Why do men beg for my phone number and then never call??

[90s kid]

I have a question that's been driving me crazy. I get approached by men a lot and from time to time I will give a guy my phone number if I'm truly interested. But sometimes they don't call and I don't understand why. Why go through the trouble of chasing me down and practically begging for my phone number and then never call me?? Here's a few instances I can think of off the top of my head:

 

1. A while ago, I met this guy at the grocery store. I was walking in while he was walking out, and he literally did a U-turn and ran back into the store to talk to me. We chatted for a bit and he asked me for my phone number. I wasn't really interested so I said no. The guy would not take no for an answer and literally got his calendar out on his phone so he could lock in a set date and time that him and I could have lunch that week. He said he would meet me anytime and anywhere to spend time with me. At this point, I wasn't sure but I gave in and gave him my number and said bye. HE NEVER CALLED ME. Wtf?

 

2. This weekend I was at a big party and was approached by a guy while I was with my friends. The two of us started talking for a few minutes and eventually he asked me for my phone number. He texted me later that night and we met up again later in the night at the party. I thought he was super cute and I thought it was nice that he was looking for me at the party and wanted to continue talking. Especially since there were so many other beautiful women there that he could have been talking to. We talked for a while and I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he really liked me. We even danced for a while and he was holding my hand and dancing REALLY close to me. After a while, we said goodbye and I went back to my friends. This morning, I sent him a text. It's been all day and he hasn't responded yet. I seriously doubt this guy hasn't seen my text all day. And if he was truly interested in me, wouldn't he have responded right away? It's so confusing because this guy made it clear that he was very into me.

 

Why do men do this? Why go through all that trouble if you're not gonna follow through? Maybe they do this to women all the time? Or maybe it's all a game to them and they just want to see if they can get my phone number or not.

 

Please give me some insight on this.

[Eggplant]

I'm not a guy, and I've never asked for anybody's number. Until somebody with better credentials to answer comes along, here's my guess. The guys get about a million numbers. Then on Friday night, they just go down through a long list, dialing until somebody wants to hang out. Your number perhaps they never got to... ?

[jphcbpa]

Seriously that guy at the grocery store probably sees it as a challenge and tries to pull numbers all day long.

 

IMO, they are doing you a favor by not calling.

[Arabella]

Simple answer... because it never hurts to have another option in store!

[Eddie Edirol]

Seriously that guy at the grocery store probably sees it as a challenge and tries to pull numbers all day long.

 

IMO, they are doing you a favor by not calling.

 

Thats what it is. Guys have to go through the trouble of doing the cold approaches to you gals, they have to practice and they have to keep practicing to find women that are actually interested. Women who just wait for guys to come to them will never understand how this works. So if these guys knew what they were doing, they were gauging your reaction to giving out your number, realized that you gave it to them under duress, and said "Screw her, this other girl acted more interested, I'll give HER a call."

 

And thats exactly what SHOULD happen. If you arent interested in the guy, you shouldnt give him your number just because you dont have the courage to say no, and he shouldnt call you when he thinks he didnt get the reaction he wanted.

 

I know I used to take tons of numbers and only call the ones that seemed interested. Now if I approach, I dont take numbers from aloof women, I just move on to the next. Too many interesting people out there to waste call time on duds.

 

What I want to know is why you are worried about getting calls from guys you gave your number to what you werent interested in- in the first place. Did you ego take a blow when they rejected you?

Edited July 8, 2013 by Eddie Edirol

[90s kid]

Thats what it is. Guys have to go through the trouble of doing the cold approaches to you gals, they have to practice and they have to keep practicing to find women that are actually interested. Women who just wait for guys to come to them will never understand how this works. So if these guys knew what they were doing, they were gauging your reaction to giving out your number, realized that you gave it to them under duress, and said "Screw her, this other girl acted more interested, I'll give HER a call."

 

And thats exactly what SHOULD happen. If you arent interested in the guy, you shouldnt give him your number just because you dont have the courage to say no, and he shouldnt call you when he thinks he didnt get the reaction he wanted.

 

I know I used to take tons of numbers and only call the ones that seemed interested. Now if I approach, I dont take numbers from aloof women, I just move on to the next. Too many interesting people out there to waste call time on duds.

 

What I want to know is why you are worried about getting calls from guys you gave your number to what you werent interested in- in the first place. Did you ego take a blow when they rejected you?

 

 

Hmm okay. I agree that men will probably spend their time with someone who seemed more interested. But I really was interested in the second guy. We talked and danced that night. I even took the initiative to text him the next day. (Update: He did text me back early this morning).

 

It's not about my ego per se. I don't necessarily think that it has anything to do with me. I figure they must have found my attractive if they approached me in the first place. It's the fact that I've never been the type to give out my number to guys. But lately, I've been trying to be more open and give them a chance. I don't know how to explain it but I feel like I'm being more vulnerable by giving out my number and when they don't follow through it's confusing. Maybe I need to have a more nonchalant attitude about the whole thing.

[MissBee]

I have a question that's been driving me crazy. I get approached by men a lot and from time to time I will give a guy my phone number if I'm truly interested. But sometimes they don't call and I don't understand why. Why go through the trouble of chasing me down and practically begging for my phone number and then never call me?? Here's a few instances I can think of off the top of my head:

 

1. A while ago, I met this guy at the grocery store. I was walking in while he was walking out, and he literally did a U-turn and ran back into the store to talk to me. We chatted for a bit and he asked me for my phone number. I wasn't really interested so I said no. The guy would not take no for an answer and literally got his calendar out on his phone so he could lock in a set date and time that him and I could have lunch that week. He said he would meet me anytime and anywhere to spend time with me. At this point, I wasn't sure but I gave in and gave him my number and said bye. HE NEVER CALLED ME. Wtf?

