megan2319 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 My bf and I just finished our second year of college. We were friends all throughout freshman year, but early into this past year we both developed mutual feelings for each other and started "talking" first semester and officially dated after christmas break. we were quite serious: i met his family (in person), he met mine (via skype). many of our friends said they loved us together, we were perfect, etc. And I couldn't agree more! We really had very few problems. We were both over the infatuation stage. We saw each others' faults but it wasnt anything we couldnt handle. All was going great! And then summer hit! I'm in Washington and he is in Arkansas- so it was going to be a LDR. The first week was ok, we talked and texted. But then he became distant and didn't want to talk as much. I tried to give him space but it got to the point where he wouldn't talk to me unless I started conversation (he went 5 days without saying anything, so I finally texted him). I didn't think this was a huge problem, but I thought I'd bring it up to see if something was wrong. And out of no where he said he could not handle the distance and broke up with me. Some friends think he found someone else. I wonder if he didn't know how to respond to my concern. Distance was the only reason I got. Do you think we could get back together when school starts? I thought we had a good relationship and I was stunned when he thought my needing more communication was worth ending it.
StrongLass Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 many of our friends said they loved us together, we were perfect, etc. And I couldn't agree more! We really had very few problems. We were both over the infatuation stage. We saw each others' faults but it wasnt anything we couldnt handle. You keep saying "we" but clearly that's only you talking. A guy who agreed with all that wouldn't have dumped you. All was going great! From YOUR perspective. And out of no where he said he could not handle the distance and broke up with me. It wasn't out of nowhere. They might think about it for as little as a week before pulling the plug but the truth is that all had not been well in paradise for a while for things to go down like that. Some friends think he found someone else. Maybe. It could also be that he wasn't viewing the relationship as seriously as you were. Don't assume. I wonder if he didn't know how to respond to my concern. Distance was the only reason I got. Does the reason really matter? Ultimately he decided that YOU WEREN'T WORTH THE EFFORT. That's what should be sticking out like a red flag to you. Do you think we could get back together when school starts? Perhaps, but do you really want to be on an off all the time according to his whims without addressing any of the real problems of the relationship? I thought we had a good relationship It takes two to make things work dear. I was stunned when he thought my needing more communication was worth ending it. That shows that there was some seriously lacking communication on both of your parts.
BC1980 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Even if it is a LDR, 5 days without so much as a text is ridiculous if you are in a relationship. Basically, he didn't have the b*lls to tell you he wanted to break up, so he thought he would ignore you. As to why he broke up, he might very well have found someone else to occupy his time. Maybe he simply lost interest when you weren't around. I know it's difficult not to know, but finding out won't really matter. I would probably leave this one be and move on. He seems too immature to be in a relationship. He's 20 I'm guessing? The way he handled it isn't surprising. Most of us are fumbling with relationships at this point. I ended some stuff in less than admirable ways at that point in my life, and I've also been on the receiving end. As to your question, I have no clue if you will get back together. Your only chance, if you want to, is to ignore him for the time being. I wouldn't get my hopes up. A lot of people in their early 20s are not looking for long term relationships. Some are, but many are simply dating around. My guess is that he might try to get back with you when school starts, but his motive might not be a serious relationship. Just someone to hang out with and hook up with.
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