MorganDreamer Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Hi, This story is about the 2 persons, and this post is related to other posts I did post on this site earlier. Well I am going to start it with the first person (my friend) ... This post is not entirely about the dating, but partly of it ... I hope you guys can give me advices which I need to know, and please don't judge me after all these things I am going to tell you guys... This girl is(was) friend of mine for 4 years, more or less, she added me on facebook 4 years ago. She is 15, I am 21 (I am 6 years older than her). When we first met on Facebook, she just said 'hi', we got to know one another, and we talked just a little. After those years passed by, me and her got to be closer and she started telling me her secrets which she never told anyone. I was wondering why she did, but I had the idea that she didn't know me so, she didn't have to be embarrassed about what she say... We became best friends, and these last two years we got to be so close, and she started calling me sister so, we became sisters for life. We talked every day, we always talked heart to heart. She was not afraid to tell me her top secrets, and I was not afraid to tell her mine. She was my BFF, I know she loved me, I loved her so much too. By the way we still haven't met each other yet ... This may sound stupid about two girls who loved each other so much when they have never met, but this was true. I think, it was because we both felt like we could truly trust each other ... This girl has been through so many messes of her life since she was so young. I understand her, and I really wanted to help as much as I could, and I had been there comforting, helping her. I must say that she is the most depressing girl I have ever met (I will never ever judge her or anyone, but she talked to me everyday telling me about her depressions). She is a suicidal person, she cuts, but she has been better off lately. She used to cut a lot right before we met (She told me that). Every day we talked she got depressed about her life, and was about to cut. Every time and everyday whenever she got depressed I would spend all my time texting with her, we skyped, video chatted, and voice called lota times. Sometimes we spent like 6 hours straight or more texting with each other ... I really, I couldn't leave her alone when she got sad. I really did care about her. I was in tears when I knew that she was put into the foster care, and she had to move to live with strangers called foster family. I lied in bed that night when her step mom texted me to let me know. I cried and imagined how she would be in there, she might be so lonely, and I really wanted to go pick her up, but I couldn't. She needs love, she needs to be loved. This girl has been growing up without her parents, she lived with her grandparents until she was put into the foster care last year. There are many more things about her life, but I think it's not good to say... She always thanked me and told me that I was the only person who care about her, and I made her a better person... I know I did ... By the way She made me be a better person as well, she made me want to help her and help other people when they are in troubles. I feel good helping her and whenever I knew that she felt happy, I was happy too. It was like I wanted nothing from her but to see that she gets better ... She was here helping me when I was down too, but I am a kind of person who keeps their feelings. I didn't say much when I was depressed. But I get depressed lot of times as well, well, I guess everyone is like this. But whenever I got down, she was here to pick me up too ... I am an asian by the way, I live all the way in asia. But I love America. My biggest dream is visiting the USA. And I promised her that if I could go to a college in USA and after graduate, if I get a job I would have to with me. She would live with me and I would work hard for her college. That was my plan, I would fly to hers when she was sad, if I could, but I couldn't. This is the reason. But the point is she had been putting me down a lot lately. And I was getting tired because I felt like every thing I had done for her was not enough, and all my words could not help her any more, and she just didn't listen to me any more. I know that she has many depressions and she has her problems. But I have mine too... I am 21, senior university student, this is my last year and I have only 8 months until I finish. I have many final projects to be done, I am under so much pressures, because final projects are freaking difficult, I study hard, and I started to think that maybe I can not do it. But I have to do it because I can't disappoint my parents. Plus I am not healthy, I have been sick, and I have this insomnia because of those depressions. I can't sleep in any more because I have been thinking too much all the time about things in my life. And my love life is getting worse and blahhhh. When she is on her summer break, She is 15, never understand how hard time I am facing .... I have been so busy lately, and when she texted me and I didn't texted back right away, she got mad, and started blaming me, telling me that I never cared about her, telling me that I never understood. I was holding on, and was trying to be calm, I had been nice, I tried to be as much as I could. But those things I have done just come undone ... She always wanted my attentions and when I was not be able to give her then she blocked me out of her life. She blocked me on her facebook and deleted me, but after 3days she came back, and told me how much she missed me, and we did get back together. Sometimes, a lot of times she said mean things to me and I tried not to care, I tried to think that she did it because she wanted my attentions. But after all those times she did I couldn't stand it