LostGirl11 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 You've probably read my other threads about my depression and anxiety. Seems like I can't get a handle on it no matter what I do. It's effecting my day to day life and it's draining me massively. I'm hardly going out because of it and I dread every day. While all this is going on it seems like my ex is having a whale of a time, things are going well for him and luck is his best friend right now. I don't know why but this is making it harder for me to get back on track. He's the nasty person, he should be riddled with guilt and the one that should be having a hard time. It really upsets me that I struggle to get through the day and that I don't have much planned, nor am I in the right frame of mind to plan anything! I'm at home, alone and in a bad place while he is having the time of his life. I think things like 'so here's me, sat here on this lovely day, I bet he's doing this or that' blah blah blah. Which of course doesn't help my mood. It's funny, I've been doing ok but everything has hit me like a ton of bricks these last few days. I just can't see a way out. Everyone knows me to be 'tough cookie' little do they know...
SimonSerenade Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that darling, I can relate, I suffer depression and anxiety, I struggle just to get out and about let alone anything else, it's made this break up just that much harder, she was over me the day she left, since I've known her I've never known her to show any form of weakness. I was hobbling out and about today and saw her, she blanked me and went on her merry way like I never existed, my heart jumped up through my throat, it was horrible, had to get to the side streets to get home and couldn't help but cry on the way back, like you I have a tough care free front but underneath all that I feel like a ship lost at sea just waiting to sink. She's moved on, she's probably out there right now meeting up with new guys and having a good time, not even a thought or a care about what she left behind, I doubt she's even cried once since she left, as for me, as soon as my tennancy agreement is up I'm moving out of town just to try and forget that she ever existed in the first place. Love isn't fair sometimes especially when you have a run of days like this, I've been coping really well but after seeing her, it brings it all back, we just have to stay strong and ride out the storm, in my experience it does pass but unfortunately not fast enough especially when you have other problems in your life to focus on.
Author LostGirl11 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) I'm sorry to hear that darling, I can relate, I suffer depression and anxiety, I struggle just to get out and about let alone anything else, it's made this break up just that much harder, she was over me the day she left, since I've known her I've never known her to show any form of weakness. I was hobbling out and about today and saw her, she blanked me and went on her merry way like I never existed, my heart jumped up through my throat, it was horrible, had to get to the side streets to get home and couldn't help but cry on the way back, like you I have a tough care free front but underneath all that I feel like a ship lost at sea just waiting to sink. She's moved on, she's probably out there right now meeting up with new guys and having a good time, not even a thought or a care about what she left behind, I doubt she's even cried once since she left, as for me, as soon as my tennancy agreement is up I'm moving out of town just to try and forget that she ever existed in the first place. Love isn't fair sometimes especially when you have a run of days like this, I've been coping really well but after seeing her, it brings it all back, we just have to stay strong and ride out the storm, in my experience it does pass but unfortunately not fast enough especially when you have other problems in your life to focus on. I'm sorry you're having a hard time too, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this. I wish I could advice you, but I'm in no place to. I wish I could just 'snap out of it' I'm normally good at self talking but I can't even do that now, I don't mean to sound morbid but it feels like everything in me is about to give up.... Why do I want to reach out to him!! He's my source of pain yet he's the only one that could help me right now so I'm getting all these crazy urges to contact him. I won't though. Edited July 9, 2013 by LostGirl11
