JustMe321 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I was broken up with just a few days ago and I'm finding it extremely difficult to cope. We were together ever since we were 15, and were each others first serious relationship and now almost 4 years later he broke up with me out of the blue. I ditched all my friends and made him the centre of my universe, I haven't hung out with anyone except for him the whole time. I feel very alone, and I'm clinging to my family and can't be by myself. I never saw this coming. He said he didn't love me anymore and couldn't lie to me, and he has been feeling this way since around the start of the year. Just two weeks ago he was intimate with me, and a few days before he ended it we were in bed watching a movie and he was feeling me up. The day before he broke up with me he pressured me into giving him a hair cut. Who does that? he also said if I didn't take my things back (furniture I had bought for him for when we moved out, the $700 laptop i bought him, etc) he would throw it out. I said I needed time to make a decision on whether I want the items back or not. What should I do? I can't bare to contact him because I'm so hurt but I'm paranoid he'll drop all the stuff out the front of my house even though he said he wouldn't ever come back. We haven't had any contact since, and he has changed his relationship status on fb. I still don't have the strength to change mine, I don't want to. He's also deleted me on every other social networking site. It makes me feel horrible. I went to the doctor and got anti depressants today and I've scheduled a psychologist appointment. I don't know what to do with myself, I have no dreams or ambitions, my life revolved around him. I'm not ready to let him go, I keep thinking he's just going through a phase and he wouldn't do this to me. It's so unlike him. I thought I knew him and now I don't trust myself, I don't trust anything, this year everything has gone wrong for me. What should I do?
Legatus Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 First of all I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Ending a relationship, especially the first one - is never easy. As you rightly said your life "revolved" around him. You see, you used past tense already, which is a first good sign. Ditching friends is never a good idea, I learnt that myself, that's why I devote my time to get back my lost friendships now (two months after break up). I advise you do the same. It's only a few days so don't rush anything. It's obvious you're going to feel sad and depresses, especially if what he did was so out of character. It's incomprehensible how people can just forget about others, others that loved them and cared about them. Don't worry, those things he did to you - they will come back to him. You can either take your time to swallow the situation and wait till you settle yourself down, or get radical - delete him from facebook, change your status, delete fb photos - show yourself that you're taking back the control over your life. Every day you will feel a little bit better I think. About the things, well those seem to be quite expensive - if you're not ready to take them just yet, perhaps as him to drop it off at a friend's house. If he's such an idiot to not even care about the past and the gifts you gave each other - he doesn't deserve anything. Rebuilding your trust in people will be difficult, but let's take it day by day. Nothing was changed over night and it will take time. Once you come to peace with it - you will begin your healing, which I sincerely hope won't take much of your time, as cockroaches like him do not deserve to be cared for..
LostOne1 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I was broken up with just a few days ago and I'm finding it extremely difficult to cope. We were together ever since we were 15, and were each others first serious relationship and now almost 4 years later he broke up with me out of the blue. I ditched all my friends and made him the centre of my universe, I haven't hung out with anyone except for him the whole time. I feel very alone, and I'm clinging to my family and can't be by myself. I never saw this coming. He said he didn't love me anymore and couldn't lie to me, and he has been feeling this way since around the start of the year. Just two weeks ago he was intimate with me, and a few days before he ended it we were in bed watching a movie and he was feeling me up. The day before he broke up with me he pressured me into giving him a hair cut. Who does that? he also said if I didn't take my things back (furniture I had bought for him for when we moved out, the $700 laptop i bought him, etc) he would throw it out. I said I needed time to make a decision on whether I want the items back or not. What should I do? I can't bare to contact him because I'm so hurt but I'm paranoid he'll drop all the stuff out the front of my house even though he said he wouldn't ever come back. We haven't had any contact since, and he has changed his relationship status on fb. I still don't have the strength to change mine, I don't want to. He's also deleted me on every other social networking site. It makes me feel horrible. I went to the doctor and got anti depressants today and I've scheduled a psychologist appointment. I don't know what to do with myself, I have no dreams or ambitions, my life revolved around him. I'm not ready to let him go, I keep thinking he's just going through a phase and he wouldn't do this to me. It's so unlike him. I thought I knew him and now I don't trust myself, I don't trust anything, this year everything has gone wrong for me. What should I do? It's called bouncing back. I was in the same spot as you a year ago.. Now I'm all fine and dandy You will trust people again, but not for awhile.... You will need to go through the process of healing and letting the relationship go. Once you move on from the pain and let go. Things will slowly get better and you will feel a lot better. Think of this pain and suffering and temporary and when it's over with you'll be a MUCH stronger person. Trust me on that one
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