering her if I am not phased by the break up at all and moving on just fine with my life! I really do thank you for the advice and any additional! Just really confused right now No, NC means No Contact. No contact means no communication at all from you to her. And she could be having a hard time with the breakup but still have no interest in reigniting a romantic relationship with you. She could be using you as a sympathetic ear (because she knows that you are still into her and wouldn't reject her) to help her along until she either a) becomes completely comfortable with the breakup or b) meets someone else to replace you. Therefore using you to get over you. It's an extremely common tactic for dumpers. By answering her, you aren't showing that you aren't phased by the breakup. You are showing that you are on the leash like an obedient pet, that when she snaps, you jump. At the very least you should be unavailable most of the time, if not completely. 1
happydate Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Ok, here is the situation. Short and to the point, I was with this girl for 8 months and everything I'm the relationship went to fast and we fell for each other to quickly. A few months ago she became less attracted to me and I wasn't able to read the signs. She dumped me two weeks ago and I have not once initiated contact with her. She did once in the first week over email asking how my hernia went (sorry about being so specific) I told her fine and acted as if I wasn't phased by our break up. Now less then 2 weeks after how break up she contacted me again at night over google messaging. Which we have never used with each other before. She put I hope all is well and the name she only calls me. I acted happy and told her that I was doing well just been busy! She said she was doing good and progressing. We joked about how this reminded of when we were younger and use to use AIM. I cut the conversation off by saying. I have to run and I will talk to you later followed by a joke. She laughed and said Have Fun! What I need advice on is I really would like to get back together with her, and I don't know what this means when she is iniating contact when I am doing the NC (she doesn't know I am doing this) Where do I go from here? Do I contact her next or let her contact me again? Any advice will help! Thank you! When a woman wants to break up with you, they don't snap a finger and do it. It takes awhile to brew. They are emotional beings, so when they finally break up with you, it's usually about 99.99% final! Which means that in that 8 short months, you're already getting the walking papers 4 months or 5 months prior. Yeah it takes a little longer if sex was really really good. It makes you wonder why when she orgasmed, is she thinking about my wand or when she's going to dump me! There's a high likelihood that she had found a replacement, but really it's her guilt trip showing. They'll get over it. The only 0.01% chance you get is that, if the sex is good and she hasn't found a replacement boyfriend yet is to get you to become a FWB. You will suggest it, but eventually though she will be gone like the wind once a replacement is found. If she's good looking, it won't be long. 1
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