anymore, so I turned out being mean back to her All my friends have told me that I should stop texting her, but I didn't listen to them. I knew that all my friends didn't know her like I did. But I am starting to think that my friends were right, and I just broke it down today... I will tell you the things she had done - She always said that I never cared about her, or understood, when I had been here comforting her, slept late, never focused on class, hardly talked to my friends when we had lunch together, because I was busy texting her. I was put under pressure when my phone died or when I lost wifi or service, because I worried that she would think that I ignore her. - She said that I was her best friend, but she always compared herself to me. She thought that I was skinnier than her, and she got depressed because she didn't want me to be skinnier than her. (just think this is what best friend is supposed to do?) - She always told me that she had very great times with others, such as "I was spending my day with ....., and she was so awesome, she was so nice and we talked for hours. I told her my secrets that i have never told anyone, even you don't know it. It doesn't matter you know it or not LOL. She is my best friend" .... ( I was fine and happy knowing something like that for the first time. I wanted her to have friends, and I liked it when she got one, but after many many times she did like this, I know WHAT she was trying to say... she was trying to get me jealous, and she was trying to put me down by mentioning someone that better than me .. in fact it didn't bother me if she has better friends, but it bothered me when I tried to answer myself why she has to do this. I was just tired and thought that was stupid) - She texted my guy, and said that to me, like she always said how nice my guy was, and how much he helped her, and how happy she was twxting with him ... This thing did bother me a lot. And thing were worse when it comes to three of us. She always mentioned me to him. She always tried to bring me up when she talked to him, and I told her over ten times that I didn't like it, I didn't like to be a third person in their conversion. ( I was mental ) - She always wanted me to understand her feelings, I told her I did understand, but maybe not all of them because I was not her "we are not the same person" I told her that. But I had been trying to understand, and I am the understanding person, because I used to have my mental illness as well when i was younger. I told her how bad my life was when I was young, to make she feel better about her life. I didn't want her to feel alone ... I have told her many times that "I wouldn't be here if I don't care" ... Our time is 13 hours apart and she got depressed at night, that was my day time, my class time. I texted her at classes. I didn't listen to the professors, because I couldn't leave her alone. ETC ... Man, I am so tired. She made me cry when she said something so mean to me. She is an american, I know most of you guys are americans. But I am wondering if AMERICANS are like this. I doubt it because I don't think all of you guys are like this ... She told me that if I think she is selfish then I haven't been to USA. And she told me to stay in my country because no one in america wants me. AMERICA is my biggest dream, and I am going to visit in 8 months, but she has ruined my confidence. I have another thing ... everyone of you guys who have replied to my posts, didn't agree with me to that idea of me dating a 35yold guy. And I haven't said "THANK YOU" too all of you yet... Thank you so much for all of your comments/advices, I really appreciate it. >>> but I have this to say >>> Last week this girl texted this guy (a guy I love) and kinda told him about how depressed she was, and the reason she was sad it's because of me ... a week ago this guy texted me and ask why I didn't talk to this girl (my friend)... Just think he should be worried about be, but he didn't. He was worried about her and asked me that way, made me feel like I am very bad person. Well, he already thinks that I am a bad girl now. He thinks that I bullied a little girl. And I will never go text him and use my defenses. I have never used my defenses when someone thought that I was a bad person because it was useless, and I know who I am. My friend said I should do it to protect myself... But I don't have to make someone believe that I am a nice person. In my opinion, that is a coward ... This guy hasn't texted me back for a week now, but texted that girl to not to advertise it to me if they talk until I learn to control my emotions. I am so bad in his eye. I just think I should leave them both. Well, I kinda do. I feel lonely without them, but this is the best way because I don't want to get hurt anymore .... On the other hand I think "or I was wrong" ... I am older than her, so should I be patient and stay calm and stay like this to comfort her???. She is so young and maybe she doesn't understand people. I don't know, I feel guilty leaving her, but I don't know what to do anymore. All my friends said I should leave her because she was the one who ruined my life, she put me down and she messed up with my relationship with a guy. But I don't want to choose this guy instead of her tho ..... Please help
darkmoon Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) "Last week this girl texted this guy (a guy I love) and kinda told him about how depressed she was, and the reason she was sad it's because of me .." tell the guy the truth, in a calm manner "But I don't want to choose this guy instead of her tho ....." why not? my dealbreaker is being put down, see "But the point is she had been putting me down a lot lately" so say goodbye, to her and her insults - please Edited July 9, 2013 by darkmoon 1
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