BLo7687 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 ...you haven't found anyone else or anyone better? I think this is the case for me. For the last 6/7 months, even with all the rebounds/dates/hang outs with other guys, there hasn't been anyone that has done it better than him. I know the saying "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else" but seriously this whole waiting around sucks.
LosingHope0806 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I never met that one person who fully took my focus and attention away from my ex. I did meet someone who kept me company and made me happy and smile, but he was never my ex. z So now I do wonder if that was the man I was suppose to end up with, or was I to stubborn thinking about my ex. Do you keep in contact with your ex at all?
todreaminblue Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 when i develop feelings for someone else, the feelings i have for my ex have faded....in this heart of mine i have now, i have room for one......i have had a few hearts......those other hearts who have belonged to someone else....have been put away in my past cupboard.......i have no anger no regrets i did my best,went for broke ......i have a right to be loved completely and for me to give that same love back.....you cant move on with unresolved feelings.......explore them.....and dont revisit, once you are tired of being at that place....move on and give all your love you have to give, to the one you are with nto a memory of love...make new memories......deb
Author BLo7687 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 I had to cut off contact again 2 weeks ago because he was nothing but breadcrumbing me and talking/bringing back old feelings even while having a gf. Nothing good was going to come out of it. He moved on quick right after we broke up and he's still with that same girl. The past couple of days/week he's commented me on social medias and texted once but I ignored them all. Anyways I remember it took over a year to get over a previous ex. I basically had an epiphany one day and was just done with it. I could care less about him now. That was 3 years ago and then eventually I met the recent ex 3 months later after that. I think all I need is to start crushing/liking/dating someone I'm actually INTERESTED in and I'm pretty sure I'll get over him. The feelings have to be mutual obviously. But that's easier said than done since I'm kinda picky and all the guys the past months have been busts. I really hope it doesn't take another year to get over the recent ex now.
SimonSerenade Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 My last ex took all the feelings I had remaining for the one before her and made them look insignificant, as time went by the ex before her didnt matter and I wondered what I ever saw in her in the first place, now that my ex is gone, I don't know what to think anymore, I honestly thought she was the one who would always stand by me, I was wrong, now I wonder if I'm the kind of guy whos meant to be alone and be happy with that, I don't think I can take another failed relationship, it's too draining and it just isn't worth what you go through after all is said and done, maybe one day I'll change my mind but it's going to take somebody really special to gain my trust let alone anything else. 3
Author BLo7687 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 I agree. To be honest, I'm hoping my next one will be my LAST one. I really learned a lot from my last ex. Had to go through all these roller coasters the last few months so I can appreciate my next relationship. Can't be doing this whole dating **** for another 2 or 3 years and then things don't work out. It doesn't get any easier as you grow older either. 5
SimonSerenade Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I'm almost 26 so I ain't all that old but I'll admit when I was younger I had a lot more options available to me especially when I was a teenager, I'm in your shoes, kind of, took me a year and a half till I met my last ex and I thought that was that, anything before her not working out all made sense, I've been out on one date since my ex left and though the girl was extremely pretty and genuinely a very nice person, I just didn't feel comfortable and couldn't open myself up to like her, not even a little, I've had another girl interested in me since and I talk to her over the phone on a regular basis when she calls and as nice and beautiful as she is, I don't know if I can ever feel the same for her, the funniest thing is, I've lost my sex drive completely and couldn't even imagine sleeping with another woman, I think that's what scares me the most, I'm not the kind of person who would ever sleep with anybody I didn't genuinely feel something deeply for anyway but it's always nice to fantasize.
BigTuna Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I'm almost 26 so I ain't all that old but I'll admit when I was younger I had a lot more options available to me especially when I was a teenager, I'm in your shoes, kind of, took me a year and a half till I met my last ex and I thought that was that, anything before her not working out all made sense, I've been out on one date since my ex left and though the girl was extremely pretty and genuinely a very nice person, I just didn't feel comfortable and couldn't open myself up to like her, not even a little, I've had another girl interested in me since and I talk to her over the phone on a regular basis when she calls and as nice and beautiful as she is, I don't know if I can ever feel the same for her, the funniest thing is, I've lost my sex drive completely and couldn't even imagine sleeping with another woman, I think that's what scares me the most, I'm not the kind of person who would ever sleep with anybody I didn't genuinely feel something deeply for anyway but it's always nice to fantasize. I'm in the same boat, mate. I'm nearing 26 and I guess i'm a little old-fashioned in the respect that I need to "feel it" before I can get with someone. I've dated one girl in the 7 months that I've been separated from my ex; I called it off just before a relationship was on the cards. She simply wasn't my ex. I've had 2 or 3 more register interest and ask me out, but I just knew dating them would probably do more harm than good. I'm doing ok by myself but I'm conscious time is a ticking clock, and I want the next one to be the "one". It would be devastating to see another relationship vanish after 3 years.
