rogersm Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 So me and my ex really were not talking at all for over a week then I texted her to apologize about some things that I said to her. She accepted and even apologized for how she treated me at the end of my relationship. She then asked if maybe we could hang out with my friends who are dating. So kinda like a double date. Although she insisted on dirving herself. But, she said we should meet up before they get there to talk. So, I am wodering how should I handle this? I told her i wouldnt talk about our relationship. But, I feel like we should a little. Especially before my friends get there. I really love this girl and would do anything to get back with her. I dont want it to seem desperate, but I want her to know how I feel.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 So me and my ex really were not talking at all for over a week then I texted her to apologize about some things that I said to her. She accepted and even apologized for how she treated me at the end of my relationship. She then asked if maybe we could hang out with my friends who are dating. So kinda like a double date. Although she insisted on dirving herself. But, she said we should meet up before they get there to talk. So, I am wodering how should I handle this? I told her i wouldnt talk about our relationship. But, I feel like we should a little. Especially before my friends get there. I really love this girl and would do anything to get back with her. I dont want it to seem desperate, but I want her to know how I feel. She already knows, so don't talk about it. If this does happen (I hope it doesn't because I don't think you are ready) then just be fun. No serious discussions. I think she's probably grooming you for the friend zone, so I'd be careful. I wouldn't follow up on what she said -- let her come back at you if she wants. Though you never seem to listen so you probably will beg. 3
happydate Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 So me and my ex really were not talking at all for over a week then I texted her to apologize about some things that I said to her. She accepted and even apologized for how she treated me at the end of my relationship. She then asked if maybe we could hang out with my friends who are dating. So kinda like a double date. Although she insisted on dirving herself. But, she said we should meet up before they get there to talk. So, I am wodering how should I handle this? I told her i wouldnt talk about our relationship. But, I feel like we should a little. Especially before my friends get there. I really love this girl and would do anything to get back with her. I dont want it to seem desperate, but I want her to know how I feel. My question to you is this: Was this a healthy balanced relationships void of punish/reward manipulation and guilt or is it a dysfunctional relationship that you feel stress, tensed and being manipulated and confined? If your relationship was a healthy one, then yes second chances are possible. If your relationship was a dysfunctional one, then NO SECOND CHANCES. Basically, the second chance is on her to manipulate you even more to become one of her friend-zoned puppies. Here's the thing of interest. You apologized to her for what? If you were in a healthy relationship, then that apology meant asking for compassion and forgiveness from the girl. That's not a sign of weakness; but rather a sign of maturity. Girl accepts the apology and then second chances are possible. However, if you and her were in an unbalanced relationship. Your apology, even if you said it with anger and with justification, is now meant as a sign of weakness on your part. She acknowledged it and pat you on the back with a compliment of course. Usually when a woman accepts an apology, they talk a lot and I mean A LOT and make sure you never make the same mistake again so you won't hurt her feeling again. It's very unusual for her to just brush it off so quickly as though it's nothing. When you ticked off a woman, they really hold a grudge on you for a LONG TIME. So to me, it probably goes like this. Ahh, as I always thought the woman said; he's weak and I can manipulate him as one of my friend buddies. Don't become the one being manipulated, because the self-esteem of the one being manipulated into being her platonic friend will eventually have the self-esteem LESS than the manipulator herself. Soon, you will forget who you really are.
Author rogersm Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 So basically you guys were right. She canceled on me. Told me she was called into work. I am pretty sure she made it up though. I guess I just need to move on and learn that she isn't goign to change any time soon.
Minneloa Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 So basically you guys were right. She canceled on me. Told me she was called into work. I am pretty sure she made it up though. I guess I just need to move on and learn that she isn't goign to change any time soon. Sorry this happened, OP. Continued contact after a breakup is typically a crazy rollercoaster of false hope and dashed expectations. I hope you will finally go NC now and let your healing begin. Sending good thoughts.
Author rogersm Posted July 11, 2013 Author Posted July 11, 2013 I am going to try NC now. Thanks guys. I obviously am very dumb. This was my first relationship so maybe I will learn. I don't know why I like this girl so much when all she does is play with my head. Hopefully I can stop hoping now. It is pretty obvious she doesn't care about me at all 2
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