Oldcatskinner Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) You've probably read my other threads about my depression and anxiety. Seems like I can't get a handle on it no matter what I do. It's effecting my day to day life and it's draining me massively. I'm hardly going out because of it and I dread every day. While all this is going on it seems like my ex is having a whale of a time, things are going well for him and luck is his best friend right now. I don't know why but this is making it harder for me to get back on track. [/Quote] Hey there! I was looking at your post, and something jumped at me. You are in the habit of your ex's behavior affecting your livelihood. I've been guilty of this, and as long as you practice this behavior, you WILL be depressed. Remember, you have your OWN identity, and are of worth! He's the nasty person, he should be riddled with guilt and the one that should be having a hard time. Perhaps. Ask yourself this: Are you a caring person yourself? How selfish are you? See, it is natural to wish misery on others when you yourself are miserable. I think this is why some of these boards exist! Go back and look at the posts throughout the years, and you will see that the story never changes, but only the players. The ones that have moved on don't want anything to do with this place. It is for healing! It really upsets me that I struggle to get through the day and that I don't have much planned, nor am I in the right frame of mind to plan anything! I'm at home, alone and in a bad place while he is having the time of his life. It is good that this upsets you! Now go do something about it! Get busy, and get happy! You are alone-what better way to improve yourself. I think things like 'so here's me, sat here on this lovely day, I bet he's doing this or that' blah blah blah. Which of course doesn't help my mood. Go do something that is more fun than what you think he might be doing. There might be a chance that it is! It's funny, I've been doing ok but everything has hit me like a ton of bricks these last few days. I just can't see a way out. Everyone knows me to be 'tough cookie' little do they know... Tough is relative. As an engineer, I know that a piece of hardened steel is brittle, and will shatter when stricken a blow. Steel that has been annealed has been heat tempered to keep its tensile strength as well as add some flexibility to it. Anneal yourself. Don't get so hard that you crack up when life deals you. Edited July 9, 2013 by Oldcatskinner 1
SimonSerenade Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I wish I could advise you too but I'm feeling the same, I don't want her back but I'd love to hear that she's been having a hard time without me as well, like you the urge to contact her and spill my guts is strong but I won't either, I just hate that I feel that way, I try to talk myself up but no matter how horrible she has been, there's always a feeling of longing there, sort of puts you off even trying with anybody else don't it?.
youngnlove89 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 When my bf and I broke up I was extremely depressed and had bad anxiety. I had supra ventricular tachycardia (which is just a fancy way of saying fast heart rate). My blood pressure was higher, I was panicking, I was sad, crying, moody etc. I was on Viibryd which helped a lot, but made me break out really bad. Then on Celexa which I haven't taken yet because I'm afraid of breaking out. Xanax works though if you want to just go to bed. As soon as my boyfriend and I got back together, my health got better. My pulse is now in the 60's (compared to the 100+ it was at), my blood pressure is normal again and I feel so much better. It's crazy and sad what heartbreak can do to you. Are the meds helping at all? What are you doing to make yourself feel better? Have you tried going to the gym? Talking to a therapist? Going out with friends? Reading books?
Author LostGirl11 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Hey there! I was looking at your post, and something jumped at me. You are in the habit of your ex's behavior affecting your livelihood. I've been guilty of this, and as long as you practice this behavior, you WILL be depressed. Remember, you have your OWN identity, and are of worth! Perhaps. Ask yourself this: Are you a caring person yourself? How selfish are you? See, it is natural to wish misery on others when you yourself are miserable. I think this is why some of these boards exist! Go back and look at the posts throughout the years, and you will see that the story never changes, but only the players. The ones that have moved on don't want anything to do with this place. It is for healing! It is good that this upsets you! Now go do something about it! Get busy, and get happy! You are alone-what better way to improve yourself. Go do something that is more fun than what you think he might be doing. There might be a chance that it is! Tough is relative. As an engineer, I know that a piece of hardened steel is brittle, and will shatter when stricken a blow. Steel that has been annealed has been heat tempered to keep its tensile strength as well as add some flexibility to it. Anneal yourself. Don't get so hard that you crack up when life deals you. Yes, I'm guilty of that habbit. I wish I didn't give a **** about what he is or isn't doing. I'm a decent person yeah, I'm not going to bang on about how great I am though, I'm just normal person that proably cares a little too much actually. I just don't get how nasty people sleep at night and are dealt good luck. Life I guess.... Believe me, I thought me being like this while he's loving life would give me the drive to get out of this funk! It's actually made me worse!
