marcelo.santos Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Hi all, I met a girl that I found on a dating site - She was very reluctant to have a first meeting with me. she is 33 (i'm 39) and she never met an online guy before. I even tried one time a "If you are not interested just say no" - she answered that we will met some day - after several days of excuses we finally met as she told. We had a great time, consumed 2 bottles of wine and talked for 3 hours - we kissed and was fine. After the meeting, I'm still having difficulties for a second meeting.. I tried 1 time and she gave more excuses - we talked a bit but her behavior is the same from before the meeting: Not so much talking, always busy. etc. Sometimes she says: "I think it will not be possible to met today, if it <my excuses> do not occur, we will met. I have no evidence that the excuses are not true - sometimes she say she is out of the city for example - but she is always reluctant for a meeting. What I do now? Move on? Force her to say yes or no ("If you are not interested just say no and I will move on")? Continue talking in the same way to see what happens? I'm very interested in this girl, obviously she is not so interested, she is a really attractive girl - I'm suffering with this situation and really don't know if is time to move on or try a little more. What do you think?
FitChick Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 "I'd like to get to know you better. Let me know if you want to meet me again. I won't call you any more but you are welcome to call me if you change your mind." Then go back on the dating site. 2
Dread Pirate Roberts Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 "I'd like to get to know you better. Let me know if you want to meet me again. I won't call you any more but you are welcome to call me if you change your mind." Then go back on the dating site. Not much else he can do. 1
jukeboxromeo Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I literally just posted a thread about this. Thanks for the insight everyone.
ChatroomHero Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Funny, I came on here going through the same issue. Was set up with a woman, I was interested, she told her friend she was interested and had her ask if I was going to call, went on one dinner date where everything went pretty well. After that she asked me out for a couple of days later, I said yes, she later cancelled that day, and since then it has been the slow fade. I talked to a few people and was going to call her one last time tonight and leave it at that but decided if she was interested she would contact me, if she was not, me calling would make no difference. I figured if she was doing the slow fade I would speed it up. If she was not, then I wouldn't be sitting here wondering if she is doing the slow fade. Move on. I know it's tough because when a woman pulls this, the dilemma it puts a guy in is that after talking, spending time together, and her showing the guy that she is a decent person and someone he thinks might be quality, she basically tells little fibs or makes excuses expecting the guy to NOW assume she is a liar and deceitful. She makes him believe she is honest, but expects him to suddenly assume she is dishonest and go away. It sucks but the best you can do is go out on your own terms.
ChatroomHero Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 "I'd like to get to know you better. Let me know if you want to meet me again. I won't call you any more but you are welcome to call me if you change your mind." Then go back on the dating site. I considered this for a moment in my situation but to me it seemed very weak, almost submissive to call. It would show her you were wounded. Here's the thing- she already knows if she "changed her mind" she could call him. She knows he is interested, he doesn't need to re-iterate it. "Let me know if you want to meet me again..." if she wanted to meet him again, she would have offered to meet him again already and he would not have to ask that question. I don't think a final "thanks I still think you are great even though I know you are not interested" call will really do anything but shrink his penis by and inch or two in her mind.
Author marcelo.santos Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 "I'd like to get to know you better. Let me know if you want to meet me again. I won't call you any more but you are welcome to call me if you change your mind." Then go back on the dating site. Nice one, I'll try it Thanks all for the answers!
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