Decode these texts between MM & OW

[HopingAgain]

LGOW. DMMs family knew about me and that he was in an A with me. I knew some of his siblings before I met him. His M and I met and got along great. They knew he hadn't been really happy for a long time. His M loved me but hated what he was doing to his W. She actually created one of the ddays. When I ended things with him she and I stayed in contact and now that we're together she and I have a great R. I spent time with his family and started strong Rs with them way back then.

 

It does happen.

 

But you have to admit this is rooted in dysfunction. If an entire family can go about deceiving someone in that manner, it is not only morally wrong, it's just disturbing and makes you wonder what the family unit as a whole is capable of. Unfortunately, you will never be able to trust any of them because should your former MM become unhappy again, what is to stop them from once more covering for him with a new OW?

[beach]

If his family know about the A and love you, why can't you talk to any of them about it?

 

Because its more fun and exciting when it's all a secret.

 

Ether way - you have reduced your expectations to a low level of not having any value in yourself. That same level of not getting YOUR needs met but being willing to sacrifice yourself to make him happy.

 

Read up on co dependency.

 

You need to value yourself more.

[Summer Breeze]

But you have to admit this is rooted in dysfunction. If an entire family can go about deceiving someone in that manner, it is not only morally wrong, it's just disturbing and makes you wonder what the family unit as a whole is capable of. Unfortunately, you will never be able to trust any of them because should your former MM become unhappy again, what is to stop them from once more covering for him with a new OW?

 

No I actually don't have to admit it is rooted in dysfunction. As I said his M was unhappy enough with his actions she told his W. She talked to some of his siblings and none of them liked what he was doing to her and they backed her. She gave him the choice of coming clean on his own. She told me what she was doing. He didn't and she did. They supported him but not what he did and they acted against it. His W thanked his M and said she preferred not knowing. His M was surprised but never said another word to his W about it again.

 

My trust with them is fine thanks. And as far as him becoming unhappy again. We're slowing down on it but counselling has taught us both lots about ourselves. I don't worry about him being unhappy at all. If he does cheat on me I'll walk away like I did a lot of years ago when I found out my xH did.

[So happy together]

You think I'm lying? I have nobody to talk to during this A.

 

I'm sure I'm not the first OW to fall madly in love with her MM, maybe the first to have a MM/stbxH incident, I'm trying not to hold back, hopefully in the future I can get my ducks in a row and other OW experiencing the same will know they are not the only ones going through this.

 

If there is an easy button in A's I sure havn't found it, if there is an easy button in life... havnt found that one either. But this is my story, I'm not 100% proud of the past year, but I'm working on getting to a point where I can be proud of myself and my choices.

 

back a couple months ago before I found LS, I was even more lost and confused if you can imagine that, I considered myself his SO, I saw our R as a beautiful love story. Now I see that's only the reality during the peaks when we're together, and waking up to the harsh reality that between those peaks are dark lonely valleys.

 

This IS my story & struggle, take it or leave it... I'm not trying to hold back information to make it seem to conform more to what anybody wants to hear.

 

 

I don't think it's that nobody wants to hear it... I think that it is just so damned outlandish, and most of us (me included) would not put up with that shyte for one minute.

 

If this is your story and you want help, we'll try, but you can expect to also get your a$$ kicked a little, believe me, it happens to me every freakin' day on this site. But, you take what helps and dump the rest in the circular file.