Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Ok, new to the forum here but would love some advice from the experts! Here goes: I was in Maine visiting family over the 4th of July weekend. I grew up there but now live outside NYC and work in the city every day as a staff photographer for a high end clothing manufacturer. I decided while I was in Maine that I would search OkCupid because I wanted to have drinks with a female companion on saturday night. Not looking to get laid or anything, just wanted some company. I came across the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on these dating sites. Seriously. I figured I'd shoot her a message, just to say I did. Already long story short, she wrote me back and was down for drinks! I was ecstatic! I met her at the bar, she seemed kind of shy but talkative. We're both into the greaser culture, have tattoos and she's a tattoo artist, again, DROP-DEAD-GORGEOUS. We hung out until the bar closed, I walked her to her car and we chit-chatted a bit before I kissed her. She seemed into it, so I kissed her again. Not R rated, but I appreciated it. About a half hour later she messaged me saying, and I quote "Thx again it was fun to relate finally to someone who understands lol well will have to keep in touch ur a cutie". I was pretty psyched at this point. I got this message at 1:51 am, so as not to seem to eager, I waited until around noon the next day and I responded with "You're welcome, I had fun too. I think it would be great to stay in touch:) btw, I'm serious about you doing my sleeve". I didn't want to move too fast with her because I've done this before and put my heart on my sleeve only to scare women away. I'm a hopeless romantic sometimes! Today, I got a message from her at noon that simply said "U didn't like me huh". What?! I don't understand why she would assume this! I thought I made it pretty clear! I responded with 2 messages. The first: "Actually, I really do:)" A few minutes later I wrote again: "I'd really like to see you again soon..." Sorry for the long story, I'm just confused as to wtf happened today! How do I respond from here? The ball's in her court, I just don't want to blow it with this chick! She's incredible, not just in appearance. My female friends are telling me she asked because she's feeling me, but it just seems strange? I didn't ask for her number because I wanted to go slower than I normally do, so OkCupid is how we've been communicating. I've been waiting since noon to hear her response to my confirming that I actually DO in deed like her but nothing. It says she read my response at 12:41. I'm just weirded out. Help me figure out what to do next!!!
nescafe1982 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Maybe she got you confused with someone else... ? Happens on OKC sometimes.
Imajerk17 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) I'm surprised you didn't ask for her number either. How did you plan on keeping in touch with her again? I actually get what you were trying to do--not blow it by coming on too strong. But I think you went too far in the opposite direction. Women can be astoundingly self-protective. They get freaked out if we come on too strong and they get too discouraged too quickly and write us off if we don't show "enough" interest. All might not be lost. If you don't hear back from her you can write her a message and ask for her number. Edited July 9, 2013 by Imajerk17
Ninjainpajamas Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Should have at least got her number and went for it...you played it too cool, the flow seemed to be smooth you could've been bolder without putting your heart on your sleeve. You should wait at this point for a response and as a last ditch effort ask her out in a very non-valiant way w confidence. She might be waiting for you to take the initiative.
nescafe1982 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Oh, I think I get it now. You *didn't* send your message (about the sleeve) to her before she responded? In that case, you just didn't act swift enough. Come clean and tell her the truth (that you were trying not to seem "too eager")... it'll sound endearing and maybe reverse her scorn. 1
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 I just sent her this; "Were you serious earlier today?! I don't really like being on here all that much so I'd really like it if you just called or texted me. I think it would be easier to keep in touch that way. My number is 000-000-0000. Unless of course you don't like me?:)" Thanks for the help everyone. Don't want to blow it with this one. She's a definite keeper.
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Oh, I think I get it now. You *didn't* send your message (about the sleeve) to her before she responded? In that case, you just didn't act swift enough. Come clean and tell her the truth (that you were trying not to seem "too eager")... it'll sound endearing and maybe reverse her scorn. No, I sent the two back to back and haven't gotten a response to either. Now a third that I sent a few minutes ago. The last one my female friend came up with for me!
hoping2heal Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 You sounded way too friendsy in your response. I think that's why she thought you weren't into her.
ChessPieceFace Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I think you messed up by waiting to respond until the next day. Now you've messaged twice with no response? I don't see any good place to go from there. If she doesn't respond it's pretty much over. Live and learn. Other thoughts: - girls with tattoos are nuts, good luck LOL - don't expect to find "experts" here, again LOL 1
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Don't ever listen to female friends in dating...... Its called the dance, and you stepped all over her Tit-for-tat, you send a message, she responds She doesnt respond, you dont send another message She was being a cunt on purpose to see if you would respond and were hooked Look at the situation big picture, she sent one message, you sent 3 and you are sweating posting a question about it on LS. You are hooked and she knows it and if shes a "chaser" (which she probably is) its game over for you Lay back do not send another message until she does. If she does, make her sweat, wait 3 days to respond...
