katieo83 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Hi! So I am new to this forum, and would love any insight/advice from you all. So, I have been out of the dating scene for 3 years, and began dating a man (lets call him A) a month ago. We are both young, and are at the age where we're transitioning into adulthood. 'A' has asked me out once per week, usually on Tuesday or Wednesday. At first I was unaware that he might be interested, until he mentioned dinner and a movie. I have fun with A, and feel very comfy around him, and I like him. A tried to kiss me, and I did reject the kiss (nervous), and he told me he's attracted to me. After the failed kiss, we cuddled for hours at his home. However, he never calls me, only texts. Furthermore, A is going to see two plays this weekend...he did not invite me. I don't know where I stand with him, though I would eventually like a relationship. He is respectful (listens well, opens doors, etc). Should I have the 'talk' with him tomorrow? Or just forget him? Any thoughts? And thanks for reading, sorry it was long!
todreaminblue Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 he is respectful polite cuddles you listens to you you feel comfortable around him he told you of his attraction its very early in the relationship yet see above........ what were the negatives again........i have forgotten...smilin atcha.......just relax a little sounds all good to me.....deb 2
KatZee Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Be careful of the "just texting." A guy who into you is going to put forth a bit more effort than that. Also, he only calls you once a week? So he just texts, and you talk once a week. It's way too soon to have "the talk" you've been out on one date with him. What you do need to ask however is what he's looking for. Don't bring up being a couple, or being together... way too soon. Do however find out if he's looking for a serious relationship or just a casual fling. The guy I was seeing was doing all of what you listed, the second I got serious on him he ghosted on me. Don't make my mistake by waiting. Find out what he's looking for before getting invested.
Author katieo83 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) It's just the whole one date a week, and little communication in between dates. And then the fact that im never part of the weekend plans. I also havent met any of his friends. I feel a bit miffed that he has not asked me to attend the plays with him. To clarify, we have gone out 4-5 times, each dates lasting about 5 Hours. It's been a month. Edited July 9, 2013 by katieo83
Eddie Edirol Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 It's just the whole one date a week, and little communication in between dates. And then the fact that im never part of the weekend plans. I also havent met any of his friends. I feel a bit miffed that he has not asked me to attend the plays with him. To clarify, we have gone out 4-5 times, each dates lasting about 5 Hours. It's been a month. if youve been rejecting kisses, then he probably thinks youre not into hi and using him for company. Youre going to have to show more interest if you want HIM to show more interest. Just going out with him isnt going to cut it. You actually have to start acting like a girlfriend and not a scared bunny rabbit. Thats all there is to it. 1
BradJacobs Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 It's just the whole one date a week, and little communication in between dates. And then the fact that im never part of the weekend plans. I also havent met any of his friends. I feel a bit miffed that he has not asked me to attend the plays with him. To clarify, we have gone out 4-5 times, each dates lasting about 5 Hours. It's been a month. Maybe he'd invite you on weekend dates if you haven't thwarted his advances? I'm not saying you needed to get naked with the chap but is kissing that intimate for you that you turned down a guy that you liked?
Author katieo83 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) if youve been rejecting kisses, then he probably thinks youre not into hi and using him for company. Youre going to have to show more interest if you want HIM to show more interest. Just going out with him isnt going to cut it. You actually have to start acting like a girlfriend and not a scared bunny rabbit. Thats all there is to it. Scared little bunny? That made me laugh :-) im just shy is all, and it made me shyer when he asked if he could kiss me. We also have not defined what we are either, and he avoids the word 'date' Edited July 9, 2013 by katieo83
BradJacobs Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 We also have not defined what we are either, and he avoids the word 'date' Right now you seem to be at an impasse. He's not hanging out with you on the weekend and you're not going to kiss him without knowing it's going somewhere. Am I right? Normally I'm against doing anything but going with the flow but if you need the definition to move forward then you're going to have to have the conversation. Otherwise all that I can see for you is frustration and eventually him disappearing because someone else showed a higher level of interest.
veggirl Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 You rejected his advances, why would he keep trying? have you ever invited HIM out? i think the ball is in your court. he probably has no idea you are interested in him. 2
shexy Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Honestly, if I tried to kiss a guy and he rejected it, I would not even put forth one further ounce of effort. He thinks you don't like him since you rejected his attempt to kiss you. You have to get over the "oh, gee, I'm so shy" thing or you'll never ever have a romantic relationship. And, he probably didn't invite you to the play because he might not have extra tickets. If we're talking a professional theater production, tickets sell out months in advance. I think between the rejecting his kiss and him just texting every once in awhile means he's not that interested in you.
hoping2heal Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Two things jumped out at me : 1. He never calls. Texts only; has ever told you not to call or can you call anytime you'd like? 2. He only wants to do things on Tuesdays or Wednesdays; are those his only days off? 2
darkmoon Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 don't have "the talk" just mention how you feel, if he wanted the talk, he would have started it, too, talking does not bring automatic agreement, no guaranteed success, you want a proper boyfriend not a once a week appointment, if he can't provide love, move swiftly on
Eddie Edirol Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 Scared little bunny? That made me laugh :-) im just shy is all, and it made me shyer when he asked if he could kiss me. We also have not defined what we are either, and he avoids the word 'date' Shyer eh? So whats the problem, you dont want to kiss him? Him asking is kind of a nono, but I can only imagine that was his gut instinct because he couldnt tell if he could just do it.
Author katieo83 Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) Right now you seem to be at an impasse. He's not hanging out with you on the weekend and you're not going to kiss him without knowing it's going somewhere. Am I right? Normally I'm against doing anything but going with the flow but if you need the definition to move forward then you're going to have to have the conversation. Otherwise all that I can see for you is frustration and eventually him disappearing because someone else showed a higher level of interest. I am concerned about kissing him because im not sure where we stand. And while i rejected him, i also told him i was nervous. The play tickets are also pretty cheap, so im not too happy with that. I could call him....but he could also call me!. Oh, and Hopingtoheal, tues and weds are just the days he asks me out. On other days hes off traveling, going to concerts, etc. Edited July 10, 2013 by katieo83
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