bloke123 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 (edited) We're early 30s. We've been living together for about a year now and have dated each other for approximately 2 years. Everything was awesome initially. Monthly getaways, romantic dinners, late nights talking about fantasy lives, etc. Right now, it feels like she is nagging me all of the time to do something and trying to micromanage every aspect of my life. Can you please take the dog out immediately when you wake up before taking a shower? Come home early from work? You have to work this weekend? Why? Can you take out the cat box twice a day instead of once every two days? Wash all of the dishes. Don't eat so fast. Take the dog out for 45 minutes as opposed to 30 minutes. Cook for me. You didn't cook it right. The latest incident is this. Her friend is getting married so she wanted to have a big shindig for her. She asked me to cook/bbq even though I''m not the best cook. I cook and bbq chicken for 3-4 hours the night of the shindig. Chicken legs are on the grill at 400-450 degrees for an hour or so. I bring them in and put them in the oven to keep them warm. She says they aren't done because she can see some blood drops on one. She then promptly asks every guest whether the chicken is done or not and whether it was cooked properly. WTF?! I'm seriously over being nagged at and being made a fool in front of other people. I "finish" the bloody chicken then resign myself to sleep while everyone else keeps partying. At 3 in the morning, she starts cleaning up while I'm asleep. She opens the door, turns the light on, and tries to wake me up to help clean. We get in an enormous fight about it, the nagging, and second guessing each other. The next morning, the issue resurfaces. I say screw this, I'm going to work. I leave and she is in tears. What am I supposed to do? It wasn't my party but I voluntarily helped and cooked only to be criticized and berated in front of everyone. Then when I point that fact out, it turns into a huge fight and now I'm the jerk for wanting to work and have some peace of mind. Edited July 7, 2013 by bloke123
Weezy1973 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I wouldn't even bother with counseling. She has to pack her bags and move to Dumpsville. Nagging over such irrelevant nonsense is a total deal breaker. For whatever reason, a lot of women just feel that they are 'all knowing'. For me, as soon as woman starts nagging about anything minor (like the things you describe) I let them know I won't tolerate it. If they do it again - see ya.
Jbum5 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 You're in a relationship where she has become highly dependent on you. On top of that, she's grown critical of your actions (or lack of, whatever the situation may be). Basically she wants an all-in-one man. But what she has is a normal boyfriend. She tries to "train" or push you to be the man she actually wants. When you attempt to do it, and fail or fall short of her expectations, she gets annoyed/upset/angry and gives you a "lecture". Your ego gets a bit hurt but you also start to see how unreasonable she can be so you fight. And this pattern has probably been repeated several times. You, sir, have a girlfriend who some would consider the "princess type." Others might refer to her as a bitch and refer to you as "whipped." Truthfully, those names mean nothing because what you have is difference in ability and expectations. To solve this you need to start by consistently reminding her (frame it in a constructive way) that you are human and that you can't possibly be perfect in every way she would like you to be.
shexy Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Sorry, she sounds like a bitch. Either break up with her or take the nagging for the rest of your life.
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