theedge Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I am curious to know how people are when they sleep in the same bed with somoene new or in general with a significant other. Do you have sex, cuddle for a while then roll over? When your going to sleep, do you like them touching you? I have been with a few different personalities. I have some that roll over and don't want to be touched, some that have to be touching you to sleep comfortable. If your the type not liking to be touched or having arms under you, do you tell them? So whats your take on it?
Papillon Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I think any rational person will accept that people bother each other when their bodies and minds are trying to shut down. That said, I absolute adore cuddling and kissing for hours, or just holding hands, or massaging scalp, or just lying there, back to back, or spooning. I like touching, even if it's just a toe.
bluechocolate Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I don't mind cuddling, but when the time comes to go to sleep it is very rare that I can do that if someone is touching me or I them. I have to "assume the position" in order to fall asleep & the position doesn't include any extra arms or legs !
Sukotto Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Hugs usually we both sleep on her sides so one person just through the arm over and usually she'd throw a leg over or she's sleep with her head resting on my chest, though I've woken up at night thinking i was having a heart attack and it was just she'd rolled over and was lieing on the centre of my chest.
bluetuesday Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 i'm all for touching and holding but when it comes time to actually sleep i'd prefer to do it without arms under me, over me or around me. but touching, feeling their warmth in the bed is lovely. and during sleep, even if we've started off poles apart, i often re-entwine myself with them and wake up all snuggly so i must like the closeness. my genuine preference though, is to have the bed all to myself because i sleep better. i wouldn't have a relationship with anyone too fragile to have this suggestion at least run past them. also i'm a horrible wriggler and my favourite sleeping position is the starfish. which some men find annoying. i gave one man a black eye by flinging my arm at his head once.
Author theedge Posted October 21, 2004 Author Posted October 21, 2004 I am actually not used to sleeping in the same bed as someone, so its taking some gettig used to. The girl I am seeing is the type who loves to touch ie arm under me, around me, on top of me. She falls alseep in seconds and doesn't move, where as I am not as lucky. I am restless, shifty and figity, with or with out someone. When she puts her arm under my neck I usually get head aches and one time she slept with her arm over my side. When she had her arm over my side I woke up feeling like someone punctured my lung lol I am just hoping I get used to it lol
EC Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I like touching, even if it's just a toe. ME TOO!! I love it it's like our feet search under the covers for eachother...awe I miss my bf... I love my bf it's like we can read echother..sometimes we want to roll over and just sleep (but touching toes) or sometimes we sleep cuddled so tight I can't breathe. Sometimes when we get into little arguments and are mad at eachother I know he's really not that mad because we'll be on other sides of the bed but his feet will come searching for mine.. lol and then I know we'll be ok. But no matter what he has to play with my hair for like 5 min so that I can get sleepy...like pap said massaging scalp kinda thing. Or I'll lay my head on his chest and rub his belly..lol
Naive Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 When I sleep with someone there has to be some type of contact, if not might as well sleep in different beds!!!
Merin Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Crap! I'm not sleeping with anyone So sad for me! LOL I don't mind sleeping next to someone... I found though that when I was sleeping with my bf (LDR ugh! so doesn't happen often) I would wake up unable to move because his legs would be over me... He outwieghs me by a bunch LOL so yeah.. I miss it though....
imjustagirl Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 When my boyfriend and I go to sleep, it always starts out the same: 1. Each takes turns in the bathoom, brushing teeth and what not 2. He has to turn on the nightlight in the bathroom (evidently he still can't find anything at night after living there for over a year...plus he says he likes to see down the hallway if he hears something..he's very paranoid...but i love him) 3. He turns on the radio...he has to listen to talk radio all night 4. He has to get a glass of water for the nightstand...in case he gets thirsty 5. Finally, after we're already and in bed, we'll start out on our seperate sides, and after he's finally turned out the light on the nightstand, he'll reach over and grab my hand. From there, we'll say our love you's and tell each other what we liked about spending our day together (we broke up for a few months and are currently close to month 5 of being back together)...it's just our way of working on our communication issues we had had before...not that we dont' tell each other during the day, but it's just reinterated right before we fall asleep. 6. After we finish our talk, or close to the end, I'll roll over on my side, still holding his hand, and rub my other hand over his chest (it makes both of us go to sleep), we'll sometimes play footsie too. Once he starts doing this twitch thing that he does right before he's about ready to crash, i'll roll over onto my back, still holding his hand. At some point from me trying to position myself around the cat (she likes to sleep in between my feet, on my feet, or in between us...never in between his feet or on him), I'll fall asleep and he'll then roll over and put his arm over me and cuddle. Several times throughout the night, one of us will be drapped over the other, we've even woke up either holding hands, making out, or having sex (it's weird!). Then we set the alarm 20 minutes prior to either one of us even thinking about getting up. At which point, we (mainly i) get one big long cuddle in before work where he tells me he loves me and how he loves waking up next to me because that's when he gets to see me at my best (with bed head...i don't understand why)... Neither one of us gets any sleep when he works the night shift for 2 weeks every 6 mths. He tries to sleep during the day, but it won't work, I try to sleep in the evening and set the alarm before he gets off work, that way i can see him for a few hours, but 9 times out of 10 we'll end up in bed just cuddling and within an hour, we're both sound asleep. So.....that's how it goes on our end.