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 I'm surprised you didn't ask for her number either. How did you plan on keeping in touch with her again? I actually get what you were trying to do--not blow it by coming on too strong. But I think you went too far in the opposite direction. Women can be astoundingly self-protective. They get freaked out if we come on too strong and they get too discouraged too quickly and write us off if we don't show "enough" interest. All might not be lost. If you don't hear back from her you can write her a message and ask for her number. My friend, you couldn't have been more on the money. She just messaged me and made it pretty clear that it upset her that i didn't respond to her until the next day. I played it Ice cold instead of cool...
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 She just messaged me and made it pretty clear that it upset her that i didn't respond to her until the next day. oh whatever, this is a "GREAT message from her" This is the best response she could have given you...it means you did your job dont supplicate
ChessPieceFace Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 My friend, you couldn't have been more on the money. She just messaged me and made it pretty clear that it upset her that i didn't respond to her until the next day. I played it Ice cold instead of cool... Time to end the stupid games then. How about some honesty.
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Don't ever listen to female friends in dating...... Its called the dance, and you stepped all over her Tit-for-tat, you send a message, she responds She doesnt respond, you dont send another message She was being a cunt on purpose to see if you would respond and were hooked Look at the situation big picture, she sent one message, you sent 3 and you are sweating posting a question about it on LS. You are hooked and she knows it and if shes a "chaser" (which she probably is) its game over for you Lay back do not send another message until she does. If she does, make her sweat, wait 3 days to respond... Man, you wouldn't believe the conversation I'm having with her on OkC right now. I'm beginning to think this chick is full-on crazy. She was pissed that I waited 10 hours to respond to her message after our date. She said she thought I didn't care and she needs to be reassured. Here's the conversation so far: Her: "Yeah I was serious why" Me: "Did I do something to give you that impression? I'm sorry if I did. The truth is, it's hard to be up front with some girls. I didn't want to come on too strong or move too fast for you." Her: "I like to be reassured...u didn't message me that night or in the morning...so i thought u didn't care for me?" Me: "Ok, I have nothing to lose here by being completely honest with you, so here goes. I'm a romantic. I really hope this doesn't blow up in my face, but I'll put it out there anyway. I wanted to respond that night. I wanted to tell you I think you're amazing. I felt like I ****ed up by telling you you're stunning about 25 times! But it's true. You are! I didn't want to scare you away! I'm totally into you. I really like you. If you thought i didn't care for you, that's my fault. But nothing could be further from the truth. A lot of girls can't handle this kind of honesty, so I didn't want to blow it with you. I hope I haven't:)" Her: "Dude that's all that I wanted...geez!" Her: "That's the kind of things I want to hear" Me: "Some girls get freaked out easier than others. I really didn't want to blow it with you. I think you're pretty ****ing awesome. Do you feel the same?!" Her: "Well I don't know what kind of sissys u talk to but it's the least thing to freak me out...I think ur funny and I totally dig u" Me: "Ok, we're on the same page! How was your day?!" Now it's been 20 minutes with no response and she's still online. Too bad, I really thought this girl was awesome. ****ing babe though...
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Time to end the stupid games then. How about some honesty. Dude, I like you!
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Man, you wouldn't believe the conversation I'm having with her on OkC right now. I'm beginning to think this chick is full-on crazy. She was pissed that I waited 10 hours to respond to her message after our date. She said she thought I didn't care and she needs to be reassured. Duh shes an online dater and hot... she has to be crazy to online date Stop supplicating its unattractive behavior, especially to a crazy hot chick The only response and reassurance you should have given her was to ask her for date #2 Thats it...
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Duh shes an online dater and hot... she has to be crazy to online date Stop supplicating its unattractive behavior, especially to a crazy hot chick The only response and reassurance you should have given her was to ask her for date #2 Thats it... See, I tried to do that when we were parting ways at the end of our date. I said "I'd really like to see you again", and she responded with "you live in New York". What's my play now? Chalk this one up as another crazy and move on?! I'm still stumped as to why a girl would rapid fire respond to my posts when I'm supplicating, but radio silence when i ask her how her day was?! I think i saved myself a lot of driving back and forth to see a crazy bitch. Even her kisses were ice cold. I didn't even think she was into me!
