Have I ruined my second chance?

[anna-bella]

A few months back I posted I was dumped for being too needy, insecure and always complaining. When we broke up it didn't get nasty.

 

I worked on staying positive and keeping myself occupied, my life turned itself round, my relationships with friends and family improved, and got back on track with the career I want. I will be honest a strong motivation for this was to show my ex things can change. I even took the jump and spoke to my ex boyfriend! It went incredibly well, and he could see how much happier and confident I was.

 

But then… a few weeks into speaking I got comfortable and became clingey and insecure again, I had been working everyday for few weeks and caught a bug so was feeling down, and due to knowing him for so long I took it out on him, and craved TLC.

 

So not only did I get extra clingey, but I nagged when I didn’t hear from him, and got insecure about some things in his life. So now he doesn’t think we should get back together (at all - final veto). I am obviously kicking myself, and wondered if anyone thought there was a way to salvage this?

Edited July 8, 2013 by anna-bella

[TaraMaiden]

This is your first post. How can you have posted 'a few months back'...?

 

Unless you have a new Forum name.

Who were you before?

 

How to salvage this:

 

In a nutshell?

 

Don't even try.

 

I think he's made it pretty clear.

 

And if you are who I think you are - you need serious psychiatric help.

And we've told you that already....

IF - you're who I think you are/were....

[anna-bella]

Hiya, oops that was bad wording on my behalf. I posted on my blog about it a few months back. I kept a weekly diary to help through the break up posting positive things that had happened in the weeks after.

[TaraMaiden]

Okey-dokey.

 

Well, to my mind, you could still probably benefit from some kind of personal therapy.

Dependence on another person is neither healthy nor the norm.

You have to get past this, so maybe the best way of tackling it would be to obtain professional support/guidance.

 

But it doesn't sound like a good dynamic - does it?

[anna-bella]

I'm assuming you mean the ex and I don't make a good dynamic?

 

With the exception of me being needy - we get on great, we aren't exactly alike, but then we aren't complete opposites, so there was a nice balance.

 

It's because of me being more of a 'texter' I guess you could say that made him think we aren't compatible. As I would get impatient.

 

This might just have to be one of those things where I learn from mistakes, and just have to accept that I have messed things up, and he isn't going to want to start seeing me again.

 

I've been kicking myself about it pretty bad, but I am trying to look at it in the way I just wrote above 'learn from our mistakes.' Won't be easy knowing that I was the one who ruined things, but not much else can do.

[BC1980]

No chance to get back together. No one likes someone clingy. People can look past a lot, but neediness is a deal breaker usually.

[Simon Phoenix]

I'm assuming you mean the ex and I don't make a good dynamic?

 

With the exception of me being needy - we get on great, we aren't exactly alike, but then we aren't complete opposites, so there was a nice balance.

 

It's because of me being more of a 'texter' I guess you could say that made him think we aren't compatible. As I would get impatient.

 

This might just have to be one of those things where I learn from mistakes, and just have to accept that I have messed things up, and he isn't going to want to start seeing me again.

 

I've been kicking myself about it pretty bad, but I am trying to look at it in the way I just wrote above 'learn from our mistakes.' Won't be easy knowing that I was the one who ruined things, but not much else can do.

 

Or you need to find someone who likes more frequent communication. I have no idea how much you used to text this guy, but maybe you need a guy that's more willing to be in touch.