Blue_sky Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Hi everyone!! im writing to see if i can get some answers to something, which to me is all new. My boyfriend has gone to afghanistan 1 week ago, and before he left he was the best boyfriend ever... there was no day we dont talk, and tell me how much he loves me and likes to be with me... but a few days before he left everything changed... he hardly spoke me, and now that he is there tells me he misses me and he cant wait to see me again, but a few days ago he stopped talking me again, i write for facebook, he read the messages, but he dont answer.... this happened to any?? i feel that he is ignore me. or cant answer??? I need some advice. Thanks for read!
NJtoDC Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Hi everyone!! im writing to see if i can get some answers to something, which to me is all new. My boyfriend has gone to afghanistan 1 week ago, and before he left he was the best boyfriend ever... there was no day we dont talk, and tell me how much he loves me and likes to be with me... but a few days before he left everything changed... he hardly spoke me, and now that he is there tells me he misses me and he cant wait to see me again, but a few days ago he stopped talking me again, i write for facebook, he read the messages, but he dont answer.... this happened to any?? i feel that he is ignore me. or cant answer??? I need some advice. Thanks for read! We need more information. Firstly, is your BF deployed in Afghanistan? If so, I would try to give him some leeway. He has enough on his mind without you being worried about the meaning of unanswered facebook messages. If he is deployed he needs support not neediness. Sorry you are struggling here either way.
Author Blue_sky Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Yes he is deployed for 9 months. I know he has many things to worry about before watch for facebook or whatever. I have never been with a soldier, is all new to me...
miss_jaclynrae Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 What type of base is he at? What job? I would so no contact is normal, but it really depends on the amount of access he has. At some bases my ex could go online once every few days, then sometimes he would be inaccessible for week or months. How long were you guys together for before he left?
Author Blue_sky Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 he is sergeant, and we have been 2 months before he left. But like i said this is the first time im with a soldier.... maybe i just need a little patience, but it will be very hard these 9 months
USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Luckily it's not this way anymore for most people, but would you be ok with not talking to him for an entire 9 months? Depending on where he is, you should strongly consider buying ipads for the both of you and doing FaceTime or Skype. Most importantly, stop adding drama to his life because you have drama in your own. 1
Author Blue_sky Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 yeah, i told him that when i can see and told me that when i get home.... i told him i want to see before, but he didnt answer....
USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 yeah, i told him that when i can see and told me that when i get home.... i told him i want to see before, but he didnt answer.... Huh? You want to see him before he gets home...? Are you planning on going out there too...?
Star Gazer Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 It's totally normal. It's an adjustment for many of them when they first get over there. I'd suggest visiting the forums at militarysos.com as there are TONS of women in your exact shoes (or have been).
Author Blue_sky Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 no no, i mean for skype.. anyway, if he cant talk ... he couldnt connect to the internet no?
umirano Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 you should strongly consider buying ipads for the both of you and doing FaceTime or Skype. How is the hardware relevant here? Skype runs on almost anything. Linux, Windows, iOS... OP, if he can read fb messages he can also reply. So I'd definitely bring this up. Ofc he doesn't need drama. But you're in a RS with him and if he starts reading messages but not replying you have every right to know why that is. Just ask about it in a friendly and quiet manner. Depending on his specific mission he may not be able / allowed to connect to public networks. Front line units come to mind. If he hangs out in a huge logistics base I don't see how he cannot drop you a message from time to time. What branch of the military is he in? Did he explain to you what he will be doing over there? Good luck! 1
USMCHokie Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 How is the hardware relevant here? Skype runs on almost anything. Linux, Windows, iOS... Just speaking from personal experience. Specifically where I am, Apple's FaceTime works great while Skype is very hit-or-miss; more miss than hit.
umirano Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Yeah, at times Skype is very dicey. Still grateful for it though. Well, as we all learned we pay a price to the us government for using it anyway, so it isn't really free and probably never has been. OT, I know.
Author Blue_sky Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 Well, today i talked to him.... i asked if it was ok.. and he said he was very busy because this on a big base, and now he goes to a smaller..he told me he misses me and that we will be able to talk more when he is on the small base. but i dont know, this is very weird for me.
USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Well, today i talked to him.... i asked if it was ok.. and he said he was very busy because this on a big base, and now he goes to a smaller..he told me he misses me and that we will be able to talk more when he is on the small base. but i dont know, this is very weird for me. This runs counter to my experience...comm (i.e., the "interwebz") gets worse at smaller installations simply due to reduced communications infrastructure. He may have more time at the smaller base, but he'll likely have far ess or worse internet connectivity. Just FYI.
Author Blue_sky Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 yes, i thought that too... But i also think that if he really dont want to be with me more he would not be so stupid to lying to me... how hard will be these 9 months !!!... i will not be able....
USMCHokie Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 how hard will be these 9 months !!!... i will not be able.... Then you have to seriously consider just ending things. You've only been dating for two months, hardly enough time to establish a feeling of commitment and emotional bonding. If you're having issues with it now, just wait until month 7 or 8 hits. Whether it's due to him being too busy, or him not interested in talking to you, or him not being able to to talk to you, he's not meeting your emotional needs. This will eat at you, and you'll inevitably blow up at him.
Author Blue_sky Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 yeah you are right, maybe it is better to be friends, and when he comes back... we see what happens...
Chris516 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 Is he in a non-combat unit during his deployment to Afghanistan? Because if he is, then you might have reason to be concerned. But if he is in a combat unit, his unit could be sent on 'maneuvers' at any time. Here is a list of all the bases in Afghanistan that the U.S. military has:Category:Military bases of the United States in Afghanistan - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Author Blue_sky Posted July 12, 2013 Author Posted July 12, 2013 i was talking with him, i asked if he was still interested in me, said that of course but this week had been crazy and things have to calm down now.. anyway is a bit distant, but i will not tell anything more.... thank you very much for your answers!!!
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