UVict Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 So I have been NC with my ex for a whole month. It's worked out really well, I'm happy to say my over my ex. I don't think about her, or worry about how/what she is doing anymore - partly due to connecting with a new girl who is wonderful. Unfortunately, uni starts back up next week and we will have one class together. I lent her my text book last semester and require it for myself this semester. So, as much as I hate it I will have to talk/see my ex to get it back. I am tossing up which way to contact her and get my text book back. I'm thinking either facebook (I would have to unblock her) or text and then picking it up in person. I would also like to have a quick chat to set boundaries while at uni - I want nothing to do with her - don't sit next to me and that we aren't friends anymore (she has always been under the impression we can be good friends). I want to set these boundaries for my own benefit. I have been strong the last month of NC because she has been overseas. But in person I'm not too sure yet how I would deal with seeing her. It is to keep me on track and not go backwards. Do I need to be obvious and tell her straight up, it's not appropriate to be friends and that I want my space at uni so I'm not distracted like last semester?
Simon Phoenix Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Why not buy another book? She probably wrote all over it anyway and another textbook is a small price to pay not to see a person that you don't want to have contact with. 2
CC12 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Why not buy another book? She probably wrote all over it anyway and another textbook is a small price to pay not to see a person that you don't want to have contact with. Seriously. Buy another book. And if you don't want to be friends with her and don't want her sitting next to you, wait until she actually makes attempts to be friends or sit next to you. Then you can address it by saying, "Please don't talk to me or sit next to me." Or whatever. Although she is allowed to sit wherever she wants. So probably the best thing to do is to quietly move to another seat if she sits next to you.
almond Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Definitely get a new text book. And also, switch out of that class and take it next semester instead.
Author UVict Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Seriously. Buy another book. And if you don't want to be friends with her and don't want her sitting next to you, wait until she actually makes attempts to be friends or sit next to you. Then you can address it by saying, "Please don't talk to me or sit next to me." Or whatever. Although she is allowed to sit wherever she wants. So probably the best thing to do is to quietly move to another seat if she sits next to you. Really, even though it's my property? Why should she get a free book, and I have to pay $150 for something that I technically already own? I'm not too fussed about the whole seeing her at uni, its just judging on past behaviour (last semester). I thought it'd be best just to set it straight before it happens again, because I don't want to deal with her at uni, I don't need her nonsense. Definitely get a new text book. And also, switch out of that class and take it next semester instead. I'm not switching classes just for her. It's my degree that she changed into, and I'm not extending my time at uni just to not see her.
almond Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 You wouldn't need to extend your time - you can take a different elective or core subject instead. Anyway, it seems that you are confident that being around her will not bother you. If that's the case, then go ahead and get your book back, and explain to her that you would like to have zero contact. I don't think it's a good idea to have any contact at all, but you seem set on this. You can tell her any way you like, as long as you get the message across. Avoid any talk of the relationship, or any chit chat - stick to the point.
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