ps123 Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 This is actually one way I can tell how much I really like someone. When its time for sleep, if I really like the person, I like putting my arms around her, spooning, having her put her head on my chest, whatever. Sometimes Ill get too hot (as in tempature ) but usually its ok. A drawback is that Im a light sleeper so when she moves, etc., it sometimes wakes me up. I also like moving my hand up and down her back and lightly in her hair till she falls asleep, although somtimes this gets her a little worked up and then we end up not sleeping for a while . If I dont feel the desire to hold them when Im going to sleep, then this usually helps me realize that Im really not falling in love with that person yet.
Naive Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Originally posted by ps123 This is actually one way I can tell how much I really like someone. When its time for sleep, if I really like the person, I like putting my arms around her, spooning, having her put her head on my chest, whatever. Sometimes Ill get too hot (as in tempature ) but usually its ok. A drawback is that Im a light sleeper so when she moves, etc., it sometimes wakes me up. I also like moving my hand up and down her back and lightly in her hair till she falls asleep, although somtimes this gets her a little worked up and then we end up not sleeping for a while . If I dont feel the desire to hold them when Im going to sleep, then this usually helps me realize that Im really not falling in love with that person yet. Awwwwwwwwwwwww that's so sweet
EC Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Aweeeee you guys are making me miss my bf sooo bad... Merin I feel you..Everyone knows I have and LDR lol so I love when we can sleep in the same bed.. He rubs my back lightly too and I get worked up sometimes lol ..... My fav is afternoon naps...lol...like little kids we get sleepy in the afternoon and we start off to take a nap but end up foolong around and then passing out till like 6:00pm..I love it..!! I can't wait till this weekend when he holds me at night and tells me how this LDR is torture and softly puts my hair behind my ears while looking in my eyes...and telling me thats its going to be ok we could make it and that it'll all be worth it in the end..(sigh) I hope he's right.
Majik45 Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 You guys are all making me jealous, but alas, I get to see my gf tonight. We're just in the early stages of an LDR, and haven't actually slept in the same bed yet (besides some cuddling and a nap together), so maybe that will happen this weekend as she is going to be here for my birthday. YEAH!
SoleMate Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 he has to listen to talk radio all night Sorry, but that's a dealbreaker. Show him to the door.
CurlyIam Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I've only changed partners once. My current bf is rather special. LEt's just say that he does not particularily like to cuddle. Right after sex, yes, but not when sleeping. He sleeps quite badly when sharing the bed with someone new. Me, on the other hand, I like touching. And I have this bad habit of getting near him in my sleep and feeling his body next to mine. I don't know why. It must be either instinct or bad habit You know, at the beginning of our relationship, I was during my last year at the university - very intense, lots of work, he was working crazy hours so when we met itwas usually late. Add dinner, conversation and sex... we were exhausted after each date. It took him some time to get used to this, to a relationship. I think he likes it, now. I feel him coming near me, cuddling, touching... It may sound stupid, but carresing a person is much more intimate than just sex. And the fact that he's hungry for my touch has a different meaning, I guess.
adarkcloud Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I got lucky, me and my boyfriend are the exact same when it comes to sleeping patterns. We get in bed, cuddle some talk some cuddle some more and usually try to fall asleep spooning till our skin gets stuck to eachother and annoying then one of us will move over haha. Once we fall asleep were usually not touching unless its out feet or maybe our hands or our backs if we're back to back. Then if he wakes up somehow or I wake up somehow in the middle of the night we'll cuddle with one another for a tiny just to remind eachother that we are there. Its cute, then you wake up and cuddle with eachother. Its all about cuddling unless your sleeping, then they sticky skin/ too many limbs in the same area deal can get annoying. So you just have to know when its time to stop cuddling
UCFKevin Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 When I was with my ex, I'd hold her from behind, we'd both be on our sides, I'd have one arm around her and the other under her head, cradling her in a way, I guess. She'd fall asleep and I'd slowly and softly pull away and sleep my own way, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, I'd gently turn her so she'd be halfway laying on me, chest on my shoulder, and I'd caress her arms and kiss her forehead and run my fingers thru her hair, which would relax me enough into falling asleep too.
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