changed92 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 Quick background.... I had an affair, got pregnant, had abortion, left husband. Husband still desperately wants to be with me. We have a daughter together & the only reason I'd want to stay married is so she can have her parents together. I did cheat, but my husband and I had problems long before. He didn't enjoy doing anything at all except working and TV. Never wanted to hang as a family, and the only way he would is if I had sex with him first. I fell for someone else, who I now realize was more of an out from my marriage. I met the most amazing man. He's religious and anti abortion. I am not and wont ever tell him I cheated on my husband or had the abortion. In the beginning I decided it wasn't anyone's business but mine what had happened in the past. I was in a dark place, and I know myself so much better now. I understand my mistakes. We've been together almost 3 months, and say I love you. He's everything I've ever wanted in a partner. Wonderful father, smart, handsome, amazing job, and very financially secure. We have so much fun together, and it feels like I've known him for years because we are so comfortable around each other. I've fallen hard, and enjoy planning my future with him. A few of my friends know of my affair, and only a handful of people know of my abortion. I'm worried that this is a ticking time bomb. What if all that is exposed to him somehow. Even years down the line.... Is it his business? If I know myself today & how much pain and regret I went through. I wish I could take it all back, and I'm so sorry for what I did. I just can't bring myself to share this with him or anyone else I'd date. Is this acceptable? I feel guilty, like I should lay all my wrongs out now so he can hurry and leave. What is the right thing to do? Do I owe him my past?
darkmoon Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 (edited) no you don't owe, unless you want to give yourself a bad name with him, and if you think your "few friends" who know about your past are gossips, fade them out confessing causes the listener pain - how can it not? - srs question so telling your man about your mistakes is not a good idea, let your past become a blur, move on Edited July 7, 2013 by darkmoon
Eggplant Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Your ex-husband knows about the affair. What about your daughter -- does she know? The affair might come out.
Author changed92 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 My daughter is very young so does not understand or know. My husband does know everything. I'm worried about him
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