SimonSerenade Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I'm in the same boat, mate. I'm nearing 26 and I guess i'm a little old-fashioned in the respect that I need to "feel it" before I can get with someone. I've dated one girl in the 7 months that I've been separated from my ex; I called it off just before a relationship was on the cards. She simply wasn't my ex. I've had 2 or 3 more register interest and ask me out, but I just knew dating them would probably do more harm than good. I'm doing ok by myself but I'm conscious time is a ticking clock, and I want the next one to be the "one". It would be devastating to see another relationship vanish after 3 years. You sound like a good guy and it's good that you have yourself collected about all this, it took me a year and a half until I was ready to be with my ex, I was with the ex before her for a good 3 or so years and had a child with her, it took me a long time to bring myself to trust anyone again in that way, probably going to take a tad longer this time round but I've always been happy on my own and maintain that I don't need anybody in that way, I think if I got with somebody now or even did anything with anybody, it would destroy me because I would just think of my ex moving on too, I hope the next one will be the one too, I just don't have it in me to date around again and go through all this again. I hate today's society, it shouldn't be this hard to settle down with somebody but people's expectations these days have to be close to perfect, perfect being something I'll never ever be.
Still Searching Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 You sound like a good guy and it's good that you have yourself collected about all this, it took me a year and a half until I was ready to be with my ex, I was with the ex before her for a good 3 or so years and had a child with her, it took me a long time to bring myself to trust anyone again in that way, probably going to take a tad longer this time round but I've always been happy on my own and maintain that I don't need anybody in that way, I think if I got with somebody now or even did anything with anybody, it would destroy me because I would just think of my ex moving on too, I hope the next one will be the one too, I just don't have it in me to date around again and go through all this again. I hate today's society, it shouldn't be this hard to settle down with somebody but people's expectations these days have to be close to perfect, perfect being something I'll never ever be. I'm 26, and feel the same as both of you. I had my fun when I was younger, but have come to appreciate that special connection with someone, when it's much deeper/more than just sex. I'm not up for casual dating and/or recreational sex anymore. I'd rather be alone, honestly. I also couldn't agree more on your last statement. My ex (of 3 days now), had such lofty expectations of a relationship and love, like it should just be some fairy tale the entire time, with no hardships or serious discussions necessary. I'm far from perfect, and will never get there, and also realize that nobody else will either. It just seems like nobody these days believes in working through anything; it's just easier to walk away, I guess. 1
Babolat Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I feel your pain and I was the one who ended things with me ex almost 4 months ago. I think about her a lot; I go out with other girls, not really dating, I have fun, but I find myself thinking about her sometimes. Each day it does get better. I want us to stop the texting, yet I do like to hear from her. I texted her yesterday for the first time in weeks telling her why I had stopped contact, I need to heal. She replied stating she understands, it hurts as she just feels it's a shame two people who care for each other so much can't make it work. And she is right to a degree. She even said I am everything she wants in a man. That's difficult to hear. She said she is not suggesting we get back together, that she is confused too. Hang in there man.
SimonSerenade Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I'm 26, and feel the same as both of you. I had my fun when I was younger, but have come to appreciate that special connection with someone, when it's much deeper/more than just sex. I'm not up for casual dating and/or recreational sex anymore. I'd rather be alone, honestly. I also couldn't agree more on your last statement. My ex (of 3 days now), had such lofty expectations of a relationship and love, like it should just be some fairy tale the entire time, with no hardships or serious discussions necessary. I'm far from perfect, and will never get there, and also realize that nobody else will either. It just seems like nobody these days believes in working through anything; it's just easier to walk away, I guess. I wouldn't know what sex feels like outside of a relationship lol I've had chances but it never felt right so never went through with it, I can't imagine it being all that but saying that I've never tried it lol, I would rather just be on my own. I couldn't agree with you more on the last part, people say and do some messed up stuff these days and just expect you to forget about it with the click of a finger, personally I think there's phases of relationships you just have to see through and have faith that the phase will pass but nobody has the patience and people just tend to run away instead, it's a shame but that's just how it is now.
