sarah1268 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I'm freaking out. I'm going over to his place tomorrow after work. I can finally get my beloved CD's back and say a proper goodbye to his mum and dad who I loved so much. Four years I was part of their family, now I'm a stranger. We will return each others house keys. He will brag to me like he did on the phone about how awesome his new job in stockbroking is. Idiot, I told him when I was with him he should do it. Never listens. He's even stopped smoking weed. Are you ****ing kidding me? He's going to be the man I wanted him to be. Some other girl is going to get the new and improved version of him where all I had was the drugged up, depressed, debt ridden version. Despite all that I loved him and I still miss him. Everyday I force myself to believe I'm better off now with out him, but I'm not. He was a genius, kind and genuine and no man I have ever met comes close. I've met a lot of men. I'm worried I'm faking my strength and in fact i'm weak and I will break down when I see him. Or worse, have sex with him. I'm so scared about my reaction. I'll try and keep it together. Should I act happy, angry, numb? Ahh I know one thing is for sure, I have to look absolutely stunning. In jeans. Effortless chic. It can be done. I'll plan my outfit and do my make up the way he liked it, minimal mascara so if I cry I wont look like a wreck. See, now I'm distracting myself from the pain. It totally works.
Talulah Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Idiot, I told him when I was with him he should do it. Never listens. He's even stopped smoking weed. Are you ****ing kidding me? He's going to be the man I wanted him to be. Some other girl is going to get the new and improved version of him where all I had was the drugged up, depressed, debt ridden version. I hate when that happens, they never listen when they are with you, even when you nag them like a mom. Then, they take some time to change and become everything that you told them that they should be. I'm sorry that you are going through it. I'm still in pain over mine.
Legatus Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I am probably going to see my ex first time since break up as well. She will finally pick her things up and leave the keys (I'm going on holiday tomorrow so at least I don't have to worry). You have to keep it together. Be civilized but do not act emotionally towards him. As you said the other girl now gets improved version, I understand your pain. I am in similar situation. But think about it in a way that it's you who actually made a difference in his life to make him change. I know it doesn't mean much, but for me personally, the fact that I wasn't just another man in the line makes all the difference. If I know that she'll learn from mistakes and my advice, then at least I will go on living with the fact that our relationship had a meaning in greater scheme of things.. You should too. You will meet a better men then he currently is, no doubt there. You shouldn't try to impress him anymore, it's not your "job". Just be yourself, do what you need to do, don't expect anything from him. Say goodbye and I'm sure you will feel better
Talulah Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 maybe if you stopped to pretend to be our moms, because really we have moms who nag us anyway and we dont sleep with them anymore (not since childhood). Sure the day that you stop acting like immature children who need to be scolded, then we'll stop nagging. Go ahead, I challenge you.
Author sarah1268 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 It was a mutual break up. We just had a fight and stopped talking until he called me a few weeks ago. I guess I could take some credit for his positive changes. I guess we were just the practice relationship before he finds a wifey. That's what happens when you get into a serious relationship at 18. Who stays together right? To be honest, I didnt nag him. I was the 'cool' gf. Even brought him a bong for his birthday haha. I think I was just too busy trying to be the cool girlfriend and just ignored my own wants until I resented him. He resented me too, not sure why. Maybe it was because I had my **** together and he was a mess.
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