 

2. This weekend I was at a big party and was approached by a guy while I was with my friends. The two of us started talking for a few minutes and eventually he asked me for my phone number. He texted me later that night and we met up again later in the night at the party. I thought he was super cute and I thought it was nice that he was looking for me at the party and wanted to continue talking. Especially since there were so many other beautiful women there that he could have been talking to. We talked for a while and I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he really liked me. We even danced for a while and he was holding my hand and dancing REALLY close to me. After a while, we said goodbye and I went back to my friends. This morning, I sent him a text. It's been all day and he hasn't responded yet. I seriously doubt this guy hasn't seen my text all day. And if he was truly interested in me, wouldn't he have responded right away? It's so confusing because this guy made it clear that he was very into me.

 

Why do men do this? Why go through all that trouble if you're not gonna follow through? Maybe they do this to women all the time? Or maybe it's all a game to them and they just want to see if they can get my phone number or not.

 

Please give me some insight on this.

 

 

For some men, it's all about the chase...some stop at getting your number and some stop at after they've slept with you. I don't worry about it too much when a man chases me for my number and never calls....I've just learned that some men are like that and I wouldn't want to be with a flake anyway, so if they don't call...I'm like who knows why?! I don't, and it doesn't even matter.

 

As for the guy who hasn't texted back, it could be for lots of reasons. I hate text sometimes for this reason, as it is subject to more questions like: what if they didn't see it, what if it didn't go through, what if it got lost in other texts lol. He could have seen it but is busy and will respond later, or he doesn't feel like responding now, or is taking his sweet time, or doesn't care so will get to it when he does, or he didn't get it. I'd not bother to get worked up....wait and see. Just like you texted him because you were interested, if he is, he will respond or get in touch later.If he doesn't or is flaky or hot and cold: drop him and don't get tangled in the drama of the hot and cold guy (it's crazy-making!)

[Eddie Edirol]

It's not about my ego per se. I don't necessarily think that it has anything to do with me. I figure they must have found my attractive if they approached me in the first place. It's the fact that I've never been the type to give out my number to guys. But lately, I've been trying to be more open and give them a chance. I don't know how to explain it but I feel like I'm being more vulnerable by giving out my number and when they don't follow through it's confusing. Maybe I need to have a more nonchalant attitude about the whole thing.

 

Yeah, thats your ego. You are feeling rejected when they dont call. Thats the feeling of vunerability. You put yourself out there and dont get the result you expect. Especially with the guy you were interested in. Dont worry about it, its part of the game, and you get used to it. So if they dont call you, it means either they found someone more fitting, or they just wanted to get laid and didnt think you'd make it easy.

[90s kid]

Thanks, I appreciate the input.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

I have a question that's been driving me crazy. I get approached by men a lot and from time to time I will give a guy my phone number if I'm truly interested. But sometimes they don't call and I don't understand why. Why go through the trouble of chasing me down and practically begging for my phone number and then never call me?? Here's a few instances I can think of off the top of my head:

 

1. A while ago, I met this guy at the grocery store. I was walking in while he was walking out, and he literally did a U-turn and ran back into the store to talk to me. We chatted for a bit and he asked me for my phone number. I wasn't really interested so I said no. The guy would not take no for an answer and literally got his calendar out on his phone so he could lock in a set date and time that him and I could have lunch that week. He said he would meet me anytime and anywhere to spend time with me. At this point, I wasn't sure but I gave in and gave him my number and said bye. HE NEVER CALLED ME. Wtf?

 

2. This weekend I was at a big party and was approached by a guy while I was with my friends. The two of us started talking for a few minutes and eventually he asked me for my phone number. He texted me later that night and we met up again later in the night at the party. I thought he was super cute and I thought it was nice that he was looking for me at the party and wanted to continue talking. Especially since there were so many other beautiful women there that he could have been talking to. We talked for a while and I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he really liked me. We even danced for a while and he was holding my hand and dancing REALLY close to me. After a while, we said goodbye and I went back to my friends. This morning, I sent him a text. It's been all day and he hasn't responded yet. I seriously doubt this guy hasn't seen my text all day. And if he was truly interested in me, wouldn't he have responded right away? It's so confusing because this guy made it clear that he was very into me.

 

Why do men do this? Why go through all that trouble if you're not gonna follow through? Maybe they do this to women all the time? Or maybe it's all a game to them and they just want to see if they can get my phone number or not.

 

Please give me some insight on this.

 

You're making the assumption that these men aren't shopping around. I wouldn't take a number if I didn't have any intention on calling. Maybe in that time they met someone they really liked. Could be any number of reasons.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

Thanks, I appreciate the input.

 

Problem is, men and women often only really let in the kind of people they think or expect will be good for them/compatible. Sometimes, attraction hits you when you least expect it, with the person you never considered you would be attracted to.

 

Physical is physical, but if there's no real connection made with the heart and mind there's really no attraction. Next time someone asks for your number, stop and have a chat with them. I've never had any woman not return my call, the first time nor give me a phony number, though, it happens to a lot of people.