Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 You played it too cool at the start, but her reaction was way over the top. I think she would turn into a major headache if you go further. Ok, I don't feel as stupid. I played it like someone who has had horrible luck with women, so I did what I thought would work. I didn't think 10 hours (she wrote me at 1:50am, I wrote her at 12 pm the following day) would bring her crazy out. I didn't hear anything from her after that at all yesterday, until that bogus "U didn't like me huh" message today. I'm more confused about this dance now than i was before. I don' feel like i can do anything right with women. I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm funny, have a great career. I don't get it.
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Dont tell them you "like" them Show them with actions... asking her out on a date/kissing her/sleeping with her i agree.... hes a rookie and learning I'm no stranger to asking for numbers. I'm actually a pretty confident guy in light of failing over and over again with the ladies! Most of our conversation that night was how creepy a lot of people are on OkC, creepy guys in the tattoo shop she works in, creepy neighbors always checking her out. I was trying to move slower with her because I felt she was easily defensive. In retrospect, i should have asked for her number...
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Ok, I don't feel as stupid. I played it like someone who has had horrible luck with women, so I did what I thought would work. I didn't think 10 hours (she wrote me at 1:50am, I wrote her at 12 pm the following day) would bring her crazy out. I didn't hear anything from her after that at all yesterday, until that bogus "U didn't like me huh" message today. I'm more confused about this dance now than i was before. I don' feel like i can do anything right with women. I'm not a bad looking guy, I'm funny, have a great career. I don't get it. just date more and practice.... dont listen to what women say... just watch more their "actions" always lead.... if you go out on a date with a girl, and you like her, kiss her (which you did) and let her simmer for a few days... (I dont online date so I forgot about you not having her number) then ask her out again... if shes upset and agrees to go out (its a good thing... look at the actions not the words... she agrees to go out with you... the emotions/words behind it dont really matter.... her emotions during the dating phase and how she feels... isnt your problem, its hers) you are responsible for leading, courting and letting her feel her emotions DONT SUPPLICATE, appologize for how she feels or try to make her feel happy/content all the time
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 just date more and practice.... dont listen to what women say... just watch more their "actions" always lead.... if you go out on a date with a girl, and you like her, kiss her (which you did) and let her simmer for a few days... (I dont online date so I forgot about you not having her number) then ask her out again... if shes upset and agrees to go out (its a good thing... look at the actions not the words... she agrees to go out with you... the emotions/words behind it dont really matter.... her emotions during the dating phase and how she feels... isnt your problem, its hers) you are responsible for leading, courting and letting her feel her emotions DONT SUPPLICATE, appologize for how she feels or try to make her feel happy/content all the time See, that's what my mindset was. Kiss her, tell her I'd like to see her again and then let a few days go by. I didn't think I was even expected to respond to "Thx, we'll keep in touch, ur a cutie". I respond the next day and thought to myself "here we go, I'm already giving in too quickly". Turns out I wasn't quick enough with this one. So ****ing confusing.
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 See, that's what my mindset was. Kiss her, tell her I'd like to see her again and then let a few days go by. I didn't think I was even expected to respond to "Thx, we'll keep in touch, ur a cutie". I respond the next day and thought to myself "here we go, I'm already giving in too quickly". Turns out I wasn't quick enough with this one. So ****ing confusing. You had the right mindset, she is a nutjob "Don't listen to what women say" write that in permanent marker on your arm... It's essentially a "sh*t test" what she said.... I would have not responded to that and made her sit on it a week if I was dating a girl and she pulled that stunt.... but I dont date nutjobs unless I want an "easy layup" one night stand
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 You had the right mindset, she is a nutjob "Don't listen to what women say" write that in permanent marker on your arm... It's essentially a "sh*t test" what she said.... I would have not responded to that and made her sit on it a week if I was dating a girl and she pulled that stunt.... but I dont date nutjobs unless I want an "easy layup" one night stand I thought giving her time and not coming off desperate would be the right play. Apparently not for this one. A few minutes ago i was checking her OkC profile out and her sex drive she had listed as lower than average. The only thing I was getting out of this was spending money to look at her while I get drunk. Too bad.