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) She wasnt into you, shes crazy... shes a "chaser" she likes the thrill of the chase and when you told her you liked her and what you wanted, game over. You gave her what she wanted... Conquest If you read these forums, read the girls that have been here a long time and date bad boys but break up with good guys and online date.... its the same story you just encountered They chase the bad boys because they aren't emotionally available thinking they can change them and toss the guys that are emotionally available, instead of fixing themselves and their own issues, the project it onto a guy thats not emotionally available and try to fix him From now on, if you want to date hot chicks online, you have to sleep with them night one and move on. That's all they are worth and they know it deep down Edited July 9, 2013 by CptSaveAho
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 She wasnt into you, shes crazy... shes a "chaser" she likes the thrill of the chase and when you told her you liked her and what you wanted, game over. You gave her what she wanted... Conquest If you read these forums, read the girls that have been here a long time and date bad boys but break up with good guys and online date.... its the same story you just encountered They chase the bad boys because they aren't emotionally available thinking they can change them and toss the guys that are emotionally available From now on, if you want to date hot chicks online, you have to sleep with them night one and move on. That's all they are worth and they know it deep down I have so much to learn. I'm 36 and have only ever been in relationships. I hate this ****!
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Thanks again everyone! What a ride the last 2 days have been with this crazy bitch! All of my female friends were convinced that her asking "U didn't like me huh" meant she really liked me! What a joke!
CptSaveAho Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I have so much to learn. I'm 36 and have only ever been in relationships. I hate this ****! Then you should figure out why you are 36 years old and have only been in one relationship... Do some deep hard internal reflecting on your entire life, once you figure this out, the rest is a breeze. Get some real manly guy friends...and listen to them and try to incorporate what they say into how you interact with the real world. It might not make sense at first but eventually you will get it Dating is a dance, tit for tat... you have to know how to dance to do it properly and weed out the morons (THERE ARE TONS of them) Just practice and ask MAN friends, not women, for advice and listen to them
Divasu Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Man, you wouldn't believe the conversation I'm having with her on OkC right now. I'm beginning to think this chick is full-on crazy. She was pissed that I waited 10 hours to respond to her message after our date. She said she thought I didn't care and she needs to be reassured. Here's the conversation so far: Her: "Yeah I was serious why" Me: "Did I do something to give you that impression? I'm sorry if I did. The truth is, it's hard to be up front with some girls. I didn't want to come on too strong or move too fast for you." Her: "I like to be reassured...u didn't message me that night or in the morning...so i thought u didn't care for me?" Me: "Ok, I have nothing to lose here by being completely honest with you, so here goes. I'm a romantic. I really hope this doesn't blow up in my face, but I'll put it out there anyway. I wanted to respond that night. I wanted to tell you I think you're amazing. I felt like I ****ed up by telling you you're stunning about 25 times! But it's true. You are! I didn't want to scare you away! I'm totally into you. I really like you. If you thought i didn't care for you, that's my fault. But nothing could be further from the truth. A lot of girls can't handle this kind of honesty, so I didn't want to blow it with you. I hope I haven't:)" Her: "Dude that's all that I wanted...geez!" Her: "That's the kind of things I want to hear" Me: "Some girls get freaked out easier than others. I really didn't want to blow it with you. I think you're pretty ****ing awesome. Do you feel the same?!" Her: "Well I don't know what kind of sissys u talk to but it's the least thing to freak me out...I think ur funny and I totally dig u" Me: "Ok, we're on the same page! How was your day?!" Now it's been 20 minutes with no response and she's still online. Too bad, I really thought this girl was awesome. ****ing babe though... This after one date? Wholly crap. 3
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Then you should figure out why you are 36 years old and have only been in one relationship... Do some deep hard internal reflecting on your entire life, once you figure this out, the rest is a breeze. Get some real manly guy friends...and listen to them and try to incorporate what they say into how you interact with the real world. It might not make sense at first but eventually you will get it Dating is a dance, tit for tat... you have to know how to dance to do it properly and weed out the morons (THERE ARE TONS of them) Just practice and ask MAN friends, not women, for advice and listen to them No, I've been in three long-term relationships. I'm well aware of the work I need to do! I'll definitely take your advice and stop asking my female friends for advice. It's always wrong.
Author Whtvrmakesuhapy Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 This after one date? Wholly crap. No ****, right?
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