Eternal Sunshine Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I don't think that being cold generates more attraction really. When I am into someone, it will only make me like them more. However, people will flirt with you or seem to like you for different reasons. It's often to do with enjoying the attention and an ego boost. They may even not be clear what they want. Once you confess feelings, it makes it "real" for the other person. If they were flirting for fun, they realize that they have got in too deep and run away or distance themselves. Once you distance again, they think it's perhaps safe to "resume" the flirting because they are missing the attention rather than missing you. Sad but true.
joystickd Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I don't think that being cold generates more attraction really. When I am into someone, it will only make me like them more. However, people will flirt with you or seem to like you for different reasons. It's often to do with enjoying the attention and an ego boost. They may even not be clear what they want. Once you confess feelings, it makes it "real" for the other person. If they were flirting for fun, they realize that they have got in too deep and run away or distance themselves. Once you distance again, they think it's perhaps safe to "resume" the flirting because they are missing the attention rather than missing you. Sad but true. That's one good reason to be direct to put the fun flirters in a put up or shut up position. I know that is why I do it. I don't flirt for fun. I do it for a purpose and my time is wasted if you do it for fun. 1
soccerrprp Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Yes, I agree. This puts too much pressure on the other party. It scares them and they retreat. Hence why the guy from my example reacted the way he did. But not always. In your case(s), it would appear to be the case. I've shared this on a number of occasions, but I told my late wife that I LOVED her after 2-weeks of dating! She obviously did not sprint off. Of course, I would never do this now. Different times and people seem more damaged, insecure, cynical and far less romantic now days.
Author RebelWithoutACause Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Thanks everybody for sharing your perspectives. You've made some very interesting points. I wanted to reiterate that while I understand that confessing your feelings to someone who's on the same page will not turn them off, if they are not quite there yet, it probably will. And it might ruin what could have been a good relationship if they had been given more space/time, instead of being put on the spot. At least this has been my general observation from what I've seen, heard, read, etc. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Thanks everybody for sharing your perspectives. You've made some very interesting points. I wanted to reiterate that while I understand that confessing your feelings to someone who's on the same page will not turn them off, if they are not quite there yet, it probably will. And it might ruin what could have been a good relationship if they had been given more space/time, instead of being put on the spot. At least this has been my general observation from what I've seen, heard, read, etc. Exactly! So you really have much more to lose by confessing your feelings than not.
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