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 You still havent heard a word I said Clear your head of EVERY Thought you have right now and this situation and what she said..... it doesnt matter what she said or what her OKCupid profile says or what she changed it to Get this tattooed on your arm "Don't listen to what women say" I had a girl last november try to make me jealous by bringing a friend over why he held her on a couch at a local restaurant... I got up pointed at her and walked away... she told all my friends how big of a jerk i was... i was such an ******* (her words) I saw her 6 months later in May and she sat at my table at another restaurant and started talking about sex with me and has been behaving around all my friends since then. Quit acting like a 12 year old, etc... Cleaned up her behavior around me. If I would have listened to her words, I wouldnt think she likes me, her actions say otherwise. She asked my friends recently if I was gay (because I havent banged her brains out yet) The Right play for you was to continue on your plan to NOT ACT DESPERATE. Next time you deal with someone like that, make them wait and double the time on not acting desperate If you look at this scenerio over all YOU STILL WIN... she's a nutjob you aren't going to date. You learned from this experience, and when you run across another one, you will see it instantly and know what to do
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 You still havent heard a word I said Clear your head of EVERY Thought you have right now and this situation and what she said..... it doesnt matter what she said or what her OKCupid profile says or what she changed it to Get this tattooed on your arm "Don't listen to what women say" I had a girl last november try to make me jealous by bringing a friend over why he held her on a couch at a local restaurant... I got up pointed at her and walked away... she told all my friends how big of a jerk i was... i was such an ******* (her words) I saw her 6 months later in May and she sat at my table at another restaurant and started talking about sex with me and has been behaving around all my friends since then. Quit acting like a 12 year old, etc... Cleaned up her behavior around me. If I would have listened to her words, I wouldnt think she likes me, her actions say otherwise. She asked my friends recently if I was gay (because I havent banged her brains out yet) The Right play for you was to continue on your plan to NOT ACT DESPERATE. Next time you deal with someone like that, make them wait and double the time on not acting desperate If you look at this scenerio over all YOU STILL WIN... she's a nutjob you aren't going to date. You learned from this experience, and when you run across another one, you will see it instantly and know what to do Thanks for your help tonight. Really. I was so confused by this today, but after listening to you I realize it wasn't at all what I thought it was. I'll trust my gut from now on. I knew I shouldn't have responded as quickly as I did. I wanted to wait a few days. Lesson learned. Next time I'll double the wait time!
StayBeautiful Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Lesson learned. Next time I'll double the wait time! If that was me and you waited 2 days to respond, I'd probably move on. No drama, no poutiness, but I have far too much self-esteem to be with someone like that. The "waiting" rule only seems to work for needy girls, do you really want someone like that? Honestly, I've been out with far too many men who are wishy-washy and appear disinterested, it makes me lose my initial interest faster than you can say "do you like magic". If you're looking for a pick up, go right ahead. But if you're looking for a relationship, be careful of who is going to be attracted to those kind of games. 2
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Red flags ALL OVER the place, the biggest of which was this: Today, I got a message from her at noon that simply said "U didn't like me huh". Honestly, if somebody I met less than 12 ago sent me this, I'd block them and never respond. This smacks of crazy and drama. You just met, you've already indicated that you'd like to see her again, you've already told her you think she's stunning, you've already kissed her... The fact this wasn't proof enough of your interest for her means she's got an extreme need for emotional validation from strangers - not healthy. 2
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Red flags ALL OVER the place, the biggest of which was this: Honestly, if somebody I met less than 12 ago sent me this, I'd block them and never respond. This smacks of crazy and drama. You just met, you've already indicated that you'd like to see her again, you've already told her you think she's stunning, you've already kissed her... The fact this wasn't proof enough of your interest for her means she's got an extreme need for emotional validation from strangers - not healthy. Thank you! I can't believe she reacted this way. I feel better about my end of it now!
RebelWithoutACause Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Thank you! I can't believe she reacted this way. I feel better about my end of it now! Exactly. Her reaction was way over the line. This is not how emotionally stable people act. For your own sake and sanity cut all contact with her. There are other pretty girls with tattoos out there, and they all won't be this crazy.
melodymatters Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 If that was me and you waited 2 days to respond, I'd probably move on. No drama, no poutiness, but I have far too much self-esteem to be with someone like that. The "waiting" rule only seems to work for needy girls, do you really want someone like that? Honestly, I've been out with far too many men who are wishy-washy and appear disinterested, it makes me lose my initial interest faster than you can say "do you like magic". If you're looking for a pick up, go right ahead. But if you're looking for a relationship, be careful of who is going to be attracted to those kind of games. Ha ha, LOVE this ! Take heed gentleman : quality woman do not like games. If I let you know I'm interested and you do not respond with equal interest, NEXT !
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 If that was me and you waited 2 days to respond, I'd probably move on. No drama, no poutiness, but I have far too much self-esteem to be with someone like that. The "waiting" rule only seems to work for needy girls, do you really want someone like that? Honestly, I've been out with far too many men who are wishy-washy and appear disinterested, it makes me lose my initial interest faster than you can say "do you like magic". So you are essentially saying.... you've been around the block.... quick to move on, wont let anything simmer, you seek instant gratification You enter auto rejection within 2 days... contrary to your own viewpoint... that's low self esteem, its how men determine a high quality woman from a low quality one "damn she couldnt wait 3 days, imagine dating her or entering a relationship with her, NO SPACE whatsoever, seeks validation every day, ugh!...oh well next"
StayBeautiful Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 No, I just move on if someone isn't interested. I used to fret and worry and wonder why. Now, I just assume they are either not interested or are playing games. Either way, I can't really be bothered. 1
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Ha ha, LOVE this ! Take heed gentleman : quality woman do not like games. If I let you know I'm interested and you do not respond with equal interest, NEXT ! I certainly wasn't trying to play any games. I didn't want to seem too eager, so I waited 10 hours, 8 of which I was sleeping. She messaged me at 2am, I messaged back at noon that day. She took this as my not being into her? After telling her time and again she's beautiful, buying her drinks, kissing her, asking to see her again. Bottom line, if I had messaged her back right away, I would've been the creepy guy. Guaranteed. I can't win for losing. I wanted to write her back immediately, and instead thought I was "playing it smart". Nope. And when I adjust this strategy for the next one, I'll have the same results. I hate these stupid games.
