girlystuff16 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I recently got out of a 8 month relationship with a guy who I had a strong connection with. The breakup was hard for the both of us but we're both doing our best to be ok with it. We ended on a positive note, I wished him luck on his career, hoped he would one day find an amazing girl and he apologized for the breakup knowing I didn't favour it and assured me that I was an amazing girlfriend and not to beat myself down or change myself for someone else. He broke it off not because he didn't want me but that it just was too hard to have me (we were long distance.) I'm starting to come to terms with that in the long run, it will be for the better. The distance was hard and I'm accepting that not every relationship is built to last no matter how loyal or honest you are or how good of a connection you had. It's been hard, yes, I still break down and cry every now and again simply because I'm lonely and miss talking to him. We talked a day or so after the breakup about how we wanted to go about it. We both assumed each other mean't no contact but reasoned that eventually some contact would be nice. We've been doing just that. However I sort of feel bad after as I removed him from all social networking sites. And he did the same upon realizing that I did. I feel like it was rude considering how positively we ended but I felt it was right because I didn't like seeing what he was up to, who he was hanging out with, etc. I fear that he thinks I hate him or have something over him. I still feel the same about how he was a good boyfriend, etc. So there's no hard feelings. I would one day like the be able to be neutral and refollow him, but is this ever possible? When would be a good time to refollow? Should I remain this way just for the "getting over each other" portion? There's no hard feelings for either of us, the relationship was just too hard to maintain but does this have to mean that we can't be neutral towards each other and have to always be away? Idk, I miss my best friend and I'm unsure of how I'm supposed to deal with a breakup.
TaraMaiden Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Read the No Contact Guide in my signature (item 2). No Contact isn't designed as a tool 'against them' it's designed as a healing too 'FOR you'. What you want to reach is a level of 'benign indifference' - that is, you like the guy, but - "he has a wife, a new baby and a Labrador puppy? Nice. Cool. Meh, who gives a....?" No Contact is a tool to help you heal, move on and get to grips with a 'new you'. If you feel it's appropriate, just send him a short note: "I'm sorry I've blanked you off everywhere. TbH it still hurts a bit, so it's nothing AGAINST you, it's really to help ME heal and move on. Hope you understand. Nothing personal, but I still have hurt feelings and I have to safeguard them. Be well, and Good luck with everything. No need to reply. Thanks". Then leave it at that.
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