BluEyeL Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I don't really relate to missing crazyness. Yes, switching things around, trying new things, going to new places, yes to all of that, but I do not prefer crazy intensity, screaming matches, alcohol, fights or whatever else of the sort. Not even in my 20s, I was always "boring". Never got drunk, never smoked pot, never even smoked a regular cigarette, never broke plates:laugh:
xxoo Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Didn't he go skydiving with you??? That would be all the excitement I could handle for a year! I just call this phenomenon: Real Life. We have work schedules and budget. In my case, we have kids and responsibilities. We don't get to be all that spontaneous and carefree anymore. What we do is let loose in the bedroom. We have our crazy times there. I often describe sex with my H as "transporting"...because it takes me away, mentally, from the realities of day to day life. If the sex was lackluster, I'd probably be much more antsy. 2
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 This will be my last post here since all issues were brought up and resolved. Moment of reminiscing left me feeling in a blah mood. All is well. I don't miss being crazy or partying, with all the planning of him leaving and our current state of being "stuck" just left me yearning for an adventure with him. Money is tight, we don't have a car and the past few months priority has been preparing for him leaving. I love his boring old self, as I tend to love the lifestyle. Everyonce in a while I just need a break from it. I'm just happy he is someone I can just vent to, and if anything is bothering me, he makes an effort. That means the world to me, considering I know how some things don't come naturally. Thanks again everyone.
Author miss_jaclynrae Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Didn't he go skydiving with you??? That would be all the excitement I could handle for a year! I just call this phenomenon: Real Life. We have work schedules and budget. In my case, we have kids and responsibilities. We don't get to be all that spontaneous and carefree anymore. What we do is let loose in the bedroom. We have our crazy times there. I often describe sex with my H as "transporting"...because it takes me away, mentally, from the realities of day to day life. If the sex was lackluster, I'd probably be much more antsy. This definitely made me chuckle. That is exactly what it is. Real life.
tbf Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Notice how you see-sawed from an abusive, dramatic marriage, to a safe, predictable guy and are now mildly bored, missing the roller coaster drama that evokes intense emotions within you? Also, based on timing, part of this might surround a form of envy since he's going to study abroad. Since you'll be left behind, you're stirring up potential relationship drama to offset, looking to your SO to create excitement for you. Hopefully one day you'll find balance, finding stimulation from within. 2
KungFuJoe Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I know, personally, I would NOT be with someone who wasn't outgoing or a "party girl", for lack of a better term. My first gf didn't drink, didn't want to go to clubs, didn't like parties or big social events, and wasn't very social outside of her circle of friends. It obviously didn't work out for us as I found I was sort of living "two lives". One life was the "fun" life...going out all the time with friends (male and female) to clubs, bars, parties, etc. Then my other life was the everyday, so-so, with my gf doing the bf/gf thing...whatever that was. The problem was my "fun" life became more important to me. I wanted to CONTINUE that part of my life whereas the life with my gf had come to a standstill, was growing stagnant, and it was...there. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I have a gf right now dating a guy who doesn't drink much and gets drunk on half a glass of wine. She used to come out with us all the time. They left my birthday party at 9:30 last week. She's getting bored as sh*t. 1
MrCastle Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I'm not sure if people with two different lifestyles can make it work long term. I think you both need to value the same things. I don't want to paint an extreme picture like you're Snooki and he's a grandpa but just saying. It all depends on how much you value that lifestyle. I couldn't make it work with a woman who was heavy or even moderately into drinking or partying as I go to a bar maybe 3 times a year. For special occassions. I'm just not that guy. Doesn't make me any more or less fun, I just find other things fun.
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