Spoonss Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 my ex and i dated for 5 years, it was one of those relationships that was amazing for most of it, while we did have some fights it never took away from how much we loved eachother. We literally where perfect for eachother. 1 week after she dumped me she said she was seeing some one else, I was in shock and in denial of the possibility of her cheating on me. I got a message from her saying she missed me in her life and wanted to be friends but she said she was "Mentally checking out of our relationship for 6 months" thats why she moved on so fast. to me this is the worst thing a person could do is use some one for security until they find some one new. I am just devastated and hurt and feel like crap.
mtnbiker3000 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 my ex and i dated for 5 years, it was one of those relationships that was amazing for most of it, while we did have some fights it never took away from how much we loved eachother. We literally where perfect for eachother. 1 week after she dumped me she said she was seeing some one else, I was in shock and in denial of the possibility of her cheating on me. I got a message from her saying she missed me in her life and wanted to be friends but she said she was "Mentally checking out of our relationship for 6 months" thats why she moved on so fast. to me this is the worst thing a person could do is use some one for security until they find some one new. I am just devastated and hurt and feel like crap. Totally agree with this. Unfortunately, this happens A LOT!!! Think back and see if you can identify behaviors, red flags, etc during this time. This will help you identify it should you ever find yourself in a similar situation again.
Legatus Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 It's one of the worst things a person can do. I was told my ex wasn't committed up to three months before the break up. She cheated on me, week later the relationship ended, two weeks later she was happy with another man. Why people just can't be honest? I feel your pain man! I wish my ex would have told me she wasn't happy and didn't waste my time. I knew something was up because I asked her and she lied anyway. Interestingly today (after 10 days NC) I get a message from her that it's good that I moved on so fast (sarcastically). Next time if you have even a small suspicion - say it at loud. If she says all is ok, keep asking, keep bringing the subject. Only that way you can make sure the other person is trustworthy. I learnt my lesson the hard way, but at least it made me wiser and stronger. It will make you the same, I'm sure!
Author Spoonss Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 Totally wasn't prepared for something like this at all. It just blows my mind on how people can do that to some one they claimed to love so much. You never see it coming until its too late. 1
NYCGuy22 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 Are we the same person? I too was in a 5 year relationship and she was "checked out" for the last 6 months and ended up finding someone at the end - but what is worse is that it was my close friend!! I ask myself every day how she could do that to me? After 5 years, how do you not try to make things work? How is it easier to leave and find someone else instead of repairing what has worked for so long? It sucks man. I was NC for over a week and broke it today and I am down in the dumps again. I feel as if this crap will never end. One day I hate her for what she did - and the next day I am still in love with her. I'm going crazy! 1
Author Spoonss Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 Mine said it was easier to find something without baggage.... and NYCguy similar story im glad it wasnt my close friend. Could only imagine that would be worse. I too am going ****ing crazy hating her and being ok for a few days then the next day I find myself in love with her still...... WHEN Will it end
NYCGuy22 Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 How long has it been since the break up? I'm going on a month and it is not getting better. Some days are great and then some days like today are awful.
Author Spoonss Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 How long has it been since the break up? I'm going on a month and it is not getting better. Some days are great and then some days like today are awful. It has been 2 months almost exactly, whats worse is she called a few times to rub it in my face came off really nice saying she missed me in her life then went on to talk about how happy she was with her new boyfriend. After this dude i dont know im not gonna have a easy time trusting anyone
noobstar Posted July 7, 2013 Posted July 7, 2013 its sad to say but people are weak, thats why they monkey branch
Author Spoonss Posted July 7, 2013 Author Posted July 7, 2013 Sometimes i feel like both of us really ****ed up to get in this spot we are in and once it happened it just kept getting worse and worse no matter what happened today I am getting so sad. because I really did love her and she was my best friend for so long.
Author Spoonss Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 It is the worst feeling in the world, to be dumped by your girlfriend after she was seeing someone else during your relationship. I know what she did was terrible but i cant help but think why? Was i not good enough or attractive enough to be worth it. Its making me really depressed today. I cant understand.
NYCGuy22 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I feel your pain. I have to say though that I am confused when people keep saying "It has nothing to do with you" and "learn from it". If it has nothing to do with us, then what are we supposed to learn? Are we supposed to learn that we can't trust people? Are we supposed to learn that we caused it to happen and figure out how? I'm not sure what there is to learn when people cheat on you and leave you - other than you learn they are a horrible person that doesn't love you. 2
StraylightRun24 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 It has nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally, just learn from it. Right on love does not exist! It actually speaks about her character and absolutely has nothing to do with you. I know it's hard to look at it like that when you are in the initial shock and awe of a BU but once you get out of that state and can look at it objectively you'll realize the cheating is on her. Keep your head up!
Author Spoonss Posted July 8, 2013 Author Posted July 8, 2013 Right on love does not exist! It actually speaks about her character and absolutely has nothing to do with you. I know it's hard to look at it like that when you are in the initial shock and awe of a BU but once you get out of that state and can look at it objectively you'll realize the cheating is on her. Keep your head up! It has been 2 months and i am feeling like this now the shock and awe is over I just feel like garbage.
StraylightRun24 Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that 2 months out that you are still feeling "like garbage" but try not to be so hard on yourself. For one thing 2 months is really not that long of a time to get over a relationship. The one that brought me here only lasted 4 months and it's been over 6 months and I still haven't completely moved on. For a lot of us on here we just take a lot longer to get over these sort of things/let go. And as I stated above it speaks volumes about her character and has little to do with anything concerning you. You really have to try and look at it from that point of view. Yea I know it's hard but you really have to try to do that. I mean she's a cheater....would you really want to spend your life with somebody like that?
Chi townD Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 You need to go complete NC on her. She states that she misses you and goes on to say how "nice" this guy is. She's doing that for her own benefit. She has to convince herself that she made the right choice, which meant hurting you in to the process. That her and this new guy were meant to be. Dude, you are not her friend. You can't be her friend while you harbor romantic feelings for her. Tie to start NC, dude. A true NC.
Mws Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 I agree with you guys, but honestly its just a huge blow to the ego. To think that the person who use to look at you like you where the best person in the world for 5 years to replacing you for another person. something just hit me today and i feel like I cant even think of another girl for a while I just lost all confidence.
bubbaganoosh Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 What you have here is a woman with no manners and lacks common sense. Seems like she uses people to fill her own agenda. Well I believe that what goes around, comes around, and some day it will sneak up on her and bite her square in the ass. Maybe, she'll learn a lesson. As for you, move on and up. You can find a better quality woman.
Mws Posted July 9, 2013 Posted July 9, 2013 What you have here is a woman with no manners and lacks common sense. Seems like she uses people to fill her own agenda. Well I believe that what goes around, comes around, and some day it will sneak up on her and bite her square in the ass. Maybe, she'll learn a lesson. As for you, move on and up. You can find a better quality woman. That is true dude. I feel your pain though. Nothing like this is ever easy especially after 5 years.
Recommended Posts