deb0735 Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 [color=violet][/color] His name is Khaled M., but he insists everyone call him Steve J.---including his employer. His reasoning is that he needs to hide his ethnicity because of hate crimes. I'm wondering if he is trying to hide something else. We've dated about four months. In this time I've learned very little about his past or present really. Once when we were near his place of employment he refused to hold hands because he thought he saw someone he worked with sitting outside a cafe. Very early in the relationship he told me he loved me. Then about a month ago when I questioned him he said he didn't think of me even as a girlfriend. (He was aware of my history. I've only been in an intimate relationship with one other guy.) So, of course, I freaked out. He said he was sorry about a week later, affirming that he was not interested in seeing anyone else, adding that I was his girlfriend. One thing I do know is he was engaged about nine months ago and his ex is getting married to someone else this month. He has become very moody and difficult---even refusing to talk. The reason the engagement broke---she was cheating. I asked if he still had feelings for his ex and he said no, but he missed her little daughter. The only time I ever experienced him crying was when talking about his ex's daughter. He has asked me if I was sleeping with anyone else. On more than one occassion he asked me if I would be interested in being with another girl and him of course. I did ask if he has another girl in mind just to see how far he has thought this through. I find his questions odd because he knows I have very little sexual experience. It hurts to know he would think of me as a cheater, etc. Is it true that the questions people ask reveal as much of themselves as the subject? Already know I'm a fool. Just wondering what others see because I feel like I'm missing something.
Mr Spock Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I'm going to put this in my sig tag so I don't keep saying it-go out and buy "he's just not that into you" PLEASE. It will make you laugh. It will make you feel better....
head/heels Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 really, he seems to have way too many problems to fix right now....try back with him later....there is something in there that is just not right i think he might just need emotional contact with someone.....anyone...
Author deb0735 Posted October 22, 2004 Author Posted October 22, 2004 Thanks for the responses. Looks like I won't need to run. When I expressed concerns he became quite upset and hasn't spoken to me since. The real lesson for me is not to believe what a person says about themself. The true person is revealed over time. There are always unanswered questions. For me, I wonder how he can hurt me? He was so concerned that I would hurt him. I asked him if I ever did anything to hurt him and he said I hadn't. Strange, I remember in our most intimate moments he would say 'you know I would never hurt you on purpose' and now I know that was just another lie. Probably will get a copy of 'he's just not that into you.' Hoping it's a little dark. My sense of humour is odd to most. I'm feeling a bit of the Stockholm Syndrom. Gonna have to deal with that next. Thanks-
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