SimonSerenade Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I feel your pain and I was the one who ended things with me ex almost 4 months ago. I think about her a lot; I go out with other girls, not really dating, I have fun, but I find myself thinking about her sometimes. Each day it does get better. I want us to stop the texting, yet I do like to hear from her. I texted her yesterday for the first time in weeks telling her why I had stopped contact, I need to heal. She replied stating she understands, it hurts as she just feels it's a shame two people who care for each other so much can't make it work. And she is right to a degree. She even said I am everything she wants in a man. That's difficult to hear. She said she is not suggesting we get back together, that she is confused too. Hang in there man. That really is a shame, people tend to over complicate things so much when so often the solutions are staring you in the face, so often it's the hardest part of getting over a good relationship.
Still Searching Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I couldn't agree with you more on the last part, people say and do some messed up stuff these days and just expect you to forget about it with the click of a finger, personally I think there's phases of relationships you just have to see through and have faith that the phase will pass but nobody has the patience and people just tend to run away instead, it's a shame but that's just how it is now. Exactly. My ex would get stressed due to friends, family, work, and yeah, at times, our relationship. Her words were that she wasn't a confrontational person, so she never addressed any of the issues in the other areas of her life. Maybe I'm wrong, but it feels like sometimes people get overwhelmed with life in general, and rather than take a different job or work at solving some of the other issues, it's easiest to look at a relationship and place blame there for the unhappiness. Spot on about nobody having patience these days. If things aren't magically resolved immediately, patience just diminishes further, and people get more and more irritable. I felt this with my ex at the end, especially. I thought we identified our issues, and agreed to work on them. She never actually made an effort, but to her, saw no change, got impatient and more easily agitated, and just quit. Do I think it could have been resolved? Yep, but it takes two, and she wasn't willing to put in any more effort.
Babolat Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 That really is a shame, people tend to over complicate things so much when so often the solutions are staring you in the face, so often it's the hardest part of getting over a good relationship. Not following you.... Our rel;ationship was actually a good one, we got along great, no arguing, no fights, we had fun together. There were just lifestyle issues with her that caused me anxiety. She tells me she is making small changes now, I think so I can see she is. I just don't want to take a chance again and go thru the anxiety I went thru with her. She has even offered some compromises. I don't think she is trying to win me back..I just think, like me, she is wondering "what if".
SimonSerenade Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Not following you.... Our rel;ationship was actually a good one, we got along great, no arguing, no fights, we had fun together. There were just lifestyle issues with her that caused me anxiety. She tells me she is making small changes now, I think so I can see she is. I just don't want to take a chance again and go thru the anxiety I went thru with her. She has even offered some compromises. I don't think she is trying to win me back..I just think, like me, she is wondering "what if". I'm geussing you walked away because something was bothering you and you felt she could fix it but just chose not to, what anxieties did you have? (If you don't mind me asking).
SimonSerenade Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Exactly. My ex would get stressed due to friends, family, work, and yeah, at times, our relationship. Her words were that she wasn't a confrontational person, so she never addressed any of the issues in the other areas of her life. Maybe I'm wrong, but it feels like sometimes people get overwhelmed with life in general, and rather than take a different job or work at solving some of the other issues, it's easiest to look at a relationship and place blame there for the unhappiness. Spot on about nobody having patience these days. If things aren't magically resolved immediately, patience just diminishes further, and people get more and more irritable. I felt this with my ex at the end, especially. I thought we identified our issues, and agreed to work on them. She never actually made an effort, but to her, saw no change, got impatient and more easily agitated, and just quit. Do I think it could have been resolved? Yep, but it takes two, and she wasn't willing to put in any more effort. That really is a shame, I've known so many people who got fed up with their life and confused that unhappiness with their relationship, I was in your shoes, she knew how to fix our problems once and for all, it was so easy yet she wouldn't, it's almost like she wanted us to be unhappy.
