AnchorSails Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Hey guys... I'm in need of some major advice. For those of you who have read the topic regarding GIGS (Grass is Greener), I think that it applies to this situation. My ex fiance and I were together for two years and we were both happy as can be. She said I was the love of her life, was excited about our future marriage, and was optimistic about our plans for the future. In March of this year, things started changing between us when she started talking to a coworker of hers, who she ended up having feelings for, which led to our breakup in May of this year. After our break up, she ended up dating him for a couple weeks, but their relationship ended quite abruptly. My ex and I are still living together because our contract doesn't expire until the end of this year, which makes the "no contact" rule impossible. I'm still very much in love with her, and she claims to still be in love with me, but at the same time she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me and wants to date other people. She's also said that she could see us possibly being together in the future. I have noticed that the days I act depressed and upset over the break up, she treats me badly and will say things to further dig in the fact we are broken up. The days I act like everything's okay, she will be sweet towards me and will say, again, that I'm the love of her life, that she's beginning to remember why she fell in love with me, etc. She has also said that she wants to be back with me, but can't because she can't get herself to focus her attention entirely on our relationship, that she can't help being interested in other people. I want to get her back, but because I can't do "no contact", I feel like I can't get the ball in my court. Right now, she's the one making all of the decisions. It tears me apart to see her going out and having fun, while I'm stuck still mourning my loss. I know it's time for me to man up and take control, but I don't know how to do that while still living here, and I need help with that.
ellie10 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Hey I feel ur pain I had a similar situation only we both moved out .. U need to go out have fun show her as if u don't need her
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I'm 25, she is 23. Then it is simple. You guys are not yet fully developed and are suffering from half-baked brain syndrome. Read here. In short, "Recent studies show that neural insulation isn't complete until the mid-20s." There is nothing you can do and you probably better off. Wait until your closer to 30 to even consider an engagement and you will be much, much better off in the long run. 2
Hoaks Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 What a cop out by her. If she is so in love with you she wouldnt even want to look at another guy. I have heard this before, just lies. People who love each other dont put the other person in pain. However you can you need to move out, even if its with family or friends and let her see what she is missing. I feel for you man, noy a good thing to be going through
Chi townD Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Hell.... I don't know what to tell you other than to move out. Move on with your life. Grab a friend or two and make a plan to go out to dinner then you all catch a movie, then go out for a drink or two. But, before you leave, dress nicely. Shower and use cologne. If she asks where you're going, just say "out". Let her wonder where you're going and with who. If it doesn't drive her nuts, then she really doesn't care. Then you'll know where you stand. I think that she's just giving you enough to string you along, she gets to go out and party, date and sleep with other people while she has you waiting on the sidelines like a good little puppy hoping that she'll throw a bone your way every once in a while. That's totally unfair. 2
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