inlove4sure Posted October 20, 2004 Posted October 20, 2004 Hey everyone, I am having problems I don't know how to deal with. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 14 months, and we were madly in love. Everything was perfect and we always just planned on being together forever and getting married, blah, blah, blah. We started getting in a routine where we were in love and we were never spontaneous or anything, but we knew we loved each other. About a month ago, she started hanging out with her friends and wanted to spend more time with them. At first I was scared about it, but then I realized I was being dumb and it was no problem. Then, she always seemed to be mad at me, and I couldn't figure out what the deal was. Finally she told me she was "overwhelmed by us" so I suggested that we take a break. She agreed it was the best thing, but we agreed to still talk during this break. WE also planned the break to last 3 weeks, and then we would go on a date on our 14 month anniversary and see how things were. One week after we went on the break, she all of a sudden dint call me anymore, and she wouldn't answer her phone. After 3 days I got ahold of her and she said she doesn't think we need to talk everyday during the break, and I said OK, I would just appreciate it if you would be straight up and tell me that from the beginning. So she agreed to call me the next night and we would figure out what we both wanted. I never got a call the next night, and I didn't call her back either. One week later, I called her and got no answer, so I didn't call again. The next day I called her mom to see how things were going, b/c her mom was like my mom. I then got a text message later that day saying "Please don't call my family, Thank you". I was stunned I have never seen this side of her, and i couldn't believe it. I know this break is good for us, and I have found a lot of things out in the 3 weeks we have been apart. Everyone keeps telling me not to call her and so on. I have done this, and figured some things out about myself and about us. In the end, I don't want to lose her. I still love her with everything I am. There was never a problem before this, I treated her like a princess and she would admit that. I am tired of sitting around and doing nothing, I want to get my girlfriend back. She still wont answer, and I keep leaving her messages. The main thing I am wanting help with is knowing what to say to her. I am just wanting to see her once and let her know what I have learned from this break. I miss her. I am not going to lose her, I will do everything in my power to win her back. What can I say or do to show her she is everything to me, and that even with the stuff that has happened, I don't care, I just want to move on and have her in my life? I will do anything, but I don't want to sit around and lose my girlfriend I want her back. We are young(She is 18 and I'm 19), and I know we have our whole lives ahead of us, but she is right for me. I love her with everything I am, and I just want to hear her voice. Any advice in this situation would be great to have. But I refuse to sit around and let her go, SHE MEANS TOO MUCH TO ME!!!!!! Thanks a ton.
deb0735 Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Would you treat someone you loved the way she is treating you? I remember a boyfriend once called and said "I won't be leaving messages anymore because I don't want to take the chance that I'm offending you." He didn't call back and I appreciated it.(The reason I didn't return the calls is that I didn't want to keep leading him on. I didn't feel the way he felt and he just didn't seem to be getting it.) Don't know if this senerio applies to you. I wish you well.
Author inlove4sure Posted October 21, 2004 Author Posted October 21, 2004 Well, i know she wants her time, but I know she loves and cares about me, and I am going crazy and I really need to hear from her, even if it is bad I want her to be honest with me. She has told me she knows we are going to be together in the end, but I dont know what to believe anymore. I do know she loves me, but she is just hanging with the wrong crowd and getting the wrong influences. Thanks for the help. Any more advice? from anyone? I would really appreciate some. Thanks
surfergirl Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 I'm so sorry she has broken your heart and now you're left to pick up the pieces. She may not be ready to go forward anymore with this relationship and if that's her choice you need to respect that no matter how bad it hurts. Give her some space and if it's meant to be it will - I know easier said than done. Remember to breath - in and out - in and out - as long as your breathing you will be ok. It's better to find out now that she's not ready than to get married with kids and then find out she needs her space. Hold your head up and don't go around with the "beat dog" look, hopefully if she sees you looking confident in who you are with or without her then maybe she'll come back to you - if not you're sure to find someone who is into you. Good luck SG
Author inlove4sure Posted October 21, 2004 Author Posted October 21, 2004 Still looking for some advice. She is getting pulled in by her friends. They are all trying to convince her to just leave me and hang out with them. I am worried about her, because she is such a respectable girl, and she is lowering herself into situations she doesnt want to be in. Even if we never got back together, I would rather her stay safe and not partake in the things she is doing. Its not her, she is just being majorly influenced. I just want to know what I can say to her that will make her think about what she is doing in general, and what she is doing to me?
surfergirl Posted October 21, 2004 Posted October 21, 2004 Maybe since she will not talk to you - you should sit down and hand write her a letter. Tell her how you feel and that you are concerned with her actions. Other than that I don't see where you have a lot of options. I'm sure she will regret some things later on but there's not much you can do. Once she receives the letter explaining how you feel and your concerns for her and she still chooses the lifepath she's taking - you've pretty much done all you can do. I would be annoyed by someone who called all the time or just happened to be in the same place as me.....choose carefully how you approach her if indeed you want her back and be sure not to "preach" at her. I know watching helplessly someone you love make mistakes is awful but sometimes they have to fall on their face to realize they are making mistakes.....then it will be your choice as to whether you are there to pick her up or not.
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