forgetmenot75 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 you should stop posting, go try to find another girl. how much more time you'll lose thinking what went wrong? it was only one date, move on! 1
StayBeautiful Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I certainly wasn't trying to play any games. I didn't want to seem too eager, so I waited 10 hours, 8 of which I was sleeping. She messaged me at 2am, I messaged back at noon that day. She took this as my not being into her? After telling her time and again she's beautiful, buying her drinks, kissing her, asking to see her again. Bottom line, if I had messaged her back right away, I would've been the creepy guy. Guaranteed. I can't win for losing. I wanted to write her back immediately, and instead thought I was "playing it smart". Nope. And when I adjust this strategy for the next one, I'll have the same results. I hate these stupid games. No, this one was cray cray. My point is, don't adjust your entire persona because of one date. If you'd messaged a normal girl back straight away after she'd emailed you, she would have been pleased that you were as into her as she was. If you hate the games, don't play them. If girls fall by the wayside because they only respond to game players, what have you lost? 1
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 you should stop posting, go try to find another girl. how much more time you'll lose thinking what went wrong? it was only one date, move on! I'm at work. I'm posting because its interesting to hear multiple viewpoints. Trust me, I'm not a broken man over this! I'll move on:)
Lansing Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Your messages back to her were WAY over the top. All you need to have said was something like "I was busy, didn't get a chance to respond but don't take that as a lack of interest". OR something simply like that. Instead you basically came across as putting this girl on a pedestal. "Hot" women get all kinds of that attention. You know nothing about her personality. Why say she is such a great/amazing girl??? Get to know someone before you give them compliments. If I got this overwhelming "you are so amazing" type message I would probably pull back too... I would feel like I couldn't live up to a girls expectations. 1
forgetmenot75 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 you only want to view one view point: you want to hear she;s crazy and you did well. And you want to feel ok with your actions. I honestly don't think she was that crazy and I do think you were playing hard to get and screwed all replying her 12 hours later. How about that?
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 you only want to view one view point: you want to hear she;s crazy and you did well. And you want to feel ok with your actions. I honestly don't think she was that crazy and I do think you were playing hard to get and screwed all replying her 12 hours later. How about that? Not true at all. I'm taking all view-points into consideration. I screwed up by replying 10 hours later? I was sleeping for 8 of them. If you think I screwed, I'll take that into consideration. There's a part of me that agrees with you! In hindsight, I wish I'd written her right away.
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 Seriously....? I wouldnt care if a guy replied the next day, if i was interested id be glad to get a response... If any girl gets mad because he didnt reply ASAP they are psycho... Thanks for your response. I don't want to believe she's crazy, so I give it one last try today.
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 10, 2013 Author Posted July 10, 2013 So to put this behind me, and to reassure myself that if she truly does like to hear the romantic stuff I said it. At this point, absolutely nothing to lose. i know she read it, but no response. I'm too good of a guy for this stuff. Maybe it's karma from a previous life? Who knows... "I'm probably breaking every guy rule here, but that's ok. I'm not like most guys. I'm really into you. REALLY into you. I haven't stopped thinking of you since Saturday night. You're exactly what I'm looking for in a woman. I really regret that I didn't write you back after our date. I wanted to. I've just said too much, too soon in the past and some girls like to play the "waiting" game. I didn't want to freak you out. If you're wondering why I didn't ask for your phone number, the answer is the same. I really wanted to. You're the total package. Beautiful, smart, ambitious. You check all the boxes. I'd like to see you again. I'm pretty sure I've made that clear! I'd like to see if there's something between us. I certainly felt something that night. You said you like reassurance. I like reassurance too. And I hate games, so no more games on my end. If I want to tell you I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, I will. And you are. If I want to tell you that I miss you and I've only spent a total of 4 hours with you, I will. And I do. If I want to send flowers to the tattoo shop, I will. I'm not creepy, I promise. I'm just an old-school romantic. If you're still interested, reach out to me. I'm a good guy. I promise. If not, I hope you find what you're looking for. I really do." Now everyone tell me what a dickhead I am...
shexy Posted July 10, 2013 Posted July 10, 2013 I think you messed up by waiting to respond until the next day. Now you've messaged twice with no response? I don't see any good place to go from there. If she doesn't respond it's pretty much over. Live and learn. Other thoughts: - girls with tattoos are nuts, good luck LOL - don't expect to find "experts" here, again LOL Oh here we go with the tattoo bull**** again.... Yes, dude, run like hell. She has tattoos. And probably schizophrenia. And STDs. And really just wants to kill you. BAER 3
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