jasper2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Hi all, My ex gf more or less broke up with me 4.5 months ago. We were together for 2.5 years. It was mostly 75% her idea to break up. We had a lot of issues. This was a very tough period in my life. Anyways, she has since returned home and as have I. I have an opportunity to move as I am not fond of my town and have always enjoyed my time in hers. I am unsure if I should tell her that I am moving there? It is a large city but I am sure through the grapevine she will find out I am there. She has expressed interest in the past that she would be so excited to see me; despite her telling me that she started to see someone. i am unsure if I would like to see her however. What are your opinions?
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Nope! I wouldn't tell her anything. Why? You aren't her boyfriend, lover, significant other....you have no title to her. Tell you what. Contact the newspaper and tell them that you're coming back to town, see if they give a damn. The point I'm making is that they're not invested in you and neither is your Ex. 3
flitzanu Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 no. you don't tell her that you're moving to her town. if she's curious about where you are and what you are doing, she'll find out or ask you. 1
Echo000 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 what others are saying. Dont do it. Its tempting, but will only bring potential for negativity and hurt. You are moving to a new city, you need to make sure you establish yourself there. Not leave yourself open to being hurt by someone that you used to date. 1
Author jasper2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 The thing I am concerned of is if she finds out through the grapevine I am there, I don't want her to contact me, accusing me of coming out there for her. This will be a place where I have no close friends or family around to help me through another tough time. I know well that she will want to see me if I am out there. I do not know if that's a good idea. Perhaps if I told her I could simply let her know my reasons for coming and what I would like to do while I establish myself.
CaliBabe Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 The thing I am concerned of is if she finds out through the grapevine I am there, I don't want her to contact me, accusing me of coming out there for her. This will be a place where I have no close friends or family around to help me through another tough time. I know well that she will want to see me if I am out there. I do not know if that's a good idea. Perhaps if I told her I could simply let her know my reasons for coming and what I would like to do while I establish myself. Everyone is telling you not to because whether you like to believe it or not, you are letting her know she is still on your mind. It's over. Whether you move back or not will not change anything. Stop. Do not contact her, let it go.
flitzanu Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 she hasn't had interest in your life right? why is she going to automatically assume you are chasing her? she certainly will thnk you are chasing if you contact her and tell her.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 The thing I am concerned of is if she finds out through the grapevine I am there, I don't want her to contact me, accusing me of coming out there for her. This will be a place where I have no close friends or family around to help me through another tough time. I know well that she will want to see me if I am out there. I do not know if that's a good idea. Perhaps if I told her I could simply let her know my reasons for coming and what I would like to do while I establish myself. If she finds out through the grapevine, that means you wouldn't have told her. If you didn't tell her and you aren't interacting with her, why would she think you were there for her? Your logic is backwards. 1
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