rastamoose Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 How the hell did this happen? I have been feeling mostly ok lately, after my breakup. One of my best friends is my ex's brother. I knew at the beginning that it could be hard if we broke up. I was too happy and didn't care at the time. I feel really uncomfortable around him, even his girlfriend. I feel like anything negative they see or hear will get back to my ex. As soon as his mentions my ex ( his sister ) I crumble. He mentioned that she went out the other night. I just got a loads of thoughts and emotions come in. I know she wasn't " The One " and we weren't that much alike. I just feel like I don't want anyone else to have her. I am so jealous of the next person that get's to know her properly. It was so exiting and fun getting to know her. I can't bare the thought of someone else doing the things we did. I am so envious. I know people will say that I should find someone else. Most of my friends know her, and are her friend too. I don't really have friends outside of her. I don't want people talking to her about girls I meet or talk to. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway. I'm not even sure my friends would say anything to her. It's just having that thought. I kind of wish she was a bad girlfriend. I would have something to not like about her. The next guy she gets with is going to be so lucky. Life sucks!
flitzanu Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 i would quickly work on finding a new group of friends that aren't related to your ex, or you're going to be saying these things over and over for a very long time.
theonlyjuan Posted July 6, 2013 Posted July 6, 2013 You need to change your attitude and mentality. Let's say that everything happens for a reason. This happened for a reason and you will have someone better come into your life one day. One day you will look back on this, and all the posts you've made on here and think " What the hell was all that about? " You will get over her. We all have our good and bad days, stay strong. As for your friends...Just ask them as a friend to not mention her to you. Ask them not to mention you to her. When you do meet someone new, even as a friend. You will find yourself seeing your group less. You may even make a new group from meeting a new girl. Even if you meet this girl with your friends, just don't include them in things you do
Author rastamoose Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 I have defiantly hit the depression stage. It's been just over a month since we broke up. I think about her too much, the thoughts just creep in. I hate it. Even when I keep busy, I still think of her. I feel like I am never going to meet anyone again. If I do meet someone I'm scared she won't be the right one. I really don't want to go through all this again. Got that horrible feeling that she's out being happy and not even thinking about me. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. She has probably moved on and I haven't . Going out with friends makes me feel worse. I feel better being alone. Too many of my friends know her. I hate this stage. I don't want to be stuck in depression. How do I stop caring? I've accepted it's over but how do I move on? I don't want to care anymore Thanks
Akiria Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I am actually going through this same situation. Feeling better alone in my room with black metal music. Well i dont really know how to deal with all this. 1 month separation already and it feels like hell. It just isn't going better at all. I don't really know which advice to give you as I have none for myself as well. Just keep going and try to distract yourself whatever way you can. I hope we will make i through without much injury. Try to be strong and tell yourself that you'll be much stronger an individual after all this ****. With time i think you'll get used. Keep going man.
Ordinaryday Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I have defiantly hit the depression stage. It's been just over a month since we broke up. I think about her too much, the thoughts just creep in. I hate it. Even when I keep busy, I still think of her. I feel like I am never going to meet anyone again. If I do meet someone I'm scared she won't be the right one. I really don't want to go through all this again. Got that horrible feeling that she's out being happy and not even thinking about me. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. She has probably moved on and I haven't . Going out with friends makes me feel worse. I feel better being alone. Too many of my friends know her. I hate this stage. I don't want to be stuck in depression. How do I stop caring? I've accepted it's over but how do I move on? I don't want to care anymore Thanks There's no magic solution. I have been SO DEPRESSED since I was dumped nine months ago, I never go out anymore, and I haven't even thought about meeting someone else. I was in the city the other day and from a distance I saw my dumper walking with a new guy, holding hands. Man, that hurt. You wanna know the best advice I can give you, which typically works for me. If you want your mind off of this girl find another girl to get fixated over. Even if she doesn't like you back or she is in a relationship, it doesn't matter. Just get fixated over her. It will make you forget about your ex real quick. And even though yo will still suffer from oneitis, at least it won't hurt AS MUCH. Sorry, this probably wasn't the advice you wanted
Legatus Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 @Ordinaryday is right. You have to get fixated over something or someone. If spending time with friends, new hobbies don't do good for you. Then force yourself to meet someone - only this way you can be truly sure it won't help you. Otherwise you're just speculating that you won't find anyone, but it's mathematically improbable. You will find way better women but sometimes you need a little push. Sometimes you have others to do it for you, but sometimes you have to kick yourself really hard!
Author rastamoose Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 I do kinda like a girl at work. She is 6 years younger than me. She used to go out with one if my friends from work. So yeah it's awkward lol
Bozena Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 well I am a woman but it's the same for me. And the fact that we have so many common friends makes it worse because they still feeding me with his news, even when I have told them to shut up. Well it's worse for me because I am not in my country and I don't have friends here. I thought so many times of finding another to move my interest but I just can. There are a lot of guys after me but I don't like anyone. And there is a guy who I am pretty sure that I would have fallen for him if the situation was different, but I really can't. He is smart, handsome, intelligent and we have the same interests. But no, it doesn't work. I really don't know what to do and what advice to give you. Since I am a girl, going out with friends helps me, but still, most of the friends that I have in this place went out for holidays.
eddyctv Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Stupid me, I just looked up my ex on Facebook, and while there are no pics of her with another guy, she put up new pics and she looks absolutely rediculous. I feel so sick right now. Note to self - NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Author rastamoose Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Although I am meant to be "friends" with my ex, I started a NC a week today. That was when I saw her last. I didn't tell her I was going NC and 7 days was the longest I have done. Guess who walks into the store I work at? My ex! we spoke very briefly. I was hoping to at least make it a month n see how i felt after. So annoying
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