Babolat Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I'm geussing you walked away because something was bothering you and you felt she could fix it but just chose not to, what anxieties did you have? (If you don't mind me asking). Yup, her lifestyle behavior, actions and choices caused me lots of anxiety, worry and stress. Check out some of my posts and you will see my story. She has offered to drink less around me, she has offered to stay with me if she goes out late with friends drinking/partying, versus spending the night who knows where, she states she is drinking a lot less now and does not want to go back to the level she was drinking at when we were dating and she is working on quitting smoking (which was never a big deal to me). I always trusted her, still do. It's the risky places she would put herself in, the late nights. the drinking, the men around in the bars, that caused me anxiety. She would invite me to go with her, and in fact wanted me to go with her; jus tnot my thing really. I like to go out, have some drinks, loosen up, get a little crazy. Her, totally different level.
LoveB86 Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Thinking about how I was used by him. How could it had happened knowing he came off so innocent and how he portrayed himself as the "lonely guy who was cheated on by a ex girlfriend from the past (not me)" but it's funny how he cheated on me and turned into the most cowardly, ignorant person I had ever met in my entire life. Basically used me and threw me away for his new girlfriend. It's very sad because it now made it harder for me to trust another man because I was played for a fool.
Scale Posted July 11, 2013 Posted July 11, 2013 My ex (of 3 days now), had such lofty expectations of a relationship and love, like it should just be some fairy tale the entire time, with no hardships or serious discussions necessary. I'm far from perfect, and will never get there, and also realize that nobody else will either. It just seems like nobody these days believes in working through anything; it's just easier to walk away, I guess. I'm 26 too and broke since october and finding it hard to get over my ex. We remained frnz and went no contact on may 27. I regret for it not working out as I'm still very sure of her as my life partner but she said her feelings faded. She very crazy of me and love me once. We were in LDR for long time as we both went to study abroad to make something of our lives. She went for 1 yr and I 2yrs. I had told her there will be many many hardships for me as I'm not financially well off. I tried my best but feel it wasn't enough as I failed. I just wished she undertand what I have for her and I cannot feel so for anybody else. I'm scared to get into a relationship now.
Blastoplast Posted July 13, 2013 Posted July 13, 2013 Yup, her lifestyle behavior, actions and choices caused me lots of anxiety, worry and stress. Check out some of my posts and you will see my story. She has offered to drink less around me, she has offered to stay with me if she goes out late with friends drinking/partying, versus spending the night who knows where, she states she is drinking a lot less now and does not want to go back to the level she was drinking at when we were dating and she is working on quitting smoking (which was never a big deal to me). I always trusted her, still do. It's the risky places she would put herself in, the late nights. the drinking, the men around in the bars, that caused me anxiety. She would invite me to go with her, and in fact wanted me to go with her; jus tnot my thing really. I like to go out, have some drinks, loosen up, get a little crazy. Her, totally different level. Heh, sounds like my ex -- 7 years together. She would go down and visit her old college roommate for the weekend, end up getting completely **** faced on Friday and Saturday then come home Sunday and be completely worthless hungover and doing nothing. During our break-up I mentioned that she never hung out with me at the end, and that I felt like I was shut-out from her friends (who I would hang out with from time to time, I loved her college friends!). She said I was never interested in going. Well, yeah I want to hang out -- but not stay up until 6 in the morning, end up sleeping on a hardwood floor -- wake up at 3pm the next day, eat and then party again. That's not exactly what I pictured myself to be doing at the age of 28 on some random weekend. I'll party late when it's warranted... But yeah, I've been thinking about my ex a lot lately because it's summer. These are the days where we would be going to concerts together, swimming in the lake, going on hikes in the state forest. I miss that a lot -- and I've dated and hooked up with quite a few women since her, including one I really liked but it just wouldn't work because of the distance and my busy schedule. But I will say, I'm happy with my life right now and I wouldn't be where I'm at if it weren't for a heart-wrenching break-up
Author BLo7687 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Posted July 18, 2013 Got another text tonight. I get a text saying "Hey.." then 10 min later another text saying "Something funny happened today. You would laugh." I swear he's like the king of breadcrumbs. I've been NC for over 3 weeks now. I told this ****er not to hit me up unless it was something important. I've just been feeling so far gone now. I don't want to look back. Now I haven't deleted/blocked him in any social medias as I told him the last time I spoke to him that I wouldn't but that we needed to stop talking for awhile. To be honest, it's because I want to prove to him that I don't need him in my life and I'll be fine not talking to him again. That I will get over him and be happy. He will see that again one day.
Recommended Posts