When did wanting to be taken care of become a bad thing?

[Els]

It became a bad thing the moment women started telling us we have two hands so we can make our own dinner.

 

I can make my own dinner, you can pull up your own chair.

 

Wait, so if I pull out a chair for a guy, he's obligated to make me dinner after?

 

Wow, that must be some trade. Hey, any guys want their chairs pulled out?

[Woggle]

I think a lot of this is a backlash against the whole I don't need a man movement and the way some women tell men they won't do anything for us because it is degrading. I think men just got sick of being told we were useless and nothing more than sperm donors and if that's the way women think of us why do anything for them? Not saying all women think like this but this mentality has certainly caused a lot of harm

[Phoe]

No, there is nothing inherently "wrong" with the traditional desire of wanting to be taken care of, as long as you are matched with a man who agrees with that ideal.

 

There is no "wrong or right" way to desire a relationship as long as you are matched with someone who shares the same view.

 

 

EVERY relationship starts to look like the "wrong way" when you're paired up with the wrong person.

 

 

I like to be taken care of, and I also like to take care of a man too. I also like to be independent and I like him to be independent. I'm very handy and can fix/build just about anything, and I'd like a man to be happy/proud/accepting of the fact that I might just do something on my own. I'd also be happy if he offered to do it and would accept. It's just a matter of being "open" to a variety of different options depending on the situation..

 

 

I'll open a door for my guy. He'll open doors for me. I'll grab him a chair to sit down, and I'll accept a chair from him. We both can cook, we can cook together, or sometimes one of us can cook while the other relaxes. No worries about equality. No worries about who does more. Sometimes I'll do more, other times he'll do more. As long as we both come into a relationship being happy to both give and receive freely, things will be quite harmonious.

[hotpotato]

Men like that are out there, though they may be older. I've dated older guys (40s), and a lot of the time they are very different from younger ones(20s).

 

I do want to be with a man who can take care of me and make me feel safe. I also want to take care of him. If a man didn't, I wouldn't bother dating him.

[crude]

Hasn't it always been a bad thing if a man wanted to be taken care of? Society would call him lazy, selfish, a loser, and more. That's exactly what women are when they want the same thing. My mother was a housewife, and really all she did was mooch. She contributed nothing, did nothing, and just lived off my stupid but productive father. I saw no merit in her laziness.

[FitChick]

I dated a guy who did all the cooking and I felt kind of useless, especially since I enjoy cooking. He'd give me money to go shopping for clothes, took me places, basically treated me very well but I felt like I had nothing to contribute besides sex. I like being helpful. Of course, perhaps my ruining an antique Regency dining table by forgetting to use a coaster turned him off of my doing any more housework.

Edited July 12, 2013 by FitChick