thembones Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Basically, she broke up w/ me 3 weeks ago. No contact or seeing each other for that time but we work at the same place.. A mutual friend's last day was today and we both were invited to going-away lunch (6 people total). We said hi when first got there, but sat at opposite corners of the table. She was buried in her phone until the food came. She seemed very uncomfortable and I acted like myself, joking and being funny with the group. My friend said he caught her looking at me a few times but I hardly looked her way. I thought I would be more uncomfortable but I wasn't. I do want to try to fix things but I'm not going to push it if she doesn't want it. My question is: Did I act right? I didn't ignore her but I also didn't talk to her for no reason.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Sounds like you made the best of an awkward situation. I had a similar type of meet up with my most recent ex about six weeks after the break after limited contact. Pretty much went the same way -- I was close to my usual self while she was awkward, cold and reserved, though I'd catch her looking at me or letting a laugh or smile slip out when I told a joke to the group. So your situation sounds like how mine went to the T.
tbf Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Yes, your actions were perfect. What you showed her is that break up didn't shatter your self esteem and that you're not going to cause drama. As far as getting her back, I'm not going to comment on this aspect. 1
flitzanu Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 you behaved fine. as for getting her back, she's the one that left you, so that isn't up to you. she is going to have to be the one to want you back, she already knows you want to be with her.
Author thembones Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 I don't necessarily want her back, but i wouldn't hate it completely. I thought we would have more time than just saying hello. It was fine and went better than I thought. I think it went well from my perspective and was kinda glad she was somewhat shaken. I guess it shows me that she still cares a little, maybe. Should I text her and tell her it was good to see her again, after not seeing each other for a bit? I just want to be the bigger person in this.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I don't necessarily want her back, but i wouldn't hate it completely. I thought we would have more time than just saying hello. It was fine and went better than I thought. I think it went well from my perspective and was kinda glad she was somewhat shaken. I guess it shows me that she still cares a little, maybe. Should I text her and tell her it was good to see her again, after not seeing each other for a bit? I just want to be the bigger person in this. No. I did that after my aforementioned meetup (actually, after the second meetup, saw her twice in a weekend) because it was her birthday, was devastated when I got a "hey thanks" and then nothing at all after I responded to hey thanks. Started NC after that. So yeah, just let this meeting stand alone for right now.
Author thembones Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Kinda what I was thinking. I did all I could to save the relationship and she made her choice. I am fine with that, but yes I do still miss her some obviously. it's not like I ignored her. I shouldn't care but I guess I do a little. That's life. Thanks.
flitzanu Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 it would make sense, yes, to be the bigger person and text her, but that's not a good choice. she was the dumper, don't drag her back into your life with communication when she isn't reaching out to you.
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