frostythesnowman Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Well, just saw her and her other ex out getting a movie. Was with other mutual friends, walked into the store and then when I saw them together with their backs turned a little ways ahead of us I just turned and walked away back to the car. I was almost in shock from seeing her and didn't want it to be real. What's worse is the car door was locked and I had to wait for my friends to be done shopping for them to unlock the door, and in the meantime my ex and her other ex passed me. She walked right past me as if she hadnt even seen me, and I did the same Long story short if you dont know my situation I am my ex's old boyfriend who was dumped and then given breadcrumbs for a while as she fell in love with a new guy and had a relationship with him; was told this summer by her that she was "figuring out things with him for this summer" and that's when I finally started NC which was a month ago. Have made a conscious effort to block her out of my life and seeing this just tore me apart. I feel as bad as I did when I was first broken up with a couple years ago. Part of me just wants to say f-uck it and text her something mean, even though obviously I shouldn't. I'm just extremely mad all at once, and extremely sad. Your response may be, "well this will now just clear any hope of being with her and should help you move on" but that isn't how it is. I have lost hope and given up, truly trying to move on, but this just set me back a million steps. I guess I sound pretty dramatic but this just killed me inside
bloke123 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Just forget about it and don't let it get to you. Go get something delicious to eat or treat yourself or something like that. I've been in a similar situation. A couple months after I broke up with my college girlfriend, I was headed to a bar with some friends. We decided to walk. About a block from the bar, we passed a bank building with large floor-to-floor glass windows. As we passed them, we saw a couple making out. After a look in the mirror, I realized it was my ex and some new guy. It hurt for a while, especially when I broke NC and got a denial. Just have to move on in any way you can. That's all you can do. 1
aloneinaz Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Dude, you need to work on your self esteem. You broke up two years ago and are still hung up on her? Have you dated at all? If not, why not??? Why give so much attention to someone who doesn't want you? Seriously, work on you, your confidence and self esteem so you can date someone new.
Talulah Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 You realize that she is a bad person, right? she strings people alone and then leaves them. There's something wrong there. If you need to move on, then date someone new and flaunt it in her face. It took me a very long time to fully get over someone who went back to his ex too, they are now married. Looking back at it now, being sad for all those years was a big waste of time and I realized that I was just confused bout my life and career. Instead, it was easier to focus on a failed relationship, somewhere where I thought that I had control. I miss my current ex but I know that we are not together for healthy reasons, bot because he was a bad person. No girl like that deserves your love.
Author frostythesnowman Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Dude, you need to work on your self esteem. You broke up two years ago and are still hung up on her? Have you dated at all? If not, why not??? Why give so much attention to someone who doesn't want you? Seriously, work on you, your confidence and self esteem so you can date someone new. If you want the full story and any explanation, read my old threads. She really kept me on a string with hope and while we were in school together would pull me back in once I was interested in someone else. Right now I'm on summer break with everyone who I've known in my home town for years, so no one to date. I'm hoping it'll be different when I go back to college and actually attempt to find a new girl
Author frostythesnowman Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Just forget about it and don't let it get to you. Go get something delicious to eat or treat yourself or something like that. I've been in a similar situation. A couple months after I broke up with my college girlfriend, I was headed to a bar with some friends. We decided to walk. About a block from the bar, we passed a bank building with large floor-to-floor glass windows. As we passed them, we saw a couple making out. After a look in the mirror, I realized it was my ex and some new guy. It hurt for a while, especially when I broke NC and got a denial. Just have to move on in any way you can. That's all you can do. That sounds ****ty, and I can imagine you felt pretty similar to how I do. I plan on continuing NC and whatnot, but now I just feel like I was set back a bunch with the process. In the back of my mind I guess I hoped not having me in her life was affecting her life just as much as mine. Obviously that isn't the case, and maybe it's still affecting her life a little but that doesn't really change much as one can see. You realize that she is a bad person, right? she strings people alone and then leaves