Author LostGirl11 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 When my bf and I broke up I was extremely depressed and had bad anxiety. I had supra ventricular tachycardia (which is just a fancy way of saying fast heart rate). My blood pressure was higher, I was panicking, I was sad, crying, moody etc. I was on Viibryd which helped a lot, but made me break out really bad. Then on Celexa which I haven't taken yet because I'm afraid of breaking out. Xanax works though if you want to just go to bed. As soon as my boyfriend and I got back together, my health got better. My pulse is now in the 60's (compared to the 100+ it was at), my blood pressure is normal again and I feel so much better. It's crazy and sad what heartbreak can do to you. Are the meds helping at all? What are you doing to make yourself feel better? Have you tried going to the gym? Talking to a therapist? Going out with friends? Reading books? Yeah, it is sad. He is the only person that could make me feel human right now, even though he had me in tears with the mind games most of the time, at least I had him. I love him so much! How can I love someone that treats me like nothing? The meds were working, that worked pretty much straight away, I was doing too okay, if that makes sense. I've been on Sertraline for 4 weeks now and now feel like they're not doing their job. I read in the leaflet that after 4 weeks you're prone to feeling worse! I'm on a higher doseage now, so we'll see.... I'm not going to lie, I'm not doing much to help myself. Going to the doctors in the first place was a big step for me. Waking up, showering ect is enough to wear me out! Even though I'm not doing anything to help myself I feel a huge pressure to be happier than my ex!
supaflyz Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I have depression and anxiety myself. I also had a really tough time dealing with my breakup. It was the worse the first 2 weeks. I just didn't know what to do. Luckily my friends were there and I went to talk there.
Emilio1321 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 I'm sorry you're having a hard time too, it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this. I wish I could advice you, but I'm in no place to. I wish I could just 'snap out of it' I'm normally good at self talking but I can't even do that now, I don't mean to sound morbid but it feels like everything in me is about to give up.... Why do I want to reach out to him!! He's my source of pain yet he's the only one that could help me right now so I'm getting all these crazy urges to contact him. I won't though. I feel I could have wrote this about her. I pray I don't wake up every night. I want to hurt my self just to feel a different pain.
jesse93 Posted July 30, 2013 Posted July 30, 2013 You've probably read my other threads about my depression and anxiety. Seems like I can't get a handle on it no matter what I do. It's effecting my day to day life and it's draining me massively. I'm hardly going out because of it and I dread every day. While all this is going on it seems like my ex is having a whale of a time, things are going well for him and luck is his best friend right now. I don't know why but this is making it harder for me to get back on track. He's the nasty person, he should be riddled with guilt and the one that should be having a hard time. It really upsets me that I struggle to get through the day and that I don't have much planned, nor am I in the right frame of mind to plan anything! I'm at home, alone and in a bad place while he is having the time of his life. I think things like 'so here's me, sat here on this lovely day, I bet he's doing this or that' blah blah blah. Which of course doesn't help my mood. It's funny, I've been doing ok but everything has hit me like a ton of bricks these last few days. I just can't see a way out. Everyone knows me to be 'tough cookie' little do they know... Hey, i'm sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time.. i too have had anxiety pretty much all my life but it didn't start getting bad until 2 years ago, it hit me hard to the point where i would shelter myself i wouldn't go outside i lost all my real friends and i then became depressed, the anxiety settled down a bit to the point where i could cope but not enough to live a normal life. My ex broke up with me a week ago and all this anxiety and depression came over me like a blanket worse than its been in a long time. i would go to sleep with my heart beat going a million mph and i wake up every day with a panic attack about to burst into tears, its even worse because i keep having dreams about her.. dreams of her moving on.. her being happy without me. but I've decided to try and fix it i'm going to a counselor hopefully this week.. and going to see a doctor this friday to see what he thinks. i also started working out tonight.. and i must say i feel amazing after working out, I understand you're in a situation where you don't feel like anything will make you happy.. but if you ever feel you have a burst of energy, try and go for a jog i promise you it will keep your mind off your ex for the time being and it helps you feel better/more confident in yourself. give it a shot, best of luck you'll be ok just keep your head up one day at a time.. it'll get easier i promise.
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