Moved On With Life But Still Not Over Him :(...What Do I Do now?!?!!!!!

[TaylorBe]

Well I’m back!!!...lol

 

Quick background:

 

After dating a guy for 3 months he jokingly said I was so perfect he would boo me up in about 3 years. Although we were joking at the time that statement was made it did cause a serious conversation where he told me that wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. And I told him I wasn’t willing to wait for him to be ready and I immediately started the exit process…which took about 2 months cause I was happy with him when I started walking away. Other than that everything was fine he just didn’t want to move into a relationship until he accomplished his list of goals (5 to be exact).

 

Fast-Forward 6+ months:

 

We’ve pretty much been LC (10% of the time) and NC (90% of the time) of the time. During this time I trained and ran my first ½ marathon, completed my first triathlon, joined a swim team/ running team, started a group on Meetup.com (it’s very popular now we host at least 2 events a week), made new friends, continue to hang out with old friends, started going back to church and started prepping for Grad school.

 

So what’s the problem you ask…well its simple I’m still not over him:eek:. I feel like I’ve done everything people say to do to move on with your life, yet I still think about him daily. It’s been 6 months and although the pain is gone the thoughts and wants are still there. I’ve added all types of activities and friends to my life to keep me busy and even accomplished all of my 2013 vision board goals yet I’m not over him… So I guess my questions are:

 

1. Why am I not over him yet?
   
2. When does the hope that things will work out fade?
   
3. What can I do to get over him? Am I missing somthing?.. I know time is everything but it’s been almost 7 months and I only dated the guy for 3.
   

[StraylightRun24]

Dated a Girl for a little under 4 months. Broke up 6 months ago and I'm in the same boat as you...I'M NOT OVER IT!

 

By the sound of it you are doing great and you should keep doing what you're doing! Some of us just take longer to heal and that's regardless of how long the relationship was. What I tend to think (and maybe I'm just making an excuse for myself) is even though it was a short amount of time you spent with him you developed real deep feelings for him, which is actually a great thing!

 

Sadly I think the only cure is going to be time, but like I said above you seem like you are doing everything in your ability to better yourself and eventually you will get over him!

[Tenderheartbear]

Good thing you knew the truth before he had a chance to string you along for years to come. This is kind of what happened to me except I wasn't so smart. I dated someone for a couple months. It was a whirlwind and I felt like I could see myself with him. We ended things due to being in different places in life. I wanted more obviously. 3 months later he emailed me and we immediately began where we left off. I had been waiting another year and a half for something to progress and it never did. We ended things again just a few weeks ago. I know it hurts but it's true...if he tells you he's not ready, he's telling the truth. It will take some time to get over him. Sometimes I feel like nothing I do will ever help me. Just whatever you do...please don't end up like me unless he comes back ready and willing to give his absolute everything. You will get over him I'm time. At least that's what everyone has been telling me

[TaylorBe]

Thanks for the advice. I know the only cure is time … I just wish I was much further along in the process. Although I am physically living my life to the fullest and free or the hurt/pain, I’m not really enjoying it 100% mentally because this chapter of my life hasn’t closed. I’m ready to move on both physically and mentally but there are no physical options (dating scene is non-existent in the suburbs if your over 21 & under 40 lol) which has me trapped mentally it’s just so frustrating.

[Tenderheartbear]

I hear you 100%. I've felt the EXACT same way. It's like...what the hell?! I learned that there are deeper rooted issues that I need to settle to work on getting over this. I took it upon myself to start therapy. Being active and occupied and all of that is great but it's like Aspirin...it temporarily relieves the pain. I'm not saying therapy works for everyone but true work has to be done on the inside as well. Together with time will set you free.

[Tenderheartbear]

On anther note:

 

I'm in Cali too! North!