them. There's something wrong there. If you need to move on, then date someone new and flaunt it in her face. It took me a very long time to fully get over someone who went back to his ex too, they are now married. Looking back at it now, being sad for all those years was a big waste of time and I realized that I was just confused bout my life and career. Instead, it was easier to focus on a failed relationship, somewhere where I thought that I had control. I miss my current ex but I know that we are not together for healthy reasons, bot because he was a bad person. No girl like that deserves your love. I'm trying to figure out why this is so hard for me after so much time. I guess she has just been a huge emotional crutch as I have been for her, and seeing her that little bit with someone else destroyed me
Author frostythesnowman Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 As the day has gone on, I have begun to feel worse and worse- more and more steps back. Being busy today hasn't helped, and all I can think about is how she is completely fine without me in her life and how she cried telling me that me being happy is what is most important to her and that she needs me, yet one month later is obviously doing more than well. I even feel like I did her and her other guy a favor by making things less complicated because now I'm not in the picture to complicate things. If you want more info on my story and her and her other guy, just read my past threads Is there a reason I ran into her at an extremely random time at an extremely random place? Or is it just more bad luck on my part, and another few steps back to make getting over her even harder on me
supaflyz Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 That must have been tough. I understand all the feelings came rushing back and you felt bad. I hope I don't see my ex out with her new boyfriend. I just couldn't understand how she turn so cold. We use to do everything together. I hope you feel better man. There are good and bad days. Just have to be strong and live through it. Cheers mate:)
Echo000 Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 you have made yourself completely reliant on her emotionally. Even the pain, you appear to feed off of. Its comfortable, even if it hurts- its what you are used to. But its a sad thing, when a man or woman gets used to pain and finds comfort in it simply because it has become the norm for them. Sounds like this has been a part of your life for years now. If so, you have been building a bad habit with tons of negatives for years. You need to realize that this person is a drug, and you are an addict. If you let her go, think about how free your mind will be in time. Think about your heart not hurting constantly. How your thoughts wont be stuck in the past or in the future, but focused on the present. That is sad, to have seen that. That is not easy to deal with. I have never experienced that, seeing my ex with someone else. She is moving away for good, just found out recently. While its sad, it spares me from the pain you are left susceptible to. So i feel for you. Stay strong and keep the words of myself and others in mind. 1
Author frostythesnowman Posted July 9, 2013 Author Posted July 9, 2013 you have made yourself completely reliant on her emotionally. Even the pain, you appear to feed off of. Its comfortable, even if it hurts- its what you are used to. But its a sad thing, when a man or woman gets used to pain and finds comfort in it simply because it has become the norm for them. Sounds like this has been a part of your life for years now. If so, you have been building a bad habit with tons of negatives for years. You need to realize that this person is a drug, and you are an addict. If you let her go, think about how free your mind will be in time. Think about your heart not hurting constantly. How your thoughts wont be stuck in the past or in the future, but focused on the present. That is sad, to have seen that. That is not easy to deal with. I have never experienced that, seeing my ex with someone else. She is moving away for good, just found out recently. While its sad, it spares me from the pain you are left susceptible to. So i feel for you. Stay strong and keep the words of myself and others in mind. I believe you are spot on. This has gone on for many years, and at this point I have spent much more time in pain, trying to get her back and getting breadcrumbs than I spent actually dating her. I have even questioned myself before if I am seemingly addicted to it, and I believe I'm addicted to a mixture of the breadcrumbs and pain, because it's an emotional comfort and she has "been there for me". It's strange- unfortunately I was a little drunk when I saw them together in the store so I was not in a right state of mind, but at first I didn't really know how I should feel. I wasn't sure if it should hurt that I just saw them happily together, or I wasn't sure if I just didn't really give a ****. Of course the first set in and it did/does hurt, but this might be because of that addiction to that feeling that I'm so used to. I guess all I can do is keep doing what I've been doing- NC. I just wish I felt like I had the upper hand somehow to give me some confidence and help me move forward quicker
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