kara03 Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 About a year and a half ago, my then-boyfriend and I broke up... it was a really really hard breakup for both of us. Now, I've been dating a new guy for about 5 months... and things just don't mesh well anymore. I know, in my heart, that we definitely should not be together, that we're just not right for each other... but I've got this problem in the sense that I don't want to hurt him (and I know i will if i break it off with him)... any suggestions on how to break up with someone in a way that the other party isn't as hurt?
kellydontwanttasleep Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 just do it and don't worry about it
Miss Perfection Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Originally posted by kellydontwanttasleep just do it and don't worry about it LOL!!! Yeah do what kellydontwanttasleep says...who cares about him. LOL (MORON) That has to be the most illogical advice I've ever heard...but im not surprised its coming from a woman. LOL You make me SICK!!!! Kara03......can I ask why you arent "feeling" this guy anymore?
Adunaphel Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Do the breaking up in person. Not by phone, e-mail, fax, answering machine. At his place, or yours. (Some chickensh*t people will choose to inform their SO the relationship is over at a restaurant or a public place to avoid the drama....*awful*) If he asks for some explanation, be willing to talk about it as much as he wants. Don't blame him. Many people blame the other person for the breakup just because it's easier. Let him know it's you, not him(unless it really *is* him!) Let him know that there are absolutely no other guys involved (he will ask). Let him know that it is *really* over, so he can not delude himself that there is a chance to get back together. If you are 100%positive you don't want to be with him, avoid any sentence like "who knows, perhaps, in the future, we could get back together" (if you are *not* sure, please reconsider leaving him. communicate that there are problems instead) Don't break up with him on his birthday, before he has an important examination or a job interview. The best day to break up with him would be thursday or friday (not friday evening) ...it's better if he has a lot of time to see his friends after the breakup, so he can get some support from them, and perhaps they can cheer him up.
bluechocolate Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 any suggestions on how to break up with someone in a way that the other party isn't as hurt? Move to a different country & leave no contact details. But seriously, if the other party doesn't want to end it then there are going to be hurt feelings - there is no escaping that. Certainly don't stay with someone just because you're afraid of hurting their feelings. Adunaphel's suggestiongs are all quite good.
iceprincess Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Just be honest about it and tell him how you feel. It's better to tell him now than to lead him on for the next couple of weeks. I'm sure if you tell him that you don't want to hurt him but that you're doing this for him also (because you don't want to hurt him AND yourself in the long run), then he'll appreciate it that you were up front with him.
YellowLioness Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 quote:Originally posted by kellydontwanttasleep just do it and don't worry about it LOL!!! Yeah do what kellydontwanttasleep says...who cares about him. LOL (MORON) That has to be the most illogical advice I've ever heard...but im not surprised its coming from a woman. LOL You make me SICK!!!! Miss Priss... you're strange.
whichwayisup Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Just be honest about it and tell him how you feel. It's better to tell him now than to lead him on for the next couple of weeks. I'm sure if you tell him that you don't want to hurt him but that you're doing this for him also (because you don't want to hurt him AND yourself in the long run), then he'll appreciate it that you were up front with him. Perfectly put! I agree 100%
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