tbbearcat5 Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 What do you guys think... This girl is in a class with me and we have been talking and emailing off and on. A few weeks after meeting her, I decided to ask her for lunch over an email (since she didn't have a phone # available, and I didn't want to stop by her room). I didn't think asking for her number was the right thing to do yet, either. She accepted, and seemed delighted that I asked her. She told me to stop by her room, e-mail, whatever way possible to set up a time, and so, with no phone #, and since I didn't want to email her, I decided to stop by her room. Apparently, she was asleep when I stopped by...and I get an email from her later that night, saying she didn't know where I was at in this, if I wanted a relationship or friendship, which threw me for a loop. I had told myself adamantly I wasn't going to rush things, and take things slow. I sent her an email back saying I was sorry about everything, but I truly wanted a friendship with her. Well I tell my roommate about this situation, and without me knowing, goes over to her room and tells her (since I never got a reply from her) that I am really looking for just a friendship. She had told him that she didn't know what to say in response to my email. I was surprised he did that, but not really upset. He then informed me that she asked about what kind of person I was and about my hometown...which intrigued me. She told him she felt really, really bad about the misunderstanding (she thought that I thought she was a bitch, and she isn't of course) and DID want to get to know me, which made me happy. The funny thing is, he promised her not to tell me about all this, but he told me anyways. She does not know that I know, however. It has been two weeks + now since this has happened, and I have only seen her twice before today. I truly do want a friendship, and if that's all it ends up being I can and will accept that, but I am finding myself falling for her slowly, which sucks because I don't want to too fast, and set myself up for a big letdown. I feel I have handled this pretty well at the very least, keeping my distance, and only talking to her during class. I have seen signs she may like me in that way, but I don't know for sure. I asked her again today if she wanted to get lunch, and she said she would, but that she was going to be out of town this weekend and appreciated that I asked. I told her to email me next week if she wanted to meet up, and she said okay to that. So, I think things are going to be ok. Maybe she was just waiting for me to ask her...? Who knows. Thanks, and feel free to ask any ?'s
Sukotto Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Well all relationships should start out with a good friendship, tell her that if she ever brings it up again. Something along the lines of "Well friends just now, but who knows what will happen in the future" that should be enough to at least let her know that your interested. I'd give her your phone number in the next email, its much easier to say just give me a call when you get back and we'll sort out lunch rather than give me your phone number
Author tbbearcat5 Posted October 21, 2004 Author Posted October 21, 2004 She has my phone #. I sent it in an email a week or so ago. And the fact that I am interested has been established...I guess the gist of what I was asking in the first post is that if she is really interested, and just not letting it show, or she is shy or something like that. Or maybe she is trying to avoid me...but I honestly don't think that's it, just due to what my roomie has said about her. She had also told my roommate when they talked that she wasn't looking for a relationship at the time...which is just fine. Like you said, all good relationships start out with friendship anyways. Thanks for the input, feel free to respond
Sukotto Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Ah well its hard to tell, woman are fickle things. Never presume something as it will always come back to bite you in the ass. I suggest you just keep it casual then and try to organise something else other than lunch. Maybe you could work together on stuff from class, good excuse to just to get to hang out for a bit. Then you could try going to a bar and just doing friendly things thats all I can really suggest. Her feelings will become apparent over time as you get to know her and she might open up a little when she feels comfortable around you.
Author tbbearcat5 Posted October 21, 2004 Author Posted October 21, 2004 Originally posted by Sukotto women are fickle things Well said, lol Originally posted by Sukotto Maybe you could work together on stuff from class, good excuse to just to get to hang out for a bit. I just remembered I have a presentation that we will be starting on in that class in about a month...I may have her listen to it to see what she thinks of it...and listen to hers and give my input on it.
Author tbbearcat5 Posted October 21, 2004 Author Posted October 21, 2004 Originally posted by tbbearcat5 I asked her again today if she wanted to get lunch, and she said she would, but that she was going to be out of town this weekend and appreciated that I asked. I told her to email me next week if she wanted to meet up, and she said okay to that. Already done, just have to wait until she gets back.
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