jukeboxromeo Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I met a girl on PoF - well, sort of. We chatted for a while, and then exchanged numbers. I've told her that I want to meet her, and she's expressed the same interest, but we've never been quite able to make it work. We even ended up in close proximity to each other on the 4th at the same fireworks show, but didn't actually meet up due to being with friends and such - I dunno, it was kind of a weird situation. But it seems like whenever we're both free, (Sunday night for example) I tell her I'd like to meet up for a drink, coffee, whatever, and just have a face-to-face instead of talking through text, and suddenly her "phone dies" or she's had a long day and "falls asleep" I guess I just don't get it - if she wants to meet me, and is serious about it, then why all the excuses? I don't play the "follow you around like a puppy dog" stuff, and if she's not down for meeting up with me, then there are plenty of other females that I can choose from, but she seems like a really cool person and I'd like to get to know her. What should I do here? Should I just basically go NC and move on to the next one? Be upfront about the (kind of awkward) situation? I definitely don't want to pursue someone who's not interested. Thanks thejukeboxromeo
CC12 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Have you ever asked her on a proper date? Like, a date that you plan days in advance, with a specific time and place to meet? Because it sounds like the times you've tried to meet up with her are spontaneous and spur of the moment, and not everyone likes to operate that way, for any number of reasons. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Sounds like she just wants a penpal and not someone to have a real life relationship with. If you are looking to meet women in RL and not just a chat buddy you'll have to let her go.
StayBeautiful Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Women like to take a little while to get ready, especially when you're about to make a first impression with someone. If my hair is unwashed and the clothes I'd like to wear are in the laundry, that means at least 2-3 hours. Spontaneity is fine when you're in a relationship, but not for the first few dates.
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Women like to take a little while to get ready, especially when you're about to make a first impression with someone. If my hair is unwashed and the clothes I'd like to wear are in the laundry, that means at least 2-3 hours. Spontaneity is fine when you're in a relationship, but not for the first few dates. This is true. Try making plans in advance. I don't meet people from OLD on a whim, especially not on a weekend.
Archanaart Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Maybe she said she's someone who she isn't. maybe she said something's that aren't true.
ChatroomHero Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Women like to take a little while to get ready, especially when you're about to make a first impression with someone. If my hair is unwashed and the clothes I'd like to wear are in the laundry, that means at least 2-3 hours. Spontaneity is fine when you're in a relationship, but not for the first few dates. So you would tell a lie and say your phone died, power went out, family stopped by, your house blew up or you fell asleep? If that was the case, it's one thing to say no or decline, it's another thing entirely to disappear or lie like a 4th grader that your phone died. I think regardless of the why, how she handles it speaks volumes. Catfish. Move on. 1
Author jukeboxromeo Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 To the person who said something about spontaneity, I have given her a couple days or at least 4-5 hours to decide, and the "cell phone died" or "I fell asleep" excuse came up. Awesome advice everyone. Thanks, I didn't really want to waste my time on some girl who didn't have the courage to actually meet me. I know I'm an awesome person to be around, frequently making my co-workers and friends laugh, and plenty of them want me to be in their social circles. She's gonna be missing out. One last question though, should I treat it like a sort-of breakup and just go NC? Or tell her why I don't really feel like talking to her anymore?
shexy Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 If you haven't officially asked her out on a date for a specific time on a specific date, she probably doesn't think you're serious. And if have already asked her out, officially (not just hey lets randomly hang out) and she's acting that way, forget her.
crude Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 One last question though, should I treat it like a sort-of breakup and just go NC? Or tell her why I don't really feel like talking to her anymore? I'd tell her why I've had enough, but leave the door slightly open by telling her if she changes her mind, she knows how to reach me.
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