SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 So I posted a thread in the cheating forum about how I discovered my now ex gf was sneaking around behind my back for a month with my friend. When I found out about the relationship (went through her phone after I got a weird feeling) and confronted her, she moved out and has been sleeping with him. Went NC for 2 weeks and was miserable, then broke NC for 2 days and were texting constantly about how we missed each other and she was sorry and yada yada yada. Even though I want her back in a lot of ways, she cheated on me and is not just sleeping with this "friend", she said she slept with a woman too. With the weird state of mind she's in, she 's probably gonna start dating the friend tho. I could never take her back after she's disrespected me like this. ANYWAYS, I went NC again 3 days ago and at 4:30 am every night I get an "I miss you" text. Last night was, "are you at our house?" What does it mean? Breadcrumbs? Just a lonely crazy girl? Mind games? All I know is I am gonna keep NC, but it's weird that Im getting these things like clockwork everynight. Breakups suck!
almond Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 You want this girl out of your life, and you want it to stay that way. She seems like a mess, it's sad It's also not your problem, and her treatment of you is inexcusable. She is toxic. Ignore her messages at all costs. If possible, change your phone number. Do not respond or contact her under any circumstances. 2
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 And what's really odd is the time that she's sending these texts. 4:30AM? Like you're really going to be awake to answer them. I think she might be drunk dialing you.
almond Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 It's certainly odd. It may be mind games, it may be that she is trying to get some odd message across, it may be that she has lost the plot entirely. Either way, anything here would be speculation, and focusing on it is not in the OP's best interests IMO. Don't even bother thinking about it. Try your best not to let her behaviour effect you. Again, change your number if possible, or look into blocking hers.
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 well, her new guy's house is on the way to my work so this morning I just looked in the driveway and her car was there, so she's still sleeping with him. so what's really creepy is that she's sending me these texts at 4:30 am from the OM's house. I am staying NC, just wish she'd get the claws out of me completely!
eddyctv Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 well, her new guy's house is on the way to my work so this morning I just looked in the driveway and her car was there, so she's still sleeping with him. so what's really creepy is that she's sending me these texts at 4:30 am from the OM's house. I am staying NC, just wish she'd get the claws out of me completely! You should forward the texts to her new guy. 1
almond Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I am staying NC, just wish she'd get the claws out of me completely! Take the steps to ensure that she can no longer contact you then - simple. You should forward the texts to her new guy. Do not do this. Their life has nothing to do with yours any longer. Aim to make her a complete non-issue in every way.
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 And she knows you're leaving in less than two weeks. How long is this tour going to be, by the way?
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) It's not so much that they are still sleeping together, cos that's been a s*hitty reality I've had to deal with since this happened. It's that in her texts to me when I broke NC, she said she had cut him off and that she wishes she'd never gotten with him...so she's lying now and she doesnt even have to. it's also that she is texting me this stuff while in his house. I would forward it to him but that guy is just dead to me entirely. in my stupid brain, I'd hoped she'd just dump him, take some time to herself yada yada. I realize that her life is not mine anymore, it's just that when you're dumped I think you want those late night texts to at least validate that you are missed and there is some remorse. To know she's twisted and screwed up in the head just hurts. I don't know her anymore. It's like she was possessed. The tour is for 2 weeks..it's not for a month or so tho Chi Town (also, dude thanks for all your help through this)..should be fun! I got a date on Saturday with a longtime crush but she's going through a breakup and I'm damaged goods....so I'm not expecting anything and I wouldnt want to turn her into a rebound. I guess I got to roll solo for a while. Hopefully I'll come out better for all this. Edited July 9, 2013 by SMALLTOWNBLUES
Minneloa Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Sorry you are hurting, OP, & that you are receiving pointless breadcrumbs. That said, my advice is simple: Block her number. Boom. Done. 1
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 my phone is one of those cheapo models and I doesnt even have a block option. time to upgrade!
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) Dude, no problem! Here's the deal, she's now realizing that you're moving on with your life without her. She was probably convinced that you were going to be a big bag of slobbering goo and someone that she needed to pity. But, you blew her out of the water by showing that her crappy behavior isn't going to bring you down! She knows that you're going to leave po-dunk North Carolina and going to Seattle and all up and down the west coast! That's awesome! If you're going on tour as their Merch Manager, take it and run! Sell everything that they have. Keep track and accurate records. Give them the bad news that you need more merchandise because you sold everything! If you do a bang up job, they're never going to want any other Manager to run their products. Then, maybe the next tour will be up and down the eastern seaboard! AND you'll be getting paid to do it!!! That's amazing! You're seeing a lot of Indy bands that aren't signed doing a lot of tours. And, even though they're not signed by a label, they are picking up sponsors instead. Wouldn't it be awesome if they got sponsorship for a European tour! Key crew that usually goes with them is the equipment manager, the tour manager and the merch manager. So, while you're away, pick up the new ethios of work hard and play hard! When you're not working, EXPLORE!!! See Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, Napa, Los Angeles and not from the tour bus! Take a TON of pictures and post them! Let folks know what a GREAT time you're having! And when you get back, plan your next adventure! Oh, and not to bring you down from this, but didn't she tell you that she wasn't seeing your asshat of a friend anymore or anyone else for that matter? I guess you can add this to the stack of lies that comes out of her mouth! Dude, start planning for your adventure! Make sure you have a little nest egg saved up for it. Edited July 9, 2013 by Chi townD 1
Author SMALLTOWNBLUES Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Yeah, That's what I was saying! She is lying to me now to keep some form of contact with me cos she knows if she's with that guy then I wont speak to her. Now that she's been caught in another lie, I'm done with her. May change my number but def. not responding or caring if she hits me up. She's lost and maybe the sex with new guy is good but they will be miserable one day. I'm looking forward to staying busy and just getting away from the crazy. That said, I am considering seeing a sex therapist or a regular therapist. She thrashed my male ego pretty hard. Maybe I'm not terrible in the sack, maybe she just had so much resentment and ill will towards me we just never connected that way towards the end. Either way, it's been 3 years since someone else and I'm all up in my head about it. I don't want to be that sad lay that some girl brings home from the bar. I got to get my mind right. Anyways, yeah I'm excited about that tour. The band is pretty well known, so the shows should be fun. Either way, it'll